the other jokes

[Hydra009]

Noah every time it rains after the flood: "Just a little rain.  It's not the end of the world"

[Cassia]

Noah every time it rains after the flood: "Just a little rain.  It's not the end of the world"

I'm stealing that.

[Unbeliever]

I came across a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems.
So I bought 2 of them.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

So, that's 25%?

Or does my math suck that bad?

[Mr.Obvious]

Actually, would be 75% solved

Buy the first book, solve half. Second book wil fix half of the remaining half.
Right?

[the_antithesis]

Aw, man.

You gotta buy an infinite number of books.
And even then you only approach zero.
You never get there.

[Unbeliever]

Yeah, the guy who wrote the book is probably named Zeno.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Zen and the art of copying my girlfriend's homework, it shows.

[Dark Lightning]

Actually, would be 75% solved

Buy the first book, solve half. Second book wil fix half of the remaining half.
Right?

It's possible that the other half of the questions will be answered in the second text. Not all probability is multiplicative, some is additive.

[Unbeliever]

A man walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender said, "Does the animal talk?"
"I have no idea," replied the parrot.

[Dark Lightning]

Pirate walks into a bar with a tiller hanging by a chain from his shorts.
Bartender says, "That's got to be uncomfortable!"
Pirate says, "Aye, it drives me nuts!"

[Cassia]

A man walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender said, "Does the animal talk?"
"I have no idea," replied the parrot.

~~~~The classic~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "so why the long face".
~~~~And some others~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a MIJ, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."
~~~This is deep~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barkeep says, "You're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?" The horse replies, "I don't think I am," and vanishes from existence.

[Hydra009]

A marine walks into a BAR, knocking it over.  He says, "Hey! You're not my M60!"

[Gawdzilla Sama]

How do you break a Marine's finger?

You punch him in the nose.

[Unbeliever]

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90° there.