the other jokes

[Unbeliever]

Was it a Cheshire cat?😺

[Unbeliever]

I'm having a Guinness at the local watering hole, and the bartender has a T-shirt that says:

DUCT TAPE
it can't fix
STUPID
but it can
MUFFLE
the sound

[Unbeliever]

From a headline:
Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.

[Dark Lightning]

😄 Ya think!?

[Hydra009]

[Hydra009]

I quit drinking cold turkey.

That stuff tasted terrible.

[Dark Lightning]

Hmmm. I haven't any Wild Turkey 101 proof in months. Damn, that stuff is good!
Fun story. Back in the late '70s to early '80s, I worked as a mechanic. The boss would buy everyone a turkey at Thanksgiving and xmas. After the first time, that seemed a bit lopsided to me, so I did a whip-around with the other employees and bought him a decanter of Wild Turkey. His wife told me later that that was his favorite bourbon. In the 6 years I worked there until I graduated uni, he got a decanter of Wild Turkey at xmas.

[Cassia]

Hmmm. I haven't any Wild Turkey 101 proof in months. Damn, that stuff is good!
Fun story. Back in the late '70s to early '80s, I worked as a mechanic. The boss would buy everyone a turkey at Thanksgiving and xmas. After the first time, that seemed a bit lopsided to me, so I did a whip-around with the other employees and bought him a decanter of Wild Turkey. His wife told me later that that was his favorite bourbon. In the 6 years I worked there until I graduated uni, he got a decanter of Wild Turkey at xmas.

One of my first jobs was at a privately owned engineering/manufacturing firm. The owner would dress as Santa and drive around in a golf cart handing out turkeys. On either side of him he had buxom "stripper" elves who helped hand the gifts out.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

When I lived "on the economy"* in Puerto Rico I shared a place with three other sailors. I home alone that day so I bought a bottle of Smirnoff Silver and had a few sips before going to bed. When I woke up the bottle hadn't moved. This would come is second after the Second Coming of Christ. But as I looked closer I saw that "somebody" had written "snake oil" on the label. My roomies were afraid to test that.

[Unbeliever]

If God didn't want us to have guns he wouldn't have given us trigger fingers!

[Unbeliever]

My bartender's t-shirt says "Bartenders make it fun to swallow."

[Unbeliever]

The Lord giveth,and the Lord taketh away.
Does that make the Lord an indian giver?

[Cassia]

What's the difference between a child and a prostitute?

I don't know, what?

You fucking monster.

[Cassia]

Pirate walks into a bar, bartender says, hey man, you know you have a steering wheel hanging out of your pants? Pirate says, arr aye matey it's drivin me nuts...

[Cassia]

There is a new fad around town.....glass-top coffins. If it really catches on or not remains to be seen.