My depression

[Jannabear]

Oh please you two, get a podiatrist…..lol…get it? LOLOLOL



sometimes I crack me up.

I've had a streamer ask me for feet pics in front of a 1000 people.

[Johan]

WARNING: You may well know everything I'm about to say. But I'm going to say it anyway because its all true.

I had undiagnosed chronic depression from my very early teens until my late thirties. Then I had a diagnosis, or at least a self-diagnosis which is to say I came to grips with the fact that I was a guy who had depression stuff going on. Through professional help I came to realize my depressive state stretched back into my earliest memories of childhood and therefore was chronic. But after that professional help as well as a fair amount of my own internal work I'm comfortable saying that I'm in a very good place. I'm reluctant to say that I'm cured only because I have my doubts that anyone with chronic depression can ever really say with confidence that they're fully cured. That's just how depression is. But with the tools and experience I now have, I can confidently say that I will never again be as crippled as I once was.

But that's me and you may well be thinking that as far as you're concerned I could be some sort of superhero or at the very least someone who isn't you. Fair point. Just because I did it, doesn't mean you can do it.

But here is what my path has taught me that neither you nor anyone else can deny.  These things you're thinking and/or feeling that are making you feel the way you do are the result of chemicals flowing in your brain and nothing more. And tomorrow or the next day or possibly the day after that, the chemicals in your brain will be different and you will no longer feel exactly the way you do right now. Don't get me wrong, those chemicals are some powerful shit and they can alter your reality in very profound ways. To be sure, anyone who could patent a way to harness those chemicals could easily buy their own island and retire to long life of unending alcohol and prostitutes. Good high end call girl type prostitutes, not the cheap street walker crack head variety but I digress.

Anyway if you've hung with me this far, here is the bottom line that I'm sure of. There is a way back from this. It may not be easy. It may not be painless. But it is always there and more importantly, it is always worth it. Keep your chin up. Don't be afraid to reach out for help when you need it no matter how many times that might have failed in the past. And above all keep on swinging. If you bail, you let the chemicals win. Fuck those chemicals. Fuck em' all.

[Jannabear]

My doctor raised my estradiol to 2mg, so I'm finally going to have some changes I'm extremely happy rn.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Something Johan and myself kind of pointed at is something you need to learn is to become comfortable living in your own skin. It ain't easy. Hell, life ain't easy and nobody ever said it is, but you only have one life and one skin to live it in.
I wish I had a nickel for every failed suicide attempt of mine, but I'm fairly confident that I'm able to close that chapter of life and move on.
I have no clue if the depression will return or not and it probably will from time to time, but at least now I know that it doesn't last forever,  it just feels like it lasts forever.  Soldier on..

[Jannabear]

Something Johan and myself kind of pointed at is something you need to learn is to become comfortable living in your own skin. It ain't easy. Hell, life ain't easy and nobody ever said it is, but you only have one life and one skin to live it in.
I wish I had a nickel for every failed suicide attempt of mine, but I'm fairly confident that I'm able to close that chapter of life and move on.
I have no clue if the depression will return or not and it probably will from time to time, but at least now I know that it doesn't last forever,  it just feels like it lasts forever.  Soldier on..

Saying "living in your own skin" to someone who's transgender is a retarded statement.
Unless you meant living in general.

[aitm]

Saying "living in your own skin" to someone who's transgender is a retarded statement.

well...this has the makings of a delightful conversation....

[Jannabear]

well...this has the makings of a delightful conversation....

Sorry, I was being rude.

[aitm]

It is a step up that you recognized and admitted it.

[Johan]

Saying "living in your own skin" to someone who's transgender is a retarded statement.
Unless you meant living in general.

Why? Does being transgender involve some sort of skin transplant process that I don't know about? Its still your skin moron. Why did I just call you a moron? Because immediately referring to anyone or anything you disagree with as being fucking retarded (something you do often) is something that moron does. Now stop being a fucking moron you fucking moron.

[Hijiri Byakuren]

Why? Does being transgender involve some sort of skin transplant process that I don't know about?

Yes, but it has to be the skin of a virgin taken on the day of the first period, bathed in her own menstrual fluids, and imbued with her spirit by the Holy Transgender Necromancers.


Fair and balanced (like Fox News).

[aitm]

Yes, but it has to be the skin of a virgin taken on the day of the first period, bathed in her own menstrual fluids, and imbued with her spirit by the Holy Transgender Necromancers.

that kinda gave me a boner….

[Johan]

Yes, but it has to be the skin of a virgin taken on the day of the first period, bathed in her own menstrual fluids, and imbued with her spirit by the Holy Transgender Necromancers.

Oh yeah, I don't know how I could of forgotten about that. Also helps explain why genderl reassignment can be so expensive. Virgin skin soaked in its own menstrual fluids doesn't exactly grow on trees these days.

[Hijiri Byakuren]

that kinda gave me a boner….

Yeah, my mind goes to strange places when I'm tired.

Oh yeah, I don't know how I could of forgotten about that. Also helps explain why genderl reassignment can be so expensive. Virgin skin soaked in its own menstrual fluids doesn't exactly grow on trees these days.

Not to mention finding a good necromancer is like finding an honest chiropractor. You have to sift through so many shills just to find one that's honest about what they're really doing, it's almost not worth the effort.

[Jannabear]

Why? Does being transgender involve some sort of skin transplant process that I don't know about? Its still your skin moron. Why did I just call you a moron? Because immediately referring to anyone or anything you disagree with as being fucking retarded (something you do often) is something that moron does. Now stop being a fucking moron you fucking moron.

I said that if that's what he meant that statement is retarded.
And he didn't.

[Johan]

Obviously he didn't. And yet, you felt the need to lash out anyway just in case I suppose. Here's the thing you should try to keep in mind about creating a thread like this in a place like this. These responses you're getting? They're from real live people who are taking the time to read your comments, process them and then making the effort to write responses that they genuinely feel may help. When you then act like an asshole in return, either because you feel being transgender gives you a right to (it doesn't) or being depressed gives you a right to (it doesn't) or being you gives you a right to (it doesn't), you make all of these people that much less likely to want to engage with you or help you from here on out.

If that's your goal then by all means, have at it Scheckie. But remember that you're getting what you're asking for.