the other jokes

[Hydra009]

I don't think I'll ever top the comedy genius of my brother when he was six.

He turns to me and says, "What do you call a...?" and just abruptly stops like his train of thought just hit a brick wall.

I say "A what??"

He just looks at me funny for a second, struggles to conceptualize...something, fails, then walks away.

To this day, I have no idea what he was referring to.

[Nobody]

Do pinto horses eat pinto beans?

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Do pinto horses eat pinto beans?

Do they suck pinto balls?

[Hydra009]

Production: This is the worst product we've ever made.  It's screwed up in ways I never thought possible.  And what's more, we lost most of our inventory in a warehouse fire.  No way we'll hit our sales targets.

Sales: Limited edition!  Get your unique, one-of-a-kind product today.  Supplies are running out fast!

[Nobody]

"Everyone wants Trump to run - head first into oncoming traffic."
Dana Carvey
🤣

[Cassia]

Noah probably didn't do any fishing on the Ark. Not with just 2 worms.

[Nobody]

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

[Cassia]

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Bigger wisdom is the understanding of how fruits always originate from the ovary of a flower.

[Nobody]

"Last night a fortune cookie said I was gonna have a rotten day. This morning my horoscope said it was gonna be beautiful. So, who ya gonna believe, the Chinese baker or the New York Times?"
Chano Amengual, on Barney Miller

[Hydra009]

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Strength is pulping a tomato with merely your thumb and pinkie finger.  Intelligence is pulping a tomato in a rube-golberg machine.  Dexterity is drawing a perfectly circular tomato in freehand.  Charisma is selling a tomato-based pizza to people by portraying it as the product of an ancient and authentic Italian recipe.  Constitution is consuming five raw tomatoes in one sitting.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Cousin: I grew a tomato as big as my head.
Me: So, cherry tomato...

[Nobody]

"If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader!"
Chuck Barris

[Cassia]

"If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader!"
Chuck Barris

There was a kid in 2nd grade named Adam Baum.

[Nobody]

"If salad is so good for ya, how come ya can't barbecue it?"
Red Green

[Cassia]

"If salad is so good for ya, how come ya can't barbecue it?"
Red Green

I liked the episode when he worked on his boat.