"If at first you don't succeed, use more duct tape."
Red Green

Here's another one from Red Green:
"If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

Handsy?

Quote from: the_antithesis on November 30, 2023, 11:58:56 PMHandsy?

🖖

Quote from: Unbeliever on November 30, 2023, 11:21:21 PMHere's another one from Red Green:
"If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

Almost Groucho style.

Have you ever seen the Red Green Show? It's pretty funny!

"I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then, whenever I need boiling water, I simply defrost it."
Gracie Allen

I don't vote for the Democratic Party. I don't vote for the Republican Party. I don't vote for the Green Party.
I only vote for the Surprise Party.

"I intend to live forever, or die trying."
Groucho Marx

Quote from: Unbeliever on December 01, 2023, 06:41:50 PMHave you ever seen the Red Green Show? It's pretty funny!

Yeah, he is a great engineer....I think he used a weed whacker as a boat motor or something like that.

Here's another Groucho Marx quote that doesn't really belong in this thread because it's not funny, and it's not a joke, but it's a great quote:
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

Quote from: Cassia on December 01, 2023, 02:48:04 PMAlmost Groucho style.

Meh, I read that joke inside a dog.

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
Groucho Marx

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
Rodney Dangerfield

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
George Carlin