Started by Solomon Zorn, September 15, 2013, 02:32:56 AM
Quote from: "Solomon Zorn"I love it, Myke. Your poem evokes an emotional response, which, I was taught, is the first objective of poetry. I really identify with the sentiments. If this were a class, and I were critiquing, I would only say that I wish you used that excellent rhyme-scheme from the last two stanzas throughout. The first two are similar, but lack the interest created by rhyming the 3rd line with the 4th line. (I've even got in mind a fix for it: one line and one word to perfect the rhyme scheme! Oooooo-let-me-at-it!)That's just nit-picking though really. It's a great poem. Thanks for sharing.
Quote from: "mykcob4"A Friend Without FriendsAs far as I can tellI see no god at allI search here and thereYonder to and froBut theres no answer to my callMy friends all hold handsAnd pray to what I do not knowThey ask for forgivenessThey ask for thingsBut theres nothing that ever showsI was taught to believeTo obey in faith blindBut I cannot obeyI cannot stayThe imprisoned mindSo now I walk aloneI face life realAnd smile at my friendsAt those who pretendVery content in how I feel Myke
Quote from: "Solomon Zorn"Sorry it took me so long to respond, Myke, my computer got stolen by crack-heads and I still haven't replaced it. So I'm only online every other weekend. Anyway...great work! I especially liked the first one's subversive undertones. The second one actually has me worried about you! But it really captures the whole experience.I actually saw your post a while ago, but didn't have time to respond. It got me thinking about poetry in general though, an so I put some of my thoughts on the subject into writing. Here's what I came up with:[center:35iydnbm]On PoetrySolomon Zorn[/center:35iydnbm] I don't write much free-form poetry. Although it's lofty language lifts the limits of simple prose, and presently progresses into a lot of alliteration, I feel the reader will find it ponderous. It's capable of evoking an emotional response, but I prefer more structured forms.Rhyme and meterNeed to beChallengingLinguisticallyRhythm adds A new dimensionThoughts aligningIn progressionPoetry is evolutionAdvancing in stagesGrowing branchesSelecting traitsDefining functionsAdapting to the repeating patterns of wordsMaking them serve the central themeStructure is environmentEstablishing parametersLimiting expressionSuggesting tangentsSeparating ideasAdapting to the unpredictable flow of thoughtsMaking them serve the central themeA poem A childTaking his own pathNot forced Not restrainedOnly guidedA poemA performerEntertaining the readerNot trivialNot mundaneOnly inspiredConsider:EmotionAudienceMessageBrevityThe uneducated hick gets down from his soapbox an resumes watching television.