the other jokes

[the_antithesis]

You've seen two normals.

That a pair of normals.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

there is a turkish saying that goes: live it full and fast, die young so that your "dead" body will be handsome.

Boss Lady, reading over my shoulder, "Well, you tried."

[Gawdzilla Sama]

You've seen two normals.

That a pair of normals.

That joke didn't have a ghost of a chance of being funny.

[SoldierofFortune]

Boss Lady, reading over my shoulder, "Well, you tried."

Hey, Gawd.

As I grow older and have relatively more wisdom, I'm increasingly more aware of the worth living the life more fully.

Only a moronic attitude towards life can celebrate the virtues of death before one's time.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Where's Liz been?
Portugal

Bon chance!

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Hey, Gawd.

As I grow older and have relatively more wisdom, I'm increasingly more aware of the worth living the life more fully.

Only a moronic attitude towards life can celebrate the virtues of death before one's time.

I'm 73 (as maybe been mentioned before) and am quite pleased with my current situation. My fourth wife* is a good match for me, our weirds interlock nicely.

*1 and 3 died. 2 made me very happy by buggering off. Would that it was sooner.

[SoldierofFortune]

I'm 36 and regret my past. I'm often thinking that my life might have been better and I find solace that it might have really got worse.

You are 73 and you are a winner bro if u r pleased with your current situation.

[Hydra009]

I read something about middle age being the peak self-reprorted life dissatisfaction.  At younger and older ages, people usually say that things are going better for them.

[Unbeliever]

My life has never been better, and I'm 68! I'm really loving the way my life is, but I really enjoyed my previous life too, even though many people would say I had a very hard life, due to my upbringing and my subsequent screw-ups.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I'm 36 and regret my past. I'm often thinking that my life might have been better and I find solace that it might have really got worse.

You are 73 and you are a winner bro if u r pleased with your current situation.

If I ignore the woulda-coulda-shoulda then I'm very happy now. Wife #4 is low maintenance/low stress. My maternal grandfather lived into his eighties. I keep threatening to do that. Wife threatens to start cooking for me. (She isn't allowed in the kitchen.)

I've slept in 72 countries, thank you tax payers! Drove all the around Africa, spent the night on top of Kilimanjaro just so we could watch the sun come up on the equinox. Hit Timbuktu on the way to Spain. (You can NOT go past Timbuktu if it's in range!)

[Cassia]

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

I'd like to have kids one day. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

[Unbeliever]

What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel and a hairstylist's poodle?


A cocker poodle doo.

[Cassia]

On a train, the wife says to the husband, "I've let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?" The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid.

[Cassia]

I got a new job in a guillotine factory. I'll beheading there tomorrow.

[Dark Lightning]

Probably should start a thread for Tom Swifty jokes, but I'll put one here.

"I'm coming", Tom ejaculated.