Anyone know some Muslim jokes

[Rushrange]

I found some on a site, don't know why it says very mean jokes. It's legit in my opinion :P
//http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2013/02/very_mean_muslim_jokes_1.html

Q: How do you pick up a Muslim girl in Afghanistan?
A: With a broom and a dustpan.

Q: Why do Muslim girls keep quiet while having sex?
A: Because they're not supposed to talk to strangers.

Q: What do you ask a man who's just converted to Islam?
A: Have you started beating your wife?

Q: Why do Muslims smell like piss?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

Q: How come they canceled the Saudi Arabia Drivers' Ed program?
A: The donkey died.

If you know any jokes, then feel free to share :)

[Mister Agenda]

I don't know any Christian jokes, either. I'm more one to throw out a zinger than tell a joke.

[Sargon The Grape]

Two Muslims walk into a mall...

...they shop.

[Hydra009]

A muslim man arms a bomb and sets it down.

His team wins de_dust for the 5th time in a row.

[SilentFutility]

OP you aren't funny.

A muslim man arms a bomb and sets it down.

His team wins de_dust for the 5th time in a row.

This made me lol though.  :rollin:

[The Skeletal Atheist]

[Shiranu]

[ Image ]

These are probably the best Muslim jokes.

[baronvonrort]

Why are there no muslims in star trek and star wars?

Those movies are set in the future.

[Plu]

I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.

[Hydra009]

I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.

Roddenbury certainly planned it that way.  However, there is one major deviation.  Kirk says "Mankind has no need for gods. We find the one quite adequate."  That and DS9 (wormhole gods/aliens with heavy biblical undertones) and Voyager (where we're treated to not only to literal God particles, but we're also subjected to Chakotay's spirit world on a regular basis, although not technically theistic, it was just as insufferable)

[Shiranu]

I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.

The Bajorians, one of the major races, is ridiculously theistic.
As are the Edo.

In those two cases though there are physical manifestations of their gods; the beings in the wormhole and the guardian over the Edo.

There are probably more alien races, but lets just go with humanity...

In TOS,  "Balance of Terror" there is a cross during a wedding. In another TOS episode one of the crew is wearing a bindi on her forehead (though this one could possibly just be cultural).  Kirk says: "Scotty doesn't believe in gods" and also "Man has no need for gods. We find the one quite sufficient". This almost sounds like Kirk is supposed to be Christian, Jewish or Muslim (TOS: "Who Mourns for Adonais").

http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/incon ... ligion.htm

Site has a few more examples.

That said, TOS and TNG are very critical of religion, it was only with DS9 and the change from Roddenberry that religion became an important part. TNG has some scenes that are indeed very anti-religion, which isn't surprising given GR's views on religion.

[frosty]

A muslim man arms a bomb and sets it down.

His team wins de_dust for the 5th time in a row.

This gave me intense nostalgia for Counter-Strike, especially the older de_dust versions. Damn it!!

[The Skeletal Atheist]

I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.

The Bajorians, one of the major races, is ridiculously theistic.
As are the Edo.

In those two cases though there are physical manifestations of their gods; the beings in the wormhole and the guardian over the Edo.

There are probably more alien races, but lets just go with humanity...

In TOS,  "Balance of Terror" there is a cross during a wedding. In another TOS episode one of the crew is wearing a bindi on her forehead (though this one could possibly just be cultural).  Kirk says: "Scotty doesn't believe in gods" and also "Man has no need for gods. We find the one quite sufficient". This almost sounds like Kirk is supposed to be Christian, Jewish or Muslim (TOS: "Who Mourns for Adonais").

http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/incon ... ligion.htm

Site has a few more examples.

That said, TOS and TNG are very critical of religion, it was only with DS9 and the change from Roddenberry that religion became an important part. TNG has some scenes that are indeed very anti-religion, which isn't surprising given GR's views on religion.

That's nice and all, but allow me to make this simple observation:






NERD!!! :P

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I once heard:
Why don't Muslims bomb the US to often?
No YMCA to learn to swim across the Atlantic ocean..

...and I thought it was lame too, but it's all I got. :|

[Solitary]

A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind." The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."  :shock:   Solitary