the other jokes

[Nobody]

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, would a bushel of apples a day make us immortal?

[Nobody]

I love pickles so much that I have a bumper sticker that says
DILL BABY DILL!

[Cassia]

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, would a bushel of apples a day make us immortal?

Yes, if you had chicken soup once in a while as well. But alas, christians know they are immortal and even gain back their 19-year-old bodies and their favorite pets and all the mass murderers who found jeebus in prison.

[Hydra009]

I love pickles so much that I have a bumper sticker that says
DILL BABY DILL!

Now that's a joke I can relish!

[Nobody]

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

[Cassia]

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Now in FL, boating under the influence (BUI) has the same effect as a DUI. My father loved getting sloshed and I was the designated captain. However, back then the boat cops didn't really enforce drinking. So many fond memories of fishing, cruising crystal clear, turquoise water down in The Keys. Salt air, dried squid stuck to the gunnels, crashing through waves, the gulls and pelicans, dock-side tiki-bars.

[Nobody]

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."
Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the plow got out and asked her what she was doing.
She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, would a bushel of apples a day make us immortal?

Just one made Eve immoral.

[Cassia]

You can never explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things, literally.

[Cassia]

-I rear ended a car this morning. A bad start to the day. The driver got out of the car, and he was a dwarf! He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy." I said, "Well, which one are you then?" And that's how the fight started.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

-I rear ended a car this morning. A bad start to the day. The driver got out of the car, and he was a dwarf! He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy." I said, "Well, which one are you then?" And that's how the fight started.

That was a really Dopey thing to say.

[Nobody]

A wagon full of gold wedding bands was being taken from the Shire to Mount Doom.

It was the load of the rings.

[Cassia]

A wagon full of gold wedding bands was being taken from the Shire to Mount Doom.

It was the load of the rings.

Maybe in 2000 years they will worship Gandalf as savior.

[Cassia]

Two ducks were sitting in a pond. One of the ducks said: "Quack". The other duck said: "I was just going to say that!"

[Nobody]

I thought the other duck was gonna say "you took the words right out of my mouth!" 🤣