the other jokes

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[Mr.Obvious]

There is this joke about a boomerang i can't quite recall.

I'm sure it'll come back to me.

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[Cassia]

You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

[PopeyesPappy]

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

[Unbeliever]

I've only just discovered Dave's World, by watching Night Court clips on YouTube.
Here's one that I heard in the very first episode:

Why did the dumb blonde stare at the orange juice carton?



It said "concentrate."

[Unbeliever]

Here's an old limerick I just remembered:

A crusty old whore named Louise
Had cunt-hair that hung to her knees.
So the crabs in her twat
Tied the hair in a knot
And constructed a flying trapeze.

🙊🙉🙈

[Dark Lightning]

A busy young hooker named Randles
Is famed for the men that she handles
She said, "When things get real busy
"My cunt gets all jizzy,
And my legs look just like wax candles!".

[Unbeliever]

Over at JREF we used to have a thread about limericks in which the first line was given and we had to come up with the rest of a limerick.

I was once given the line:
Just one drop of this golden elixir,

So I came up with:

Just one drop of this golden elixir
(And perhaps just a small bit of mixer)
He was ready for sex
With lingual effects
'Cause his girlfriend just loves when he licks 'er!

They gave me some grief for it, but
hell, what else rhymes with "elixir? 🤔

[Unbeliever]

Another line I was fed was:

A sasquatch with fleas in his fur

So I came up with:

A sasquatch with fleas in his fur
Scratched so fast that his hands were a blur.
He had fur when he started,
But soon it departed,
Then it was obvious - "he" was a "her."

🤫

[Mr.Obvious]

Over at JREF we used to have a thread about limericks in which the first line was given and we had to come up with the rest of a limerick.

I was once given the line:
Just one drop of this golden elixir,

So I came up with:

Just one drop of this golden elixir
(And perhaps just a small bit of mixer)
He was ready for sex
With lingual effects
'Cause his girlfriend just loves when he licks 'er!

They gave me some grief for it, but
hell, what else rhymes with "elixir? 🤔

Just one drop of his golden elixir,
Would give the cowgirl her fixer.
Thanked the barkeep soon.
Was almost high noon.
She walked out clutching her sixer.

What is jref btw?

[Unbeliever]

The James Randi Educational Foundation, a skeptic's forum.

[Unbeliever]

What monster plays the most April Fool's day jokes?



Prankenstein 🤢🤮