Finally admitted 'I am an Atheist' to myself

[renasimplified]

I finally said it, and it is relieving. I am not out yet though, or free of my religious prison. I still have family to contend with. I did tell my best friend, she was not negative, which helped. On the other hand, for April fools day I posted that I was an Atheist and through my family through the ringer. They acted like I hadn't said it, and no one confronted me, but later I found out they were all discussing this devastating news. They laughed when they realized it was April 1st... I mentally cried. I can't tell, and don't know if I'll ever be able to. My husband is an evangelical Christian, as I was when we were married. I have a degree in pastoral ministry, freeze. But husband dear has absolutely no respect for school, much less science. Our marriage has been based solely on beliefs... I screwed  up. I'm too logical and rational to accept what I once did. So that's why I am here. To have an outlet for my beliefs, and to hopefully find a few friends to keep me company. So hello!  Let's be friends!

[StupidWiz]

Welcome, you can always vent here, you're not alone. I know how it feels to "not fit in the box" any longer, people still assume you to be what you used to be. It's a sad predicament and sometimes really, really, hard to deal with. So, if you think you can't handle the possibility of being ostracized by your family and friends, well, you should keep faking it even though it's really hard to do.

Like I said, you can always vent here about the stupidity of your real life surroundings. :)

[renasimplified]

Thank you so much!

[Mr.Obvious]

Hi
I'm pretty new here myself, so it feels weird to welcome you, but welcome!
Sorry to hear about the struggle, but admitting it to yourself is a huge step, so take pride in that.

[SGOS]

Admitting it to yourself is probably more significant than admitting it to others.  Of course, others will wring their hands and carry on in a show of horrified desperation.  That's weird, considering you are the one whose soul is supposed to be at stake.  You are the one whose life will be changed.  But no, there you are; Quietly coming to terms with your own self awareness, while the insanity around you never ceases.  Go figure.

Welcome.

[aitm]

welcome to our humble haven of hospitable heathens.

[Sal1981]

Hello, infrequent poster here.

[Solitary]

  Welcome aboard renasimplified! Solitary

[Brian37]

I am lucky my Catholic mother merely at the time I came out wasn't as angry although she thought it was a phase, that was back in the mid 90s. But many here have and or still do have to contend with fearful family and community. But like others have said you are NOT alone.

[Sargon The Grape]

Welcome to the Dark Side.

[Mister Agenda]

Welcome. That's a big step, and can be stressful in an evangelical family. I hope you can get through this with your most important relationships intact. Either way, we're here for you, as much as people can be on the interwebz.

[doorknob]

Welcome

I also struggle with family members. But I openly admit to being an atheist except to my grandfather because I think it might kill him.

[leo]

Welcome . Religion is bullshit.

[scroyle]

There are many Christians who are cultural Christians. We don't believe in the supernatural part of religion and we support the church's social arm. We observe the teachings and rituals of the church and submit to the authority of the clergy placed to shepherd the flock of Christ. But it's very hard if your family are evangelical Christians because I think evangelical Christians consider us atheists or non-believers. They believe in ancient fables including heaven and hell and they think we're going to hell because we don't accept the supernatural. I can understand your difficulty because evangelical Christians can be pretty extreme. I personally wouldn't rock the boat because there are too many people who will get hurt and really, it doesn't matter to you if you say your prayers or take the Sacrament. A wafer and a spot of wine won't hurt. I always think in terms of the least harm and the lesser evil, so just stick to it. And may God bless you (that's just politeness and I'm not speaking factually).

[Mr.Obvious]

There are many Christians who are cultural Christians. We don't believe in the supernatural part of religion and we support the church's social arm. We observe the teachings and rituals of the church and submit to the authority of the clergy placed to shepherd the flock of Christ. But it's very hard if your family are evangelical Christians because I think evangelical Christians consider us atheists or non-believers. They believe in ancient fables including heaven and hell and they think we're going to hell because we don't accept the supernatural. I can understand your difficulty because evangelical Christians can be pretty extreme. I personally wouldn't rock the boat because there are too many people who will get hurt and really, it doesn't matter to you if you say your prayers or take the Sacrament. A wafer and a spot of wine won't hurt. I always think in terms of the least harm and the lesser evil, so just stick to it. And may God bless you (that's just politeness and I'm not speaking factually).

Unless... you know... it really does matter to some if they have to say prayers or take sacrament and see it as living a disrespectfull lie and being dishonest to loved ones.
Lesser evil and least harm is a good motive, most of the time. But Rena, only you can judge which is which in your case.