The Rise and Fall of Fappy, the Anti Masturbation Dolphin

[MagetheEntertainer]

Just a little recap of the friendly neighborhood anti masturbation dolphin, Fappy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MOo2CEnqc

Note, I do not know if this story is true or not, it is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously.

[Solitary]

Unfortunately this is a fact according to. http://www.bing.com/search?q=fappy+in+arizona%2C+true%3F&form=MSNH14&refig=65660919CD8F43718B4BDFBE52E93D56&pq=fappy&sc=8-5&sp=1&qs=HS&sk=

Phoenix, AZ â€" In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.



Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 35-year-old Paul Horner, was arrested on Sunday at Metta Yoga in Phoenix after employees notified police about a man with no pants on peering through office windows.



Tom Downey with the Phoenix Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with Arizona news station ABC 15 about the arrest. “We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was in town with a Christian organization aimed at talking with children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, ‘They need to stop playing on the Devil’s playground, stop pounding their Devil stick or ringing the Devil’s doorbell’,” Downey said. “Things got very odd when Horner broke down crying in the back of my cruiser and began making noises, kind of like a fish, saying that he believed himself to be an actual dolphin. It was really strange.”  I haven't seen this in our local news! I think it is a parody making fun of Christian teachings about masturbation being wrong. Solitary

New York, NY â€" Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and STOP Masturbation NOW are proud to announce a 31-city nationwide school tour focusing on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now said he is excited about the tour. “Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy® the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin kicked off his nationwide school tour at Pansy Kidd Middle School in Poteau, Oklahoma with a bang. While there, Fappy® answered questions and spoke to students about the dangers of masturbation.”

“The kids just love him,” said 64-year old Paul Horner who is a teacher at Pansy Kidd Middle School. “Fappy® makes the kids laugh and educates them at the same time. He also is quite the tickle monster and the children just love wrestling with him. We can’t wait for Fappy® to come back next year!”

“Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape,” Childs told reporters. “It leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease. This nationwide tour is designed to help make children and parents aware of the dangers of masturbation in and outside of the home. If your arms are long enough to touch your private areas, you are a possible suspect in raping yourself.” Childs continued, “God willing, one day masturbation will be illegal.”

Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and Stop Masturbation Now are federally funded programs designed to teach children and adults about the dangers of masturbation. For a complete list of dates and locations of this tour, click here. For more information or if you would like Fappy® to visit your child’s school please call the 24-hour Fappy® Nationwide School Tour Hotline.

◾Fappy® Nationwide School Tour Hotline: (785) 273-0325

 

[aitm]

wait...federally funded wtf?

[Solitary]

I believe it is not a true story, it was not on Phoenix News that I am aware of, but then again I wouldn't be that surprised either if it is true. Solitary

[Solitary]

Now I'm not sure: http://www.fappythemovie.com/ Solitary

[Hakurei Reimu]

Even if it's not true, it's a funny Poe.

[stromboli]

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/michael-moore-fappy-the-dolphin-film-hoax/

[PickelledEggs]

lol I like your videos.

[Hydra009]

Like Stromboli said, it's a fake.

Also, dolphins are an incredibly promiscuous species.  I mean they do it all.  The kinds of stuff that humans would get arrested for is pretty normal for a dolphin.  I'll just leave it at that.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I'm a serial self rapist.

Yeah, I can see masturbation being illegal because it has the potential to soften manly calloused hands and everyone knows the consequences of having soft hands.  Kinda makes you wonder about some of these peeps, eh?

[Fidel_Castronaut]

100% POE.

The fact that the dolphin is called Fappy...

[MagetheEntertainer]

lol I like your videos.

Thanks, you should subscribe to my Channel.

[PickelledEggs]

Thanks, you should subscribe to my Channel.

Maybe I will, Lois...  Maybe I will.

Sent from your mom

[stromboli]

I'm thinking a line of Fappy tshirts could do well.