the other jokes

[the_antithesis]

"I fixed my motorcycle," Tom said Harley-Davidsonly.

[Cassia]

"I'd better repeat that SOS message," said Tom remorsefully.

[Unbeliever]

SOS is the only thing I remember from my Morse code training 50 years ago.
Dit dit dit
Dah dah dah
Dit dit dit
🫡

[Dark Lightning]

Well.

dit dit dit
dit dit dit dit
dit dit
dah!

[Mr.Obvious]

Been seeing a lot of youtube shorts making fun of languages, having similar or the same words for different things, to make ridiculous sentences.
Like in french, green glas, verres vert.

But how could one in english say that he once witnessed a clergyman trying to offer spaghetti to another someone, behind his colleague's back.

In the past, the pastor passed the pasta past the pastor.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"I don't give a flip" said Wilson.

[Hydra009]

Most dragons sleep during the day so they can fight at knights.

Halflings are full-lings to each other.

Wizards are a-mage-ing but paladins really shine.

Warlocks are hopeless alcoholics.  Never get between them and their patrón.

[Blackleaf]

The two worst animals that exist are humans and mosquitos. One is a blood-sucking parasite, which doesn't contribute anything positive to the world, and the other is the mosquito.

[Hydra009]

The two worst animals that exist are humans and mosquitos. One is a blood-sucking parasite, which doesn't contribute anything positive to the world, and the other is the mosquito.

Yet we have shark week.

[Blackleaf]

Yet we have shark week.

This chart would look very different if it were "species killed by animals per year." Humans are their own major extinction event. We can't help ourselves.

"Hey, animals. You don't need this habitat, do you? We'll just level that out, strip it of all its resources, maybe turn it into a concrete hellscape to torture ourselves with."

"Global warming? Pfft! We got snow last Winter, and that almost never happens! ...Wait, there's ANOTHER hurricane coming? Why are there so many of these now?"

"Micro-plastics in our oceans? Bah! What's the worst that can happen? ...It's in our what? ...Scientists couldn't find a single person to use as a control group to study the effects of the plastics in our bodies? Jesus fucking Christ... I'm just gonna ignore that and hope it goes away."

[Unbeliever]

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.

[Unbeliever]

A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.

[Dark Lightning]

A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.

And when it's torqued up, all kinds of mayhem ensue in traffic.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.

Well, that certainly wrenched my mind.

[Hydra009]