Probably nebulous, any title would be misleading

[ahplshutup]

Hello, this is my first post. I'm not an important person with an exceptionally high qualification. I'm new to atheism. I've had different approaches, I call "crumbs" which have revolved around 2 religions which I'd say have eventually led me to atheism. I've just felt weird about things and they way they exist pretty much.

So this is how I think the events of my conversions are taking place:
-Christianity
-Progressive Judaism
-Deism
-Agnosticism
-Implicit Atheism
-Explicit Atheism
-Existential nihilism
-It really doesn't matter. I'm not sure what I am, and I'm probably not bothered really

It's quite a haste sequence of "events". Reminds me of a domino effect because, I think I "used" Judaism to let go of the jesus  thing which I'd grown up in. Deism was sort of a way to disrobe myself completely off of religion. During this point, I really started thinking for myself and building my own set of morals. Opposed to adopting religious ones, I repudiated the many I had endorsed.

Realizing the freedom of thought I now had,  questioning existence and religion became so progressive for me that I began doubting the likelihood of there being an actual god.
After all the reading, about the bible, the torah, having experienced both church and  shul (synagogue) and putting the effort of observing what was required and having played the role of a very dedicated candidate of the two religions, I felt it all systematic, restricting, tiring. And I imagined it was all the same with all religions. Because they all offer requirements. I think religion is one of those systems that  train our involuntary minds to think a certain way opposed to our own.
So, eventually the idea just kept growing on me, that no matter what, the concept of religion and "god" wasn't making any sense to me. No matter how much I'dve liked to think it, it still did not equate.

Strangely, god sort of became an Innocent fantasy crook to me because despite the oxymoron, ironically, i do believe god is, undeniably, a man-made entity. The idea of god and why this higher power  "spirit man" is what he is today, in my opinion, clearly detects the early desperate need for closure in man. People don't want not to know, why things are the way they are. It's like the ocd in the genetics of the human race. Just how there's always hunger for knowledge. I like to think whoever created this god, was to make existence more "meaningful" to them and to try to pretend to make themselves understand the purpose of their existence and the existence of others, hence religion.

Now, I don't know what I consider myself. If I said both agnostic and an implicit atheist I would think that still makes me agnostic anyways. If that was the case then, I would think I wasn't too far from explicit atheism, and not too near it either considering the  "crumbs" I spoke of earlier

I've read stuff on science, and I am honestly for whatever there's proof for obviously_but as for "where that atom came from"_and all the latter that may follow from those advanced experiments which I do believe will lead to yet another source which surely must have come from another undiscovered source, I still strongly believe that, for as long as we can imagine the possibilities, the farther away it is from actually being what it is or what we think it is. So I don't now what that makes me.

Ultimately, i guess i just find myself utterly disgusted sometimes, how people can be tricked into thinking a certain way and be too afraid. To me, the influence of religion is the foremost gag inducing system (which follows a few) that 'exists' because I think it's made humans so afraid of nothing. We're so confined and generations and generations are going to absolute waste each and every time because of this dominant organization that limits our free will to think beyond and against what we know.

[Mike Cl]

I like the way you think, ahplshutup! 

[ahplshutup]

Thanks for at least seeing what I mean, Mike CI

[stromboli]

Now, I don't know what I consider myself. If I said both agnostic and an implicit atheist I would think that still makes me agnostic anyways. If that was the case then, I would think I wasn't too far from explicit atheism, and not too near it either considering the  "crumbs" I spoke of earlier

I've read stuff on science, and I am honestly for whatever there's proof for obviously_but as for "where that atom came from"_and all the latter that may follow from those advanced experiments which I do believe will lead to yet another source which surely must have come from another undiscovered source, I still strongly believe that, for as long as we can imagine the possibilities, the farther away it is from actually being what it is or what we think it is. So I don't now what that makes me.

Ultimately, i guess i just find myself utterly disgusted sometimes, how people can be tricked into thinking a certain way and be too afraid. To me, the influence of religion is the foremost gag inducing system (which follows a few) that 'exists' because I think it's made humans so afraid of nothing. We're so confined and generations and generations are going to absolute waste each and every time because of this dominant organization that limits our free will to think beyond and against what we know.

Welcome. This is actually a fairly typical progression from religious to not religious. How you identify will probably change- I started out with religious, agnostic, deist, then agnostic atheist to hard atheist and now I define myself as a secular humanist. The more you learn the more you are able to clarify your place in the universe. The main thing is that you have exercised critical thinking and arrived at your viewpoint because of it.

[Mike Cl]

We are all in the same boat.  We have to make it make sense to us.  For me, critical thinking is what gets me there.  I like to think I look at issues from as many sides as I can find, and then come to some conclusion.  That usually entails reasoning.  The scientific method can't be beat in my book.  All theistic beliefs boil down to one key element--you have to 'believe' no matter what the evidence shows us.  And almost always there is somebody telling us what the correct belief is--and they have a hand out for you to give them money.  And they will tell you not to think, for thinking is not required.  If you don't want to go to hell and if you don't want to die forever, then you must believe.

[ahplshutup]

It's great being here, with like minded people. There's nothing more important than critical thinking. Independent critical thinking that is. We're so governed and adjusted by set systems that no longer allow us to live by own organic minds and hearts, but by this inescapable composition of a genetic evolutionary "manual" of mankind_I like to call it manual when I'm usually thinking

[ahplshutup]

It's great being here, with like minded people. There's nothing more important than critical thinking. Independent critical thinking that is. We're so governed and adjusted by set systems that no longer allow us to live by own organic minds and hearts, but by this inescapable composition of a genetic evolutionary "manual" of mankind_I like to call it a  manual when I'm usually thinking

[Desdinova]

As Hitchens said, religion poisons everything.  Welcome aboard, friend.

[ahplshutup]

As Hitchens said, religion poisons everything.  Welcome aboard, friend.

Thanks Desdinova, I like Hitchins

[stromboli]

Thanks Desdinova, I like Hitchins

Something's up. We've had a lot of new atheists join recently. In the past it has been Bible college students on Spring break out to convert us.......

[ahplshutup]

Something's up. We've had a lot of new atheists join recently. In the past it has been Bible college students on Spring break out to convert us.......

Really? Ah, that's so laughable. Sounds so unsuccessful_ and a little bit sad as well.

[stromboli]

Really? Ah, that's so laughable. Sounds so unsuccessful_ and a little bit sad as well.

Nothing quite like a starry eyed theist full of gospel fire getting their reality stomped on by the facts.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

No doubt about it.. You'll burn in H E double dirty Q-tips®..

[Solitary]

Welcome aboard ahplshutup! There is nothing so precious as being free of pain or control of yourself. Solitary

[Unbeliever]

Welcome! Glad you could make the scene!

Now, I don't know what I consider myself. If I said both agnostic and an implicit atheist I would think that still makes me agnostic anyways. If that was the case then, I would think I wasn't too far from explicit atheism, and not too near it either considering the  "crumbs" I spoke of earlier.

Agnosticism and atheism aren't mutually exclusive: the former is about knowledge, while the latter is about belief.