"I Am a Pedophile" Article

[peacewithoutgod]

I'll never forget the day that my mother announced to the family, after both of her parents were dead, how she had been molested by her own father, with her mother's obvious knowledge. She grew up in the 1950's, when authority trumped rights everywhere in American society. Both my sister and I were childless when we heard this, and while she later had two daughters, I never had any children. No, I'm NOT a pedophile too, I did NOT inherit my late evil granddad's gene for that! I've been haunted nevertheless by the feeling that this needs to be explained, ridiculous as it is, and have wondered if the reason why I was never asked to baby-sit my nieces had to do with a secret fear on my sister's part that I, with similar looks to that evil looks to that evil grandparent, may be like he was. I do have interesting kinks, but with children my only urge is to protect them - the thought of using them in any way just makes me sick! I won't play the hypocrite regarding hate, it can have a rational basis, and it's to be despised when it isn't, and there is a special place in my well of hatred for those who harm children!

While I find the thought of involving a child in sex to be sickening, so it's true for me regarding sex with another man. So I understand it holds with me, but not with all. Moreover, there are people who are only sexually excited by children, but do not actually harm children because they don't want to harm them. Furthermore, there is no scientific argument that pedophilia is any less in-born than LGBT deviations from the Darwinian norm - this point was hotly debated in a a thread posted earlier this month on this site, but anybody who understands logical discourse knows how WEAK the con arguments were. When it was  shut down because some people thought their right to hate and hound for life out of a home and job people who they prefer not to understand is more important than the need for them and for society to deal with their condition more positively when they avoid harming children.  I regard this sort of censorship as intellectual cowardice at its hight, although Salon wasn't too phobic to deal with similar commentary: http://www.salon.com/2015/09/30/im_a_pedophile_youre_the_monsters_my_week_inside_the_vile_right_wing_hate_machine/

Every single one of us is capable of lying, stealing, raping, and killing, and more than a few among us have done so, or had the urge to do all of the above. Those who don't do such evil study their urges and find more positive solutions around them. Those with urges which you do not understand are now calling out to you for help, because they do not want to do evil, and how did you respond? You shut down the thread! Those who respond this way have no right to call yourselves "social", nor in any way reasonable - it's just plain hatred, ugly and bare as any racism or homophobia. Not even the "psychological"/physiological" debate has any relevance on this, in a world which has at least scientifically long moved past the myth that any such true distinction exists.

[Hijiri Byakuren]

Most pedophiles are not child molestors, most sociopaths are not murderous bastards, most narcissists are not trying to be terrible people, etc. etc. We know these things to be real, manageable conditions, and if pedophiles weren't so afraid to reveal themselves we could probably prevent many more tragedies. Unfortunately, the overwhelming majority is still going to instantly vilify them, driving them further underground and increasing the risk of them having an incident with a child. It always happens, and it never succeeds in preventing incidents. They say the definition of insanity is repeating the same process and expecting a different result...

[Solitary]

Well said!

[Baruch]

Except that ... this society will employ something worse than burning at the stake, in its sense of anathema and taboo.  So STFU ... as a pragmatic consideration.  Also TMK about your family ... thanks for sharing!

[CrucifyCindy]

I am really getting fucking sick of people equating paedophilia with LGBT. Being gay isn't a mental disorder, paedophilia is. Paedophilia is not a sexuality because it has nothing to do with gender attraction, it is paraphilia. And it should only be discussed as a paraphilia not as an alternative lifestyle.

[TomFoolery]

I am really getting fucking sick of people equating paedophilia with LGBT. Being gay isn't a mental disorder, paedophilia is.

Being gay used to be a mental disorder. Thankfully we stopped trying to legislate morality and realized what two consenting adults do between themselves shouldn't be anyone's business. But I think most people would say the only difference between a sexual orientation and a paraphilia is the ability of the partner to consent and the social stigma associated with it.

Paedophilia is not a sexuality because it has nothing to do with gender attraction, it is paraphilia.

Why do you think sexuality has to relate to gender only?

And it should only be discussed as a paraphilia not as an alternative lifestyle.

I highly doubt anyone is suggesting it should be an "alternate lifestyle" because a child cannot ever give consent. Why would anyone choose to be attracted to children, given it's practically the most taboo thing in Western culture? Why would anyone choose to be transgendered? Or gay? Or attracted to animals? Or attracted to dead bodies? I think the obvious answer is that they wouldn't, and the best we can do about it is what I mentioned before: being gay or transgendered doesn't hurt anyone. Fucking kids and animals does. If you want to draw the line and say it's a paraphilia then you're absolutely correct. But to not understand how it can in some instances be equated with the LGBT community is to act like all sexual impulses are different, and they aren't.

I think many people also confuse the abuse of children with pedophilia. There are people that sexually abuse children and aren't attracted to them. They do predatory things like that out of powerlessness and children make easy prey. It's fucking disgusting. And then there are pedophiles that feel sexually attracted to children and don't act on it. I can't imagine that's easy to do, because as the Catholic Church and Josh Duggar have shown us recently, being told sex is gross and you have to abstain from it forever often doesn't work. People are inherently sexual beings.

I think the OP hit the nail on the head: under the right circumstances, that veneer of humanity washes right off and pretty much all of us are capable of doing really awful things to one another. Men in prison rape one another though they claim to be straight out of a need for power and sometimes sexual urges. Russian prisoners of war clawed their comrades eyes out fighting each other for a few scraps of bread from the Nazis. The examples are endless. We don't want to admit it to ourselves that we're all just animals desperate to survive. So when someone else admits it out loud, we all act really shocked and appalled and act like church-going, pearl-clutching, fan-waving holier-than-thou assholes. It's really easy to do that to pedophiles because if you've ever watched an episode of Law & Order SVU, you think you know what pedophilia is all about. The truth is, sexuality is complex and still poorly understood, along with virtually everything else about the human psyche.

[peacewithoutgod]

I am really getting fucking sick of people equating paedophilia with LGBT. Being gay isn't a mental disorder, paedophilia is. Paedophilia is not a sexuality because it has nothing to do with gender attraction, it is paraphilia. And it should only be discussed as a paraphilia not as an alternative lifestyle.

You have no evidence for that claim, and you know it. When you know you have no truly scientific evidence to back your position, you resort to the straw-men beating, e.g. nothing was said by anyone other than you to discuss pedophilia as any sort of alternative "lifestyle". Even that which has been linked to LGBT conditions is inconclusive, and we already know that you have one of these you should be accepted in society when you practice your inclinations in an alternative lifestyle because it is harmless, and the love between LGBT partners can be as real (or not) as between hetero partners. That to do so with some other conditions would be monstrous has no bearing on the likelihood that their root causes are similar, if not the same, and this is why those who are pedophiles and don't take advantage of children deserve as much as LGBT people to be understood. Understanding of people outside of your own worldview has consistently been your weak point since you joined this forum, so I suggest you put a sock in it now before you make an even bigger asshole of yourself.

[dtq123]

You have no evidence for that claim, and you know it. When you know you have no truly scientific evidence to back your position, you resort to the straw-men beating, e.g. nothing was said by anyone other than you to discuss pedophilia as any sort of alternative "lifestyle". Even that which has been linked to LGBT conditions is inconclusive, and we already know that you have one of these you should be accepted in society when you practice your inclinations in an alternative lifestyle because it is harmless, and the love between LGBT partners can be as real (or not) as between hetero partners. That to do so with some other conditions would be monstrous has no bearing on the likelihood that their root causes are similar, if not the same, and this is why those who are pedophiles and don't take advantage of children deserve as much as LGBT people to be understood. Understanding of people outside of your own worldview has consistently been your weak point since you joined this forum, so I suggest you put a sock in it now before you make an even bigger asshole of yourself.

Google Search says;
par·a·phil·i·a
ËŒperəˈfilÄ"É™/
nounPSYCHIATRY
a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities.

Judging by the amount of the population who are not pedophiles, and the fact the the pedophilia is (often) strong enough to remove romantic desire for peers, I say it would be a fair definition.

What I'm really questioning is why paraphilia has a negative connotation. Extreme things are not always bad, right?

Edit: I am a pedophile and I approve of this message.

[Shiranu]

IMO, don't compare it to the LGBT community; IF you want, start a Pedophile-Necrophilia-Bestiality-etc community, but it's not the same as consensual relationship between two adults and should not be compared to it. That doesn't mean it should be judged IF they aren't harming anyone else or saying they should be allowed to (I have enough weird Fetishes to know better than to judge...), but at the same time it is simply not the same as a straight or LGBT orientation.

[The Skeletal Atheist]

Pedophilia is a sexual orientation, in my mind, but unfortunately for the pedophile it is one that can't be explored without harming someone. And that's what makes homosexuality different from pedophilia, ethically speaking, homosexuality can be conducted with a consenting person, pedophilia can't.

Pedophilia is also a paraphilia, being that it's a sexual desire that can't be physically expressed without some kind of harm. That being said, we shouldn't unnecessarily demonize pedophiles. Yes, look down upon the ones who actively molest and rape children, but let's not lump in the non-offenders in with the offenders. They should be pitied in a way, they have one of the ultimate unwanted situations weighing down on them. They have desires, but if they act on them they are hurting people.

What needs to be done with them is not a blanket "Fuck you scum", but rather some approach that recognizes their hardship and seeks to help them not offend. By driving them underground and dehumanizing them we're only making it harder for them to seek help and easier to just give in to their urges. I don't know how it can be done, honestly, but something needs to be done where a pedophile can easily get the help they need without totally ostracizing them. Or we can keep it like it currently is: wait until they molest some children and ruin the kids lives, throw them into prison and ruin their lives, and say fuck it to preventative measures because they're icky and we don't want to help them.

[PickelledEggs]

You have no evidence for that claim, and you know it. When you know you have no truly scientific evidence to back your position, you resort to the straw-men beating, e.g. nothing was said by anyone other than you to discuss pedophilia as any sort of alternative "lifestyle". Even that which has been linked to LGBT conditions is inconclusive, and we already know that you have one of these you should be accepted in society when you practice your inclinations in an alternative lifestyle because it is harmless, and the love between LGBT partners can be as real (or not) as between hetero partners. That to do so with some other conditions would be monstrous has no bearing on the likelihood that their root causes are similar, if not the same, and this is why those who are pedophiles and don't take advantage of children deserve as much as LGBT people to be understood. Understanding of people outside of your own worldview has consistently been your weak point since you joined this forum, so I suggest you put a sock in it now before you make an even bigger asshole of yourself.

Can you please calm yourself. I'd rather this not turn in to another unnecessary, full-blown pissing match/argument.

[The Skeletal Atheist]

Can you please calm yourself. I'd rather this not turn in to another unnecessary, full-blown pissing match/argument.

But...but...pissing matches are how we measure status here. My piss is the most golden, the most odorous. I piss more than anyone.

Goddammit, someone on the internet is wrong!!!

[CrucifyCindy]

You have no evidence for that claim, and you know it.

Except for the fact that the DSM-5 lists it as a fucking disorder? Facts must kill you. You are the enemy of facts.

[Hijiri Byakuren]

Except for the fact that the DSM-5 lists it as a fucking disorder? Facts must kill you. You are the enemy of facts.

Because the DSM is infallible and has never been wrong. /s


Secretly a Warsie.

[CrucifyCindy]

Because the DSM is infallible and has never been wrong. /s


Secretly a Warsie.

I would think that the APA is more familiar with the subject being that they actually study the subject at hand. But you guys are the experts so we just throw away everything the medical community tells us about mental and physical conditions and just listen to a bunch of yobs blabbering about on the webs. No. When it cimes to medical issues I tend to listen to doctors not voodoo shamans who don't want to hurt the feelings of paedophiles.