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the other jokes

Started by Cassia, August 08, 2022, 11:53:41 AM

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Gawdzilla Sama

#495
December 16, 2024, 08:08:13 PM
Quote from: Unbeliever on December 16, 2024, 02:03:52 PMIf your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90° there.
You obviously haven't been in a lot of houses built during the US Baby Boom after WWII. I lived in one that had ZERO drywall. The paneling was nailed directly to the wall studs.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Cassia

#496
December 18, 2024, 11:22:59 AM
I remember an interview with Chuck Norris about the jokes, he loved them. The interview asked if he was fast enough to run around the earth and punch himself in the back of the head?
"No. I'd hear myself coming."

Guns sleep with Chuck Norris under their pillow

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

Chuck Norris gets 4-wheel drive out of his bicycle

Unbeliever

#497
December 18, 2024, 12:42:18 PM
Chuck Norris makes hay while the sun sets.
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Unbeliever

#498
December 27, 2024, 06:16:32 PM
"Physics is like sex: sure, it gives some practical results, but that's not why we do it."
Richard Feynman
🤣
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Unbeliever

#499
December 28, 2024, 04:42:31 PM
"How many 3 wise men were there?"
Philomena Cunk
🤣
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Hydra009

#500
December 28, 2024, 06:14:40 PM
*at a supermarket*
"Do you guys have any... you know...buttery stuff?"
"Can you clarify?"
"Sure."
"Ghee, thanks."

Hydra009

#501
January 12, 2025, 12:35:33 PM
My dad used to say that if you're gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough.

Joke's on him, I'm both!

Gawdzilla Sama

#502
January 12, 2025, 01:31:00 PM
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Hydra009

#503
January 16, 2025, 06:35:09 PM
I don't get why they say certain snakes can kill dozens of humans with a single bite.  Barring extremely abnormal circumstances, a single bite will only ever bite one person.  So the maximum number of humans a snake can kill with one bite is one.

Gawdzilla Sama

#504
January 16, 2025, 06:55:43 PM
Um, venom reservoirs?

I've never heard of such a large amount of venom being available.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

drunkenshoe

#505
January 17, 2025, 12:53:39 AM
Quote from: Hydra009 on January 16, 2025, 06:35:09 PMI don't get why they say certain snakes can kill dozens of humans with a single bite.  Barring extremely abnormal circumstances, a single bite will only ever bite one person.  So the maximum number of humans a snake can kill with one bite is one.

Oh my nerd. People don't think/remember after "can kill ... with a single bite".
"his philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -the cynics, the stoics and the epicureans-and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'you can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.'" terry pratchett

Unbeliever

#506
February 03, 2025, 12:06:53 AM
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people seem bright before they open their mouth.
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Hydra009

#507
February 03, 2025, 06:57:16 PM
This justin:
All people with first names beginning with j will be rounded up and put on a penal colony on an island just off the mainland

Gawdzilla Sama

#508
February 04, 2025, 07:34:05 AM
Quote from: Hydra009 on February 03, 2025, 06:57:16 PMThis justin:
All people with first names beginning with j will be rounded up and put on a penal colony on an island just off the mainland
Please don't just off in public.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Unbeliever

#509
February 04, 2025, 10:29:12 AM
Will it be Epstein's island, or Gilligan's island?
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman
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