Does god need introduction?

[blargg]

God here saying hello. As most of you know he has many names, even more faces and he speaks many languages. It's for he works in mysterious ways. Also he can imagine you have many questions for him. He promises you they will all be answered in time.

[blargg]

I'm trying to make a selfie but can't figure out how to do it.

[Mr.Obvious]

Praise G...!
Wait a minute... God is supposed to know everything. But he can't figure out a selfie?!

Pssst, guys... I don't want make a big fuzz out of this... but I think this guy may be fake.

[blargg]

He actually is omniscient but he works in mysterious ways.

[JohnD]

Pssst, guys... I don't want make a big fuzz out of this... but I think this guy may be fake.

If he's a fake, then he must be God!

[blargg]

Help I'm being oppressed!

[Jason78]

Could God take a selfie so awful that even he wouldn't be able to post it?

[SGOS]

How come when I eat asparagus, my pee smells funny?

[Mister Agenda]

Hello God. This is Dean Winchester.

[leo]

Hey god how often do you crap and fart?

[stromboli]

And you might want to explain that 17 dead from tornadoes thingy. And a baby. Wow. 

[Solitary]

  God can't talk to me in person and has to use the internet... :fU:

[PickelledEggs]

If you are really god, what did I get for Christmas in 1986?

Also welcome, Help yourself to the crap and fart thread.

[stromboli]

Hey god how often do you crap and fart?

I worry about you, Leo. Oh, wait. No I don't.

[blargg]

If you are really god, what did I get for Christmas in 1986?

I delegated the christmas present stuff to someone else (obviously).