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Extraordinary Claims => Religion General Discussion => Christianity => Topic started by: stromboli on November 11, 2014, 09:25:42 PM

Title: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 11, 2014, 09:25:42 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bntfUA6TmLs

So there I was, sitting in Starbucks, enjoying my Monster Energy Drink when suddenly the craving for infant flesh and burning down churches consumed me......

Oh wait- I'm an atheist. That's normal. :think:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Hydra009 on November 11, 2014, 09:56:36 PM
A very similar version of the phi symbol also appears as the Phyrexian symbol in Magic The Gathering.

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tKvcj8yua30/TocBXSgEeLI/AAAAAAAAAL8/oDEc8bThhPk/s400/mtg__banishment_decree_by_namesjames-d387nxk.jpg)

So in actuality, Monster energy drinks declare their allegiance to Yawgmoth the Ineffiable, not Satan.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: kilodelta on November 11, 2014, 10:35:57 PM
I used to have a collection of different Monster cans on my desk. I now know why I couldn't control my urges to sacrifice goats and use their blood to spray down the office strippers. It cleared up when I threw all those cans in the recycling bin. I'm now back to normal where I spray down the office strippers with regular old beer.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 11, 2014, 10:59:29 PM
Quote from: kilodelta on November 11, 2014, 10:35:57 PM
I used to have a collection of different Monster cans on my desk. I now know why I couldn't control my urges to sacrifice goats and use their blood to spray down the office strippers. It cleared up when I threw all those cans in the recycling bin. I'm now back to normal where I spray down the office strippers with regular old beer.

As long as its inexpensive and readily available beer. Beer is sacred to Gomgoth the Destroyer.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Munch on November 12, 2014, 02:04:15 AM
Satan's sexy, so I'm good with this
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on November 12, 2014, 08:26:33 AM
OMG OMG OMG! SHE'S WEARING MIXED FIBERS AND HER HEAD ISN'T COVERED! Obviously witchcraft.. :lol:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: kilodelta on November 12, 2014, 08:59:30 AM
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on November 12, 2014, 08:26:33 AM
OMG OMG OMG! SHE'S WEARING MIXED FIBERS AND HER HEAD ISN'T COVERED! Obviously witchcraft.. :lol:

... I don't believe she got her husband's permission.

3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on November 12, 2014, 09:10:41 AM
Quote from: kilodelta on November 12, 2014, 08:59:30 AM
... I don't believe she got her husband's permission.

3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
That bitch! Call Ted Cruz immediately!
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Desdinova on November 12, 2014, 09:11:14 AM
These are the types of people that 300 to 500 years ago were torturing and burning people alive.  Yep, we're an evil fucking species alright.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Solitary on November 12, 2014, 09:33:31 AM
A good example of top down thinking, unfortunately used by some scientists too.  :wall:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 12, 2014, 09:42:02 AM
Quote from: Solitary on November 12, 2014, 09:33:31 AM
A good example of top down thinking, unfortunately used by some scientists too.  :wall:

Or an entire argument based on a false premise.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: PickelledEggs on November 12, 2014, 09:44:13 AM
"And the devil laughs" ...

She looked like she thought she was so clever when she saw that. Maybe she's the devil.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on November 12, 2014, 01:01:52 PM
Notice how Satan deceives us.. Note the absence of the letter F THREE TIMES (F being the 6th letter in the alphabet) in the name Maxwell House AND neither word Maxwell NOR House has 6 letters? :eek: The only conclusion that can be drawn here is coffee is satanic! (http://i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q490/atheola/IMG_20141112_125219.jpg)
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: kilodelta on November 12, 2014, 01:40:09 PM
Mother of the Goat God! Satan is fooling us into drinking his coffee by not including his marks on it. Monster must be good so the Devil put his mark on that so that we won't drink it!
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: aitm on November 12, 2014, 02:10:50 PM
I am sure she doesn't work when she is "in her way".....oh wait. who the fuck we kidding, that bitch can't hold down a fuckin job she's nuts.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 12, 2014, 02:17:26 PM
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on November 12, 2014, 01:01:52 PM
Notice how Satan deceives us.. Note the absence of the letter F THREE TIMES (F being the 6th letter in the alphabet) in the name Maxwell House AND neither word Maxwell NOR House has 6 letters? :eek: The only conclusion that can be drawn here is coffee is satanic! (http://i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q490/atheola/IMG_20141112_125219.jpg)

And don't forget the barcodes. MUHAHAHAAAAAA........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRQQe1SRDNE
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 12, 2014, 02:39:29 PM
Quote from: aitm on November 12, 2014, 02:10:50 PM
I am sure she doesn't work when she is "in her way".....oh wait. who the fuck we kidding, that bitch can't hold down a fuckin job she's nuts.

And don't forget, Aitm, that having a 2 year degree in theology trumps a doctorate in history, physics, biology, mathematics, astronomy..... you name it.

Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on November 12, 2014, 02:54:46 PM
Quote from: aitm on November 12, 2014, 02:10:50 PM
I am sure she doesn't work when she is "in her way".....oh wait. who the fuck we kidding, that bitch can't hold down a fuckin job she's nuts.
Admit it.. You have the hots for her and want to trick her with candy.. :lol:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Munch on November 12, 2014, 03:20:38 PM
(http://www.comprendes-mallorca.de/uploads/pics/haribo_gummibaeren.jpg)

Your notice, that in this pile of gummy bears, it contains red gummy bears. Now as we all know red is the color of the devil, because devils are red, like satan was in the movie legend (and no that wasn't tim curry, it was the actual devil).
Now if we take into account the nutritional value of gummy bears, we can find the devils hand print

(http://i.imgur.com/34eXFTd.jpg)

as the numbers clearly show, the nutritional value contains the numbers 6 6 6 in three different areas, and a fourth 6 showing the son of the devil, meaning the product is marketed to children by the devil!
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Green Bottle on November 12, 2014, 04:40:15 PM
You mean that bitch in the video was being serious, nofuckingway jose... :shifty: :surprised:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: _Xenu_ on November 12, 2014, 07:00:58 PM
Quote from: Hydra009 on November 11, 2014, 09:56:36 PM
A very similar version of the phi symbol also appears as the Phyrexian symbol in Magic The Gathering.

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tKvcj8yua30/TocBXSgEeLI/AAAAAAAAAL8/oDEc8bThhPk/s400/mtg__banishment_decree_by_namesjames-d387nxk.jpg)

So in actuality, Monster energy drinks declare their allegiance to Yawgmoth the Ineffiable, not Satan.
Just out of curiosity, whats going on with Phyrexia these days?
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: PickelledEggs on November 12, 2014, 07:10:22 PM
I actually think it would be pretty awesome if it the guys that made the logo for Monster made it so it looked like Hebrew's characters for 666. It's totally plausible that they did make it look like they meant it that way on purpose, while also looking like claw marks.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 12, 2014, 08:38:35 PM
Quote from: Green Bottle on November 12, 2014, 04:40:15 PM
You mean that bitch in the video was being serious, nofuckingway jose... :shifty: :surprised:

Unfortunately she is. This is the level of drooling mental dystopia we deal with in the US.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: MagetheEntertainer on November 12, 2014, 09:00:20 PM
And it never once crossed her mind that monster's design is so edgy for sales purposes.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Munch on November 13, 2014, 08:46:58 AM
Quote from: MagetheEntertainer on November 12, 2014, 09:00:20 PM
And it never once crossed her mind that monster's design is so edgy for sales purposes.
I think trying to rationalize with these kind of people is like trying to scratch the middle of your back with your teeth.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Solitary on November 13, 2014, 09:53:12 AM
It never crosses one's mind when they cross their heart, because ignorance is bliss.  :lol:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 13, 2014, 10:22:36 AM
So.....Satan is this celestial intellect, a fallen angel, the chosen of god who turned against him; bound and determined to bring down mankind by using--- bar codes and Monster energy drink cans. Makes perfect sense.   :think:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Munch on November 13, 2014, 12:18:21 PM
Quote from: stromboli on November 13, 2014, 10:22:36 AM
So.....Satan is this celestial intellect, a fallen angel, the chosen of god who turned against him; bound and determined to bring down mankind by using--- bar codes and Monster energy drink cans. Makes perfect sense.   :think:

Satans a rather creative bugger when it comes to the downfall of mankind. He also made the 'fags' and 'negros' as part of his army, made porn his shield and made children believing in santa instead of jesus his shroud.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Hydra009 on November 13, 2014, 01:14:52 PM
Quote from: _Xenu_ on November 12, 2014, 07:00:58 PMJust out of curiosity, whats going on with Phyrexia these days?
It's a blasted shell of its former glory, at least partially destroyed by the Nine Titans.  It's unknown if any of its inhabitants survived, but Phyrexians got a foothold in Mirrodin and created a New Phyrexia there, so the phyrexians are still very much alive even though their home plane is effectively annihilated.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: _Xenu_ on November 13, 2014, 05:36:09 PM
Quote from: Hydra009 on November 13, 2014, 01:14:52 PM
It's a blasted shell of its former glory, at least partially destroyed by the Nine Titans.  It's unknown if any of its inhabitants survived, but Phyrexians got a foothold in Mirrodin and created a New Phyrexia there, so the phyrexians are still very much alive even though their home plane is effectively annihilated.
Did Urza survive the war? Was he ever reunited with his brother?
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Solitary on November 13, 2014, 05:53:55 PM
This is a response to this from my Christian friend: OH MAN!!! Too funny. Is this reaching for something that was never intended!!? Hebrew label, cross upside down, release the Beast? These people need to get a life. I've never had the drink but that's not why. I like Coke, Peps, or Gatorade brother Butch. How about you?
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on November 13, 2014, 07:54:24 PM
Quote from: stromboli on November 13, 2014, 10:22:36 AM
So.....Satan is this celestial intellect, a fallen angel, the chosen of god who turned against him; bound and determined to bring down mankind by using--- bar codes and Monster energy drink cans. Makes perfect sense.   :think:
So instead of making me filthy rich and ruler of some kingdom all he can offer is a fucking monster drink? Well I'm impressed.. :lol:
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: stromboli on November 13, 2014, 11:33:41 PM
The word that comes to mind is "extrapolate"; this broad is extrapolatin' the shit out of the Monster energy logo.
Title: Re: Once Again, Satan Is Invading Your Life !
Post by: Hydra009 on November 13, 2014, 11:51:18 PM
Quote from: _Xenu_ on November 13, 2014, 05:36:09 PM
Did Urza survive the war? Was he ever reunited with his brother?
No and maybe (he found his brother in the heart of Phyrexia, which wasn't a very gentle place, but it could've been illusory and Mishra actually died in the Sylex blast from the Brothers' War)