Being an atheist is like...

[TomFoolery]

My entire family belongs to one Christian denomination or another, with the exception of my cousin. I have almost no friends/acquaintances who are atheists, and the ones who claim to be are... not the nicest people.

Anyway, I was talking with my cousin about how isolating it feels sometimes, and he said being an atheist is like having moderately aggressive cancer. People don't know how to act around you so they mostly just avoid you, but when they inevitably run across you, they act super fake.

I agree with the sentiment, but to me, being an atheist is more like being the gay kid in a powerful, conservative political family. They don't know whether to embrace you or shun you because of what other people might think.

What is being an atheist like to you, in terms of your personal relationships?

[SGOS]

I don't advertise it.  I'm good friends with a Christian fundamentalist couple, who know I'm an atheist.  Their beliefs are wacky as heck, but they are thoughtful and kind to me.  They said they didn't want to hear about my atheism.  It was an odd thing to say, because I never expressed a desire or tendency to tell them about it.   In fact, they heard about my atheism from someone else.

But their unsolicited comment is both telling and alarming.  They obviously don't want to be exposed to such a contrary idea.  They are not interested in why I'm an atheist, or what atheism even means to me.  This alarms me because it's dangerously closed minded.  It's an attitude that with lesser people leads to serious misunderstanding and harm.

Not that it makes much difference, but most atheists in the US have a keen understanding of Christianity.  We are bombarded with it as they constantly jabber about their faith.  Many of us were former Christians, and many of us know more about their religion than they do.  We probably know more about other religions than they do.

But they don't want to have any knowledge about a point of view outside their own.  In all my life, I have had only Christian, just one (1), even ask me why I was an atheist.  Excluding other perspectives seems rather unintellectual, and one of the worst aspects of such intentional ignorance is the harm it causes.

[Unbeliever]

I don't advertise it.

Yeah, me too. I don't exactly hide it, but I don't bandy it about, either. And since the subject of religion hardly ever comes up, I don't have to worry about it. I don't know anyone who's very religious anyway - I try to stay well away from fundies. The only place I ever argue about religion is places like this fine establishment. I feel bad for those who are stuck in the most churchified places.

[Munch]

I'm sorry to hear what your going though dude. Its funny how if your an atheist, you've come to your own atheistic beliefs on your own, where as if your gay your just born that way. But regardless, if your gay, you could either be born into an open minded and expressive family that supports it, or an conservative family that doesn't, and since your almost never likely to be born in a gay family, its always a lone trip until you meet other gay guys.
Being an atheist, your either born into a family with no real religious ties, or one with any number of religious thinking, and unlike if your born gay, being an atheist in such a household means you came to your own thoughts on theistic beliefs, and that takes some serious focus to come to that on your own.

[Givemeareason]

My entire family belongs to one Christian denomination or another, with the exception of my cousin. I have almost no friends/acquaintances who are atheists, and the ones who claim to be are... not the nicest people.

Anyway, I was talking with my cousin about how isolating it feels sometimes, and he said being an atheist is like having moderately aggressive cancer. People don't know how to act around you so they mostly just avoid you, but when they inevitably run across you, they act super fake.

I agree with the sentiment, but to me, being an atheist is more like being the gay kid in a powerful, conservative political family. They don't know whether to embrace you or shun you because of what other people might think.

What is being an atheist like to you, in terms of your personal relationships?

I don't advertise that I am an athiest.  I go around mingling wit the religious and when I engage someone on religion I still don't tell them.  Telling them that ends our ability to interract.  By bot doing so I can engage them in all sorts of thoughtful topics.

[TomFoolery]

I've never advertised I'm an atheist either. In fact it all started really innocuously on Facebook. My sister posted some dippy inspiration quote from Albert Camus and I pointed out that he was an existentialist atheist. She immediately messaged me to ask me what my problem is. She's been going through this really pious time lately and I've been mum on the whole issue. Well, after a short discussion about it, my lack of religion just sort of came out. That led to her unfriending me on Facebook, telling my whole family, which prompted a lot of calls over concern for my soul, and now, I'm largely ostracized except for my mom who continues to cry about it and my dad who has always been a "whatever floats your boat" kind of guy.

I had a feeling most of my family sort of sensed I wasn't religious at all, but never asked questions. In hindsight, I realize it was like I was living some sort of double life. If I could take it back, I would. But at the same time, why do I have to feel so ashamed? I don't really feel ashamed, but I feel like I should? Does that make sense?

[the_antithesis]

...immaterial.

Honestly, the subject rarely comes up unless I bring it up, so I don't bring it up and we have a nice time.

[SGOS]

I've never advertised I'm an atheist either. In fact it all started really innocuously on Facebook. My sister posted some dippy inspiration quote from Albert Camus and I pointed out that he was an existentialist atheist. She immediately messaged me to ask me what my problem is. She's been going through this really pious time lately and I've been mum on the whole issue. Well, after a short discussion about it, my lack of religion just sort of came out. That led to her unfriending me on Facebook, telling my whole family, which prompted a lot of calls over concern for my soul, and now, I'm largely ostracized except for my mom who continues to cry about it and my dad who has always been a "whatever floats your boat" kind of guy.

I'm sorry, but I just had to laugh at the chaos that results in some families over stuff.  And when it involves concern over you soul, well that makes me laugh even more.  "Hey everybody, Tom is going over to the dark side.  His soul is in danger.  We need to have an intervention right away."

[Mike Cl]

I've never advertised I'm an atheist either. In fact it all started really innocuously on Facebook. My sister posted some dippy inspiration quote from Albert Camus and I pointed out that he was an existentialist atheist. She immediately messaged me to ask me what my problem is. She's been going through this really pious time lately and I've been mum on the whole issue. Well, after a short discussion about it, my lack of religion just sort of came out. That led to her unfriending me on Facebook, telling my whole family, which prompted a lot of calls over concern for my soul, and now, I'm largely ostracized except for my mom who continues to cry about it and my dad who has always been a "whatever floats your boat" kind of guy.

I had a feeling most of my family sort of sensed I wasn't religious at all, but never asked questions. In hindsight, I realize it was like I was living some sort of double life. If I could take it back, I would. But at the same time, why do I have to feel so ashamed? I don't really feel ashamed, but I feel like I should? Does that make sense?

Yes, that makes sense.  And you should not feel ashamed.  But it is difficult being branded by family as being the 'outcast' one.  I've had to watch my mouth around my brother-in-law.  He is a Catholic and at one time he was studying to be a deacon.  He is changing his mind a bit about this religion, but I keep quiet.  I'd talk about it if he brought up the subject, but I'd go lightly anyway.  Keeping the peace in the family seems worth it.  But, at times, it just flat pisses me off that they can talk about anything and say what they want because it is accepted since they are 'sincerely religious', as though atheists cannot be sincere.  Maybe my mouth won't be kept quiet much longer???? :))  If you hear of an explosion around Modesto, CA, that will have been me. :))

[TomFoolery]

I'm sorry, but I just had to laugh at the chaos that results in some families over stuff.  And when it involves concern over you soul, well that makes me laugh even more.  "Hey everybody, Tom is going over to the dark side.  His soul is in danger.  We need to have an intervention right away."

I'm actually female. :) It's my fault, I've used this username on most forums since I was like 12 and it was supposed to be a play on the word tomfoolery but its led to honest confusion about my gender. But I agree, the whole "call in the cavalry, we have a non-believer in the fold!" mentality is... sad.

The way my mom has been going on about it, you'd think I murdered someone. Lines like "You weren't raised this way" and "What made you decide to do this" could easily be conceived in some sort of setting where I was wearing a jumpsuit and we were talking to each other on phones while staring at each other through bulletproof glass.

[drunkenshoe]

[Sometimes] Being an atheist is like being a spectator watching seperate masses of people trying to move in different speeds in space-time towards an indestructible wall called reality.

[Mermaid]

Anything you put on Facebook is advertising. I find it to be a very bad idea to post anything like that on Facebook, and I avoid it very carefully--including "likes" and shares. I have come up with good diversion tactics to thwart the direct question. 

[Green Bottle]

Where i live, being an Atheist is no big deal really, most of the people i know or meet dont care either way if you believe or not...........

[Aletheia]

I've found it easier to be openly bisexual than to admit to being an atheist.

However, the term "nonreligious" or "searching for my own path in life" goes over so much nicer than atheist. Just remember Christians are very big on labels and not so much on the definitions of those labels. If you want peace at home it might be best to tell your mom that the jury is still out on the whole "god" concept and you want to figure things out on your own. You mother will still have a sense of hope and you'll have some personal space.

It sucks, but I've had to play such childish games just to get along in life.

[SGOS]

Just remember Christians are very big on labels and not so much on the definitions of those labels.

Ha!