Nixing the door-to-door Bible thumpers

[PringleTree]

My elderly mother came to live with me several years ago.  At least a couple times a month she had to shoo away J. Witnesses and others who arrived at my house to "spread the good news" while I was at work.  This led me to (with all do respect to the Five Man Electrical Band) get a nice all-weather metal sign stating "Private Property. No Religious Soliciting".  In the middle is the prohibition graphic of a Bible within a circle with a diagonal slash through it.  I placed it out at the end of my driveway.  This has totally done the trick in keeping away the undesirables. 

Anyone else had to resort to something similar?

[PickelledEggs]

I haven't, oddly enough. My house is right off the highway and we usually get a lot of people knocking on our door, but mostly it's to ask for directions or help because they're broken down on the highway.(it happens a lot less now that most people have cell phones)

There was only one person that I ever remember soliciting and it was to solicit info for solar powering the community... which my mom and I actually really appreciated.

[Jason Harvestdancer]

They no longer show up at my house.  That's because I asked them if they are going to Valhalla or Hel after they die.  I asked them if they will be fighting on the side of Odin AllFather and the Gods and the honored dead, or on the side of Loki and the Giants and the dishonored dead.

They were awfully confused by my questions.

[stromboli]

I just tell them I am a minion of the Lord High Beelzebub and if they don't leve immediately I will possess their children even unto the 4 the generation. If you have a rooster head, that helps.

[PickelledEggs]

If you live near a middle eastern community sometimes they have food markets that have whole dead skinned goats in the butcher section. I say buy one. Cut the head off and answers the door with its head in your hand. If it scared me, it will scare them

Just say you're in the middle of a ceremony. They'll understand.

Sent via your mom.

[Jason Harvestdancer]

When the JWs figured out what I was talking about (and it did take them a while) they said "Oh, that's mythology."

I responded by informing them that ALL religious text was mythology, and the question to be asked is which mythology - if any - is true.

They were very offended by that and insisted that they weren't talking about mythology but were talking about the bible.  Huh?

[Bibliofagus]

I always ask if they worship the god who is totally into human sacrifice.
Then they say: "no, we worship the god of jebus!"

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I prefer to take the high road in this kind of thing:

[SGOS]

I have the JWs stop by about every other year.  I live in the country and houses are too far apart for them to obtain a high rate of salvation per gallon.  I take their literature and they are on their way. Never had a discussion with them in the last 10 years.  The Baptists must keep them in line and consequently the JWs don't push that hard around here.

[stromboli]

I prefer to take the high road in this kind of thing:

I so totally want that sign.

[PringleTree]

I must admit that the first few weeks after I put up the sign, I half expected either to wake up and find someone had stolen it or that someone would complain to our homeowners association because they were offended by the Bible-prohibited graphic.  Pleasantly surprised that neither has occurred.

[Berati]

I had a couple of them show up at my door (with a child and that really bugs me) saying they had a message from god for me.
I asked them if it was an important message and of course they said yes so I then asked them why didn't god deliver it himself?

They just looked so confused. What are they going to say? That the omnipotent master of all space and time was busy? Lol

I told them I didn't want to deal with any middle men and asked them not to come back. Haven't seen them since.

[The Skeletal Atheist]

I hit on a couple of male missionaries. They didn't come back...

[Mermaid]

Tell them you have been "disfellowshipped" and you will be forever shunned and blacklisted by JWs. I don't think I have the balls to try it, but my husband does.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I so totally want that sign.

Print it out. I put mine in a document protector sleeve and tape it to the window next the target full of holes.