A Cabana Boy’s Journey

[Cabanaboy1313]

So I grew up Lutheran attending church every Sunday.   Going to Sunday school like every other person in my hometown of 3500 in southern Wisconsin.  I married a catholic gal from the Big City.  Her aunt was an Ex-Nun.  (So apparently you can marry Jesus and then divorce him.)  Strange her Aunt still attended weekly catholic mass.   I started attending catholic churches every Sunday morning with my wife.  But now I could also attend Saturday mass instead of only Sundays, if I wanted to.  (So much for “Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy” just go when it works best with our schedule.) 

We had a son and sent him to a Catholic parochial school k-6 and then off to an all-boys Catholic military school for 7-12.  During the years we were attending the Catholic Church my son went to for K-6 they got a new priest.  Now this new priest was a former Lutheran pastor.   The “Father” is married and has children.  So that Catholic Church had a married with children Catholic Priest. (So much for Catholic Priest can’t marry.  Oh wait they can’t marry IF they are a priest.  However if they are Married and then become a Priest that’s Okay.)   I tried to hold my marriage together so finally after 22 years of Marriage I converted to Catholicism.  Just a few side notes about my ultra-catholic ex-wife.  1) I believe she was in love with one of the priests from the church we attended the last few years of our marriage.  The emails I discovers that she sent to him while he was on sabbatical at Oxford were quit lengthy and personal without actually being love letters.  2) During our marriage she traveled to Italy to sing for the Pope.  3) I believe because of comments she has made in the past, that she feels that women in general and she in particular are just like “Mary” and “blessed is the fruit of her womb” but she just deleted “fruit of”.   She decided it was “blessed is her womb”.   Add in catholic guilt and you get sex is dirty.   For various reasons besides the fact that my Ex-wife is a catholic fanatic, I got a divorce.   

I am now on a journey from being a Lutheran/catholic to being something else.   I am not sure what that is exactly.   I am drifting between Naturalist, Humanist, Deist, Agonistic, and Atheist.  The path for me is very fluid because I slide between the 5, sometimes daily.  I am not sure where this journey will stop, but I know I had an awakening when my marriage was crashing.   Logic and enlightenment have replaced superstation and fairytales.   Finding this forum is helping my path.   

[aitm]

welcome to our little "womb".

[Desdinova]

Welcome aboard Cabanaboy!  I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

[PickelledEggs]

Welcome, Cabanaboy!

Transition from hard-set beliefs to a more objective standpoint can be very trying time, but don't worry!


I hope you enjoy your stay!

[Solitary]

Welcome aboard Cabanaboy1313! I'm married to a Catholic that has an uncle that is a priest, a cousin that is a priest, and a cousin that is a nun. But my wife is not Church going, but still has all the garbage attached to her that you describe. We have always gotten along well, and still do, because she is the easiest going person I have ever known. So I know what you mean. I have always been an atheists since I was six years old. My mother sent me to her Methodist church, the one that likes to   burn crosses in people's yards, and the pastor banged my head on to the desk top I was sitting at leaving a goose egg. I don't have a problem with people's religion unless it is organized and gets involved in politics.  Or the people that take it so serious they use it to hate and cause harm. I can only tell you that without reliable evidence, it seems that all religions are myths based on hearsay, and superstitious nonsense in my opinion.

Solitary

[stromboli]

I am now on a journey from being a Lutheran/catholic to being something else.   I am not sure what that is exactly.   I am drifting between Naturalist, Humanist, Deist, Agonistic, and Atheist.  The path for me is very fluid because I slide between the 5, sometimes daily.  I am not sure where this journey will stop, but I know I had an awakening when my marriage was crashing.   Logic and enlightenment have replaced superstation and fairytales.   Finding this forum is helping my path.

Welcome. Many of us here have made similar journeys, including myself, out of Mormonism into Christianity and finally to atheism.

Atheism is just non belief in gods, period. Theists always try to make it into something larger, but that is it. As to whether you want to further define yourself or not, don't get anxious about it. the first place to start (for me) was realization that I am the center of my universe and the world is what I make of it. I think of it as the ability to do what I want and not be hampered by unproven ideologies that force their dictates on me.

Religion is about 4 things: fear, guilt, condemnation and judgment. Sin and hell and the adversarial embodiment of satan are fabrications with which to endow those elements, to both indoctrinate and intimidate you into behaving (according to their rules)
I for one don't think of myself as a herd member, a sheep. It is about choice and personal empowerment. By freeing yourself of that controlling environment, you open the door to explore your potentials and live your life as you see fit, not governed or dictated to by anyone.

[Cabanaboy1313]

Thank you Strom, Sol, Dnova, Aitm and Peggs.   It is great to find like minded individuals.  I find it hard to stomach the hypocrisy of the Holidays, the "war on Christmas" the USA materialistic nature of most people.  It will be nice to have this venue to help keep my sanity.

[stromboli]

Yeah. Don't forget that you can also celebrate Saturnalia (read: Toga!  Toga!) or midwinter solstice or even Festivus. Do your own thing, so to speak. The word "Yule" is Nordic for midwinter solstice, and the yule log, an entire tree either cut in pieces or burned over 12 days of the season, goes back centuries before xmas.  Party on, dudes!    :new_xmas:

[Green Bottle]

Afternoon Cabanaboy an Welcome........

[Desdinova]

Festivus!  I just setup my pole yesterday!  What a coincidence!  It's a Festivus Miracle!

[stromboli]

[Cabanaboy1313]

Thanksgiving in the Bible Belt.   

So the CabanaBoy spent Thanksgiving in South Carolina.   Me, My Gal, and her boys made a pilgrimage to visit her Father and Step-Monster for Thanksgiving.  We needed to make our way over the hills and through the woods to their gated community.   Now my Gal has said her Father was never a church goer or even religious when she was growing up.  Now that they are in the South things have changed.  A big part of their life now revolves around their church or at least their church friends.
I had never driven the back roads of the south before.  I was not aware that every 3 miles or so there would be a yellow road sign saying “Church”.   I would prefer a road sign saying “Bar”.   Growing up in Wisconsin there are as many Bars as there are churches.  In many small towns it 2 to 1 Bars to Churches. Her folks live in a Dry city.   Luckily they had plenty of wine for the visit.  We were shown the church they attend.  Something my Gal said was bizarre.   With very little to do her folks thought we would like to see the play the community theater was putting on.  A very religious Christmas play, with a lot of “witnessing”.    With only a 3 day visit it confirmed my belief that I could never live in the bible belt. 

[stromboli]

Yeah. South Carolina is another place I've removed from my "to visit" list. Utah is much the same way with Mormon churches. I grew up in a town with less than 3,000 people in it and we had 2 churches. They were only 4 blocks apart, and each church had multiple wards that belonged to it.