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Terrorizing Telemarketers

Started by _Xenu_, June 07, 2013, 11:47:17 AM

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_Xenu_

When I was a kid, my parents would hand me the phone any time a telemarketer called, and I was free to mess with them in any way I desired. I would pretend to be a manure salesman and aggressively peddle literal horse shit for $99.95 a bag. In keeping with tradition, this individual recorded calls of himself fucking with telemarketers and posted them on the Internet for our amusement. There's over twenty calls recorded.

http://chris.com/telemarketing/index.php?play=1
Click this link once a day to feed shelter animals. Its free.

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/ars/home

stromboli

Problem is now you either get robocalls or somebody from a foreign country who doesn't understand the connotations behind s**th**e f**cking C**t. Just saying. If I got rich I would find that Pastor Parsley scumbag and beat him within an inch of salvation.

Solitary

When I first got married I had a salesman (they weren't called telemarketers then) that wanted to sell me aluminum siding for my house. I told him no, I don't want any.  He wouldn't give up and so I let him speak on the phone for about 45 minutes, and then told him yes It does sound like a good idea. He made a date to come to the house and sign a contract. I watched as he pulled up in front of my stone house and turned around mad as hell. Bill
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

mephox

Quote from: SolitaryWhen I first got married I had a salesman (they weren't called telemarketers then) that wanted to sell me aluminum siding for my house. I told him no, I don't want any.  He wouldn't give up and so I let him speak on the phone for about 45 minutes, and then told him yes It does sound like a good idea. He made a date to come to the house and sign a contract. I watched as he pulled up in front of my stone house and turned around mad as hell. Bill

Thank you for that. That was hilarious.

Shiranu

I feel too bad for telemarketers to fuck with them, that is a soul-eating job.
Every day is a good day to *remove from server* an autocrat.

Plu

Quote from: "Solitary"When I first got married I had a salesman (they weren't called telemarketers then) that wanted to sell me aluminum siding for my house. I told him no, I don't want any.  He wouldn't give up and so I let him speak on the phone for about 45 minutes, and then told him yes It does sound like a good idea. He made a date to come to the house and sign a contract. I watched as he pulled up in front of my stone house and turned around mad as hell. Bill

The best part is that it's totally his own fault for pushing something on you without even bothering to ask "why don't you want it?".

SGOS

My roommate in college came from a cattle ranch in Eastern Montana.  I remember him telling me about these 4 brothers who ran a ranch in the area.  Some salesman showed up one evening and started a pitch for farming equipment they didn't want, but they acted interested.  At 10:00 o'clock, three of them went to bed, and the other one stayed up talking to the salesman until midnight.  After that, the others would get up one at a time in two hour shifts stringing the salesman along until the sun came up.  Then they told him they had to go to work, but invited him to come back the next evening.  But he didn't show.

surly74

Quote from: "SGOS"My roommate in college came from a cattle ranch in Eastern Montana.  I remember him telling me about these 4 brothers who ran a ranch in the area.  Some salesman showed up one evening and started a pitch for farming equipment they didn't want, but they acted interested.  At 10:00 o'clock, three of them went to bed, and the other one stayed up talking to the salesman until midnight.  After that, the others would get up one at a time in two hour shifts stringing the salesman along until the sun came up.  Then they told him they had to go to work, but invited him to come back the next evening.  But he didn't show.

a farm machinery salesman trying to sell to a ranch...the bastard.

the four brothers are quite the douchebags.
God bless those Pagans
--
Homer Simpson

Plu

Myeah. You should fuck with telemarketers after politely saying "no" just once. After that, if they continue to try and sell you something, by all means, mess around with them as much as you want. But everyone should be given a chance to show they're decent, well-meaning people before being subjected to trolling.

SGOS

Quote from: "surly74"a farm machinery salesman trying to sell to a ranch...the bastard.

the four brothers are quite the douchebags.
I thought it was uncalled for, too.  I suppose it get's lonely in Eastern Montana, so maybe they just wanted to have someone else to talk to.  But probably not.

surly74

I've been in both sales to private individuals and now in B2B sales. I find the story about the four brothers a tad far fetched. The aluminum siding one is funny however. Know who you are selling to.
God bless those Pagans
--
Homer Simpson

SGOS

Quote from: "surly74"I find the story about the four brothers a tad far fetched.
Yeah, it's a bit out there.  My roommate wasn't prone to making stuff up, but he could have fallen for an urban (or rural) myth.  Although, I recall the story as 4 guys he knew.

Colanth

I get almost all robocalls these days, so I just hang up.  The few human calls I get are locality-related - PAL and the like.  I moved 5 states but kept the same area code, so I just tell those people that I no longer live there and that's the end of it.

I no longer have the patience to screw with people on the phone.  (I used to though - in a big way.)
Afflicting the comfortable for 70 years.
Science builds skyscrapers, faith flies planes into them.

SGOS

Quote from: "Colanth"I just tell those people that I no longer live there and that's the end of it.
I don't have a set policy on how I deal with such calls.  Depending on my mood, I might listen for awhile, just out of curiosity.  If they have bothered me in the least bit, not necessarily because they have been rude, but because their call is usually an interuption, then I just hang up.  I used to feel guilty about that, but both the caller and I have got other things to do.  I want to get back to my game of solitaire or flossing my teeth, and he's working on the clock.  Neither one of us should waste the other's time with unneeded pleasantries or chit chat.  Out of 50 calls, he knows he might make only one sale.  He should be happy for an instantaneous disconnect.  Actually, I don't care if he's happy, but it's my most often used solution to the interruption, and I'm OK with it.