Baby Athiest - Now What?

[WARPED]

Hello all or none. From the moment I could think for myself, I've been a Christian. Christian school 2nd grade through 4 years of college (worthless). In a church building EVERYDAY for years, including weekends. I was a missionary and heavily involved in every ministry I could be involved with. All this in an independent, fundamental, King James Bible only Baptist church (ikr?). I had goals: study the Bible, live a Christ-like life to the best of my ability and spread the gospel, which I actually hated because I have bad social anxiety but it was required of me if I wanted to maintain my status in the church. Point is...church was quite literally my home for most of my life. I knew every nook and cranny of that place. 


I am now 36 and finding that most of my life goals and aspirations were all based on fantasy. I'm losing my sense of worth. I still feel I should live life as a good person. Treat others how you want to be treated and all that jazz. I work, eat, sleep, wake up and do it all again. But I have nothing I am living for and I'm in a ditch...a dangerous ditch because depression is real with me. 

As a fellow atheist, I want to know what are some your goals and aspirations in life? What makes you tick? Or helps you get out of bed in the morning? What do you look forward to on a day to day basis? I need....a point to me I guess. A point to life, if there is one.

If you've made it this far....I'm shocked...thanks ^_^   

[Unbeliever]

Hi WARPED!

I like to think about how it is that I exist. Not believing in a creator God means that I have to find the answer within a scientific framework. So I read a lot and watch science videos on YouTube.
But of course I haven't found any ultimate answers yet, and probably (almost certainly) never will. The fun is in the search.
You don't need to have your meaning or purpose handed to you from outside yourself. You can generate your own meaning and purpose.

I hope we can discuss this more when I have more time.

Later! 🖖

[WARPED]

Thanks, Unbeliever. I know the key points to my particular dilemma is motivation, nerves and fear. I have wants and desires for myself but can't get out of my head about the end result that may occur.

In a church setting it was so structured and laid out for me. Now....I don't know what the frick.

I'm curious to know what you have found out so far for yourself. And I will take any advice.

[aitm]

I have overcome many hardships to live this long. Actually, my hardships are nothing compared to 80% of the world people. I reflect on them as hardships and pat myself on the back for the perseverances I found within me to succeed.
 Actually, I understand that millions have little food, little water, little freedoms, little education and scant, dare I say, extremely long odds of living till they are a mere twenty.

I am spoiled at the opulence this place allows me, but like most consider our paths to be rigorous, and treacherous, filled with challenges that need a great deal of fortitude and dedication to overcome. Yet, everyday, I see people in line at a checkout that can be considered barely even minimally educated and yet...they survive and continue and somehow may even someday reach lower middle income which is still great wealth in many other countries.

I offer no advice nor instruction, only observation. With all your troubles, turmoils or inflected inner conflict, 8 billion people would dance and sing and rejoice just to be able to have those alone.
I am 68. I still love to learn, laugh, tell lies, joke, make dinner, hear people laugh, watch them. Shake your head at the absurdity of some, laugh at the great deal of ignorance that surrounds us.

Life is completely meaningless, but only to what degree are you willing to admit a defeat. A defeat? From what? Not succeeding as your neighbor who is probably considering suicide though making 4 times the money? Misery? Our misery would be a welcome break to billions. Want meaning? It's not inside you, everything is outside your skin, every reward, every laugh, every cry. All interaction with others is what makes life life....unless you want to be a hermit, and the world most likely would prefer that as well for you.
Want to change your path? Get off the road you're on and go on a different one. Find an easier one, or a harder one, your inner self is still there. Until you are content with you, life will never be content. But don't give up. There is no chance of coming back, and worse, no way to realize if you are indeed happier, you won't even know it's dark and quiet. Keep walking, every day something adds to the road, every day you get a shot at something else. Every day.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Take all your goals and aspirations you had as a believer and deduct the mystical shit. Life will be simpler and your achievements will be your own.

[Mr.Obvious]

Welcome warped, to our little band of heathens.

I felt lost for a little while, after losing my religion. Rather than liberated.

What helped me, I think, was taking a long look in the mirror and ask myself what this Newfound godlessness changed about me, as a person.
It didn´t change a lot, if I was honest. There might not be purpose for being who I was, but I still was who I was. And indeed, that pointed me only to more accountability for my own being: allowing me to still take pride in my strengths, but also acknowledge my faults. And it helped me to always strive to be a better person and not be content with believing i was an intended special snowflake.
And it helped me in my resolve that I should try to make this world better and help Justice reign, for it is merely a human concept and there is no way to fix the faults on this earth after death. No way to right the wrongs but here on earth with the limited time we have.

[Luther Martini]

Freedom can be scary. That is why so many people can never escape the grip that a religious movement has on them.

Be happy that you no longer have to play a part in the great charade of pseudo pious bullshit, and please know that you do not have to explain or justify your decision to break free to anyone !!!

Don't dwell on uncertainty or fear of what you might have lost.  Find joy in the freedom that you have gained.

[Unbeliever]

Thanks, Unbeliever. I know the key points to my particular dilemma is motivation, nerves and fear. I have wants and desires for myself but can't get out of my head about the end result that may occur.

In a church setting it was so structured and laid out for me. Now....I don't know what the frick.

I'm curious to know what you have found out so far for yourself. And I will take any advice.

Here's my favorite quote:
"We look back through countless millions of years and see the great will to live struggling out of the intertidal slime, struggling from shape to shape and from power to power, crawling and then walking confidently upon the land, struggling generation after generation to master the air, creeping down into the darkness of the deep; we see it turn upon itself in rage and hunger and reshape itself anew, we watch it draw nearer and more akin to us, expanding, elaborating itself, pursuing its relentless inconceivable purpose, until at last it reaches us and its being beats through our brains and arteries... It is possible to believe that all the past is but the beginning of a beginning, and that all that is and has been is but the twilight of the dawn. It is possible to believe that all that the human mind has accomplished is but the dream before the awakening; out of our lineage, minds will spring that will reach back to us in our littleness to know us better than we know ourselves. A day will come, one day in the unending succession of days, when beings who are now latent in our thoughts and hidden in our loins shall stand upon this Earth as one stands upon a footstool, and shall laugh and reach out their hands amidst the stars."

H. G. Wells

[Shiranu]

To try to answer a bit of it off of one quote...

I am now 36 and finding that most of my life goals and aspirations were all based on fantasy.

Were they?

Living a "Christ-like" life is something we all probably should aspire to; Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, Hindus, Shinto, atheist, agnostic, whatever... the teachings themselves are largely legitimately good teachings. I feel the same about the teachings of the Buddha, Guru Nanak (Sikh founder), Maimonides, Plato, Zoroaster... truth is truth regardless of context it was spoken, and for most of human history it was the guru, the philosopher, the rabbi and the monk who was formally educated (other than the noble)... and many of those teachers were strongly opposed to any sort of "political" or oppressive form of religion - or worse yet, were tortured, exiled or killed for their teachings that opposed aristocratic monarchies.

The problem is that "Christ-like" has been a matter of interpretation - and for about 1000 years of Christian history, the *only* "not-be-tortured-and-executed" interpretation was the Vatican's and the Eastern Orthodox patriarch's - both puppets of the Roman empire.

I find myself viewing it as Ghandi did - "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians; your Christians are nothing like your Christ."

The meaning of Christ's life was largely pro-individual, pro-freedom, pro-worker - stuff I still find incredibly valuable today, if not more valuable today than at any other part of my life. There was a reason it spread like wildfire amongst a slave state other than just "it gave them hope of an afterlife." - it's early days gave them hope to try and overthrow those institutions.

*(And just to be clear, I don't identify as a Christian or even necessarily a theist or atheist... I don't really care one way or another at this point, so that's not a "bruh just convert back" type of pro-Christ remark lol)

[Hydra009]

The meaning of Christ's life was largely pro-individual, pro-freedom, pro-worker - stuff I still find incredibly valuable today, if not more valuable today than at any other part of my life. There was a reason it spread like wildfire amongst a slave state other than just "it gave them hope of an afterlife." - it's early days gave them hope to try and overthrow those institutions.

IIRC, Roman Christians didn't actually overthrow those institutions, they simply took them over.  Though they did put a stop to gladiator games.  But those were increasingly lavish and unsustainable, so it might've been on the way out anyway.

[Shiranu]

IIRC, Roman Christians didn't actually overthrow those institutions, they simply took them over.  Though they did put a stop to gladiator games.  But those were increasingly lavish and unsustainable, so it might've been on the way out anyway.

To a large extent, yeah.

I would argue though that this was an instance of the end result not matching the goal - like small-S socialists and the Soviet Russia (edit - meant Union, but honestly...), or "All men are created equal" democracy and the United States. If you couldn't beat them, join them - or if there was enough to be gained, some people weren't as committed to their ideals as they put on.

The Middle East is littered with the remains of Christian communities that simply wanted to be left alone - and a variety of societies, Christian and "pagan" that had some liberal by today's standards views on women, slavery and equality.

They lost the war for the church, and the "Church" (now owned by the Roman Empire it once fought) would then spend about 300 years hunting them down in the East - it happens to this day in the West. I would argue this around the time that Christ and "Christianity" took a hard split and would start having occasional flings and breakups.

[Hydra009]

I am now 36 and finding that most of my life goals and aspirations were all based on fantasy. I'm losing my sense of worth.

It's a bit deflating.  Lots of people go through a sort of depression before things finally click.  Give it time.

I still feel I should live life as a good person. Treat others how you want to be treated and all that jazz.

That's a very good sign and indicates a very stable foundation of morality.

As a fellow atheist, I want to know what are some your goals and aspirations in life? What makes you tick? Or helps you get out of bed in the morning? What do you look forward to on a day to day basis?

To work to keep a roof over my head, for one.  But I also simply like to be helpful - to go to bed knowing that I helped someone in some small way.  I'm eagerly anticipating visiting some friends and family and doing fun stuff together with them.  I like to visit the forest and the beach, to feel the surf wash over my legs and inhale the salty air.  I like to learn new things and experience new things.

Imagine life as an orange.  I want to bite down as hard as I can and suck down every last drop.

As for the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, I can't say I know the answer.  42, maybe?  All I know is that the more I learn, I find the easy answers less and less appealing.  I loathe the idea of living my life according to what some cult leader came up with.  I find it deeply depressing that people give themselves over to that sort of stuff so readily.  I want people to be better than that.  I know they're better than that, because some small portion is better than that and if they can do it, so can the rest in time.

For my part, I strongly gravitate to a sort of Epicurean hedonism and secular humanistic ethics, with the ultimate goal of Eudaimonia, cultivating a combination of peace, prosperity, and internal growth.  Simply put, I envision a world where people are not subject to violence, have at least their basic needs met, and are free to pursue things that make them happy and to try to become their best selves.  (And yes, I know that's called Star Trek)

[WARPED]

Life is completely meaningless, but only to what degree are you willing to admit a defeat. A defeat? From what? Not succeeding as your neighbor who is probably considering suicide though making 4 times the money? Misery? Our misery would be a welcome break to billions. Want meaning? It's not inside you, everything is outside your skin, every reward, every laugh, every cry. All interaction with others is what makes life life....unless you want to be a hermit, and the world most likely would prefer that as well for you.
Want to change your path? Get off the road you're on and go on a different one. Find an easier one, or a harder one, your inner self is still there. Until you are content with you, life will never be content. But don't give up. There is no chance of coming back, and worse, no way to realize if you are indeed happier, you won't even know it's dark and quiet. Keep walking, every day something adds to the road, every day you get a shot at something else. Every day.

Thank you and you are so right. I had a lot of firsts in my late 20's and am going to my very first concert in my life this week. I think I ruminate too much on meaning when I should try to make it a habit to take one day at a time for as many days as I have. I'm a doomsday person, meaning I am very negative regarding myself and any situation I am. I need to pull my boot straps up as it were.

Lately I have been considering taking art lessons and even jumping out of a plane! I feel I am still on the road to self discovery and the walls I put up around myself are blocking that. So yes, one day at a time. Keep walking...that's my new goal.

[WARPED]

Don't dwell on uncertainty or fear of what you might have lost.  Find joy in the freedom that you have gained.

I think you read my inner self just then. Uncertainty and fear.....I have a lot of it. I've learned so far to keep walking and don't dwell. Thank you 

[WARPED]

Living a "Christ-like" life is something we all probably should aspire to; Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, Hindus, Shinto, atheist, agnostic, whatever... the teachings themselves are largely legitimately good teachings. I feel the same about the teachings of the Buddha, Guru Nanak (Sikh founder), Maimonides, Plato, Zoroaster... truth is truth regardless of context it was spoken, and for most of human history it was the guru, the philosopher, the rabbi and the monk who was formally educated (other than the noble)... and many of those teachers were strongly opposed to any sort of "political" or oppressive form of religion - or worse yet, were tortured, exiled or killed for their teachings that opposed aristocratic monarchies.

The problem is that "Christ-like" has been a matter of interpretation - and for about 1000 years of Christian history, the *only* "not-be-tortured-and-executed" interpretation was the Vatican's and the Eastern Orthodox patriarch's - both puppets of the Roman empire.

I find myself viewing it as Ghandi did - "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians; your Christians are nothing like your Christ."

The meaning of Christ's life was largely pro-individual, pro-freedom, pro-worker - stuff I still find incredibly valuable today, if not more valuable today than at any other part of my life. There was a reason it spread like wildfire amongst a slave state other than just "it gave them hope of an afterlife." - it's early days gave them hope to try and overthrow those institutions.

*(And just to be clear, I don't identify as a Christian or even necessarily a theist or atheist... I don't really care one way or another at this point, so that's not a "bruh just convert back" type of pro-Christ remark lol)

Agreed! Being raised in that environment, yes, I may have been taught to shun "wicked sinners" but I was also taught the Bible and the teaching of christ, which isn't all bad. Most of it is good. Be charitable, be kind, patient, forgiving, etc. I've never really looked at it like that so I am thankful for that at least as I still strive for that to this day.

And agreed, alot of "Christians" are nothing like Christ. A pastor I idolized (I broke a commandment there lol) is still in jail for SA on a teen.....so...comes down to the individual. Labels mean nothing.