Not sure if i want to be christian anymore?

[rick]

So this might be a weird question on an atheist forum since i don't consider myself an atheist, but i would appreciate some feedback as i always get biased answers from other christians. It is a long story but i think it is important to describe how i got to my current mindset.

I have grown up in a very strict christian family and only had other christian friends growing up. I was home schooled so i didn't have much interaction with other non-christians, so i guess you could say i was very sheltered. Anyway i recently started university this year and it was my first time living away from my parents, and i could make my own decisions. I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian. At first i judged most of these people for how they lived their lives, like how they would get drunk and have sex etc. But when i got to know them i realized that a lot of them were really nice people and i consider some of them my closest friends.

One big issue that arose while i was at university was that issue of gay marriage. I always believed that homosexuality was wrong and i opposed gay marriage. I had discussions about this with some of my friends but i always stuck to my beliefs and never really listened.
I have watched porn for quite a while and although i know it is a sin, i continued to do it anyway. All my christian friends (the guys) watched porn aswell so i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong and it was just normal. I also only watch lesbian and solo porn. I never really thought of it as hypocritical until i realized that i deny 2 women the right to get married but then i go home and get off to 2 women having sex. I was feeling guilty about this so one day i actually listened to one of my friends and he explained that just because i don't agree with gay marriage that doesn't mean i have the right to push my views onto other people. I realized that it was wrong of me to oppose gay marriage.

This lead me to question my own beliefs. I realized that my trust and belief has been in the church and my family/friands because that is how i have grown up and all ive ever known. It has been more of a lifestyle for me than an actual faith. My friends at university have also explained to me about evolution (something i had very little understanding of before) and i even started researching about it myself. I have come to the conclusion that evolution is real and this contradicts the bible. I'm not sure if i believe what it says in the bible but i do believe in evolution. I'm not sure if this makes me an atheist or not.

I know this isn't a question but i would appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Thanks.

[Plu]

What you describe doesn't make you an atheist, it makes you something even better. You've become a skeptic, who doesn't blindly follow what others tell him, but thinks about issues, is willing to invest time and research into matters of import, and will listen to rational arguments instead of authorative ones. And most importantly, who is willing to change his mind if better information presents itself.

I wouldn't worry too much about what you should label yourself. Instead, keep thinking about the things you have been taught and keep researching the world around you. Keep keep changing your beliefs, any of them, if information comes to light to show it to be wrong. And never stop discussing important topics like these with people but always judge the arguments on their own merit, not by the people making them.

It'll all start making sense in time. You've been sheltered from reality for a long time, but it seems you have the correct attitude to leave your shelter and experience the world for what it really is.

Welcome to the forums.

[Jason78]

It's good that you're thinking about things.

[SGOS]

I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian.

I'll take a guess that "non-Christian" is being defined here as Catholic, Methodist, Lutheran, or something outside your specific sect.  I can't think of any college in the US where non-Christians even come close to outnumbering Christians.  Probably more like 5% non-Christian would be my guess.

Edit:  Although, there are a lot of Asian kids in the US now, which might change the ratio a bit.

[SGOS]

Not sure if i want to be christian anymore?PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:20 am

For me it wasn't a matter of what I wanted.  It was a matter of coming to grips with what I observed about my environment, taking a look inside myself and confronting my doubts.  What things can I be sure are real?  What things can I not be sure are real?  Learning about the rest of the world, and often observing other Christians and their behavior.  The whole thing was fairly complex at first, but in the end it comes down to what I can and cannot know about reality.  For whatever reason, I ended up focusing on what I can know, rather than what I cannot know.  That was not choice.  It was simply the only thing that made any sense to me.

[GrinningYMIR]

Welcome to the forum, I found out I wasn't religious a few years ago when I read the bible and found the contradictions. I realized I was an atheist a short time later.

Needless to say, there are a lot of former Christians here who understand your plight, I hope you like it here!  :)

[Sal1981]

Sounds like you got a healthy dose of skepticism.

I'll echo Plu, it doesn't necessarily make you an atheist, but your attitude of figuring stuff out on your own and not taking stuff a face value but on what evidence and sound argument is behind it is a good way to not let yourself be fooled by others, or even yourself. It is something I live by: Accept that you might be wrong about something you thought was true, so you have to change your views to accommodate and try to find out what is true, or if there's lack of information simply come to terms that you simply don't know at current point in time.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

If you had been raised by wolves you would likely think it was alright to run down other animals every day, kill them and eat them raw...up until on one of those hunts when you run across a McDonalds and see people just purchase their food precooked without having to chase it down.. :-k

[Satt]

I am glad you are in college and seeking to learn about the real world. That in itself speaks volumes about the type of person you are. It is refreshing when I see someone so young questioning the things around them. It took me over 30 years before I started really questioning things. The freedom of the mind is the best freedom IMHO. Just take it slow and explore and learn everything you can. Enjoy college and your new friends. I agree that there is no need to put a label on yourself, but I will leave you with the quote that eventually pushed me towards "atheism".

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?"

- Epicurus

[StupidWiz]

Welcome to the reality, we have cookies.  

It must be hard for you, I know cause I've been through the same thing with Islam, so, just take it easy and don't label yourself. Be skeptical and open minded and question everything, especially the ones that have been taught by your religion so far.

[Hijiri Byakuren]

I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian.

I'll take a guess that "non-Christian" is being defined here as Catholic, Methodist, Lutheran, or something outside your specific sect.  I can't think of any college in the US where non-Christians even come close to outnumbering Christians.  Probably more like 5% non-Christian would be my guess.

Edit:  Although, there are a lot of Asian kids in the US now, which might change the ratio a bit.

Have you considered that he may not be American? (He never stated as such.)

[stromboli]

We are all born atheists. Without being taught religion (or shoved down our throats, more likely) we would never logically conclude it exists. Really is that simple.

[mykcob4]

So this might be a weird question on an atheist forum since i don't consider myself an atheist, but i would appreciate some feedback as i always get biased answers from other christians. It is a long story but i think it is important to describe how i got to my current mindset.

I have grown up in a very strict christian family and only had other christian friends growing up. I was home schooled so i didn't have much interaction with other non-christians, so i guess you could say i was very sheltered. Anyway i recently started university this year and it was my first time living away from my parents, and i could make my own decisions. I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian. At first i judged most of these people for how they lived their lives, like how they would get drunk and have sex etc. But when i got to know them i realized that a lot of them were really nice people and i consider some of them my closest friends.

One big issue that arose while i was at university was that issue of gay marriage. I always believed that homosexuality was wrong and i opposed gay marriage. I had discussions about this with some of my friends but i always stuck to my beliefs and never really listened.
I have watched porn for quite a while and although i know it is a sin, i continued to do it anyway. All my christian friends (the guys) watched porn aswell so i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong and it was just normal. I also only watch lesbian and solo porn. I never really thought of it as hypocritical until i realized that i deny 2 women the right to get married but then i go home and get off to 2 women having sex. I was feeling guilty about this so one day i actually listened to one of my friends and he explained that just because i don't agree with gay marriage that doesn't mean i have the right to push my views onto other people. I realized that it was wrong of me to oppose gay marriage.

This lead me to question my own beliefs. I realized that my trust and belief has been in the church and my family/friands because that is how i have grown up and all ive ever known. It has been more of a lifestyle for me than an actual faith. My friends at university have also explained to me about evolution (something i had very little understanding of before) and i even started researching about it myself. I have come to the conclusion that evolution is real and this contradicts the bible. I'm not sure if i believe what it says in the bible but i do believe in evolution. I'm not sure if this makes me an atheist or not.

I know this isn't a question but i would appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Thanks.

That is one of the most honest accounts of a life experience I have ever read. The fact is that you sound as if you are confused, but I don't actually think that is the case. Sounds to me that you are really ready to learn and explore and coming to realize that you have to keep an open mind to do so. When you were home schooled you were sheltered from reality. Yes you were kept from the bad things that might prey upon you as a child but you were also kept from truth and facts that are necessary to learn.
I believe in science. Not because it is the answer to all things but because of the way it acquires knowledge...i.e. the scientific process. It doesn't assmue answers. Actually in most cases it leaves questions unanswered if it is incapable of producing finite absolute proof. And there is the difference in religion and science. Science will not make assunptions and needs varifiable proof. Religion has to make a huge assumption (they call it faith) and attempts to answer everything with one big pat answer. That being "the will of god." The problem occurs when science actually proves a religious tenet wrong. That is when the religious start justifying with things like "intelligent design" and other nonsense.
I will not ask you to reject your faith. I will not proslytize. I have no need to do so. I have no need to recruit anyone for any reason.
You on the otherhand must come to grips with yourself and what you find to be true.
So it is simple. Do you want to base your whole life on an assumption...faith, or do you want to rely on facts? That is your choice to make.

[Solitary]

:-D  Welcome aboard rick! You are learning to question authority and think for yourself. This is a good thing. "The truth shall set you free." Solitary

[Mister Agenda]

I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian.

I'll take a guess that "non-Christian" is being defined here as Catholic, Methodist, Lutheran, or something outside your specific sect.  I can't think of any college in the US where non-Christians even come close to outnumbering Christians.  Probably more like 5% non-Christian would be my guess.

Edit:  Although, there are a lot of Asian kids in the US now, which might change the ratio a bit.

I think these days it goes something like 70% Christian, 20% 'Nones' (about a quarter of that, or 5% of the total being self-identified atheists), and 10% 'Other' (Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc.). Of course, some Christians define anyone who drinks and has sex with someone they're not married to as a 'non-Christian'.