Baby names that defy general phonics

[TomFoolery]

After a discussion on Facebook, I've come to realize people are getting seriously deluded about what it is appropriate to name children and how those names "should" be spelled. I place "should" in parentheses because I realize that a lot of people just want a unique name for their child and come up with a spelling that still has a logical pronunciation.

I also realize that different languages pronounce and spell similar names in different ways:

Obviously Jorge is pronounced "Horr-hay" in Spanish but is George in English or Grete is Germanic and pronounced "Greta". I'm not ignorant of this fact. I think there are many common examples from foreign languages, but I feel like that's different than just inventing a name and using foreign languages after the fact to justify why "Cherry" should be pronounced "Sherry" for example. Sorry, but if you hail from an English-speaking country and plan on raising your child there, I think it should logically follow that for the rest of your child's life, people will equate that name with a small, red, round stone fruit.

The debate in particular centered around a friend of mine who named her child "Maize."

I fucking kid you not. A few people tried to talk her out of it by pointing out that "no one should love corn that much," but she kept insisting that she would pronounce it "Maisy" and since she had never heard that "Maize" was a term for corn that most other people probably wouldn't know that either. Eventually she unfriended people for questioning her judgement. I'm sorry, but in no way does anyone with a basic understanding of English pronounce it that way. Sure, Zoe, Chloe and Phoebe are pronounced with hard a "E," but they also have Greek roots. Would anyone pronounce Joe, Moe, or Lace as Joey, Moey, Lacey?

So out of curiosity, how would you pronounce the following names?
Rachelle
Cherie
Aysia
Chair
Xavior
Halley

[stromboli]

Chair?   

[Hydra009]

So out of curiosity, how would you pronounce the following names?
Rachelle
Cherie
Aysia
Chair
Xavior
Halley

Rah-shell
Cher-ie
Asia
Chair (exactly like the furniture)
x-zay-vyer (like charles xavier, mutant telepath)
Hay-lee

[Baruch]

After a discussion on Facebook, I've come to realize people are getting seriously deluded about what it is appropriate to name children and how those names "should" be spelled. I place "should" in parentheses because I realize that a lot of people just want a unique name for their child and come up with a spelling that still has a logical pronunciation.

I also realize that different languages pronounce and spell similar names in different ways:

Obviously Jorge is pronounced "Horr-hay" in Spanish but is George in English or Grete is Germanic and pronounced "Greta". I'm not ignorant of this fact. I think there are many common examples from foreign languages, but I feel like that's different than just inventing a name and using foreign languages after the fact to justify why "Cherry" should be pronounced "Sherry" for example. Sorry, but if you hail from an English-speaking country and plan on raising your child there, I think it should logically follow that for the rest of your child's life, people will equate that name with a small, red, round stone fruit.

The debate in particular centered around a friend of mine who named her child "Maize."

I fucking kid you not. A few people tried to talk her out of it by pointing out that "no one should love corn that much," but she kept insisting that she would pronounce it "Maisy" and since she had never heard that "Maize" was a term for corn that most other people probably wouldn't know that either. Eventually she unfriended people for questioning her judgement. I'm sorry, but in no way does anyone with a basic understanding of English pronounce it that way. Sure, Zoe, Chloe and Phoebe are pronounced with hard a "E," but they also have Greek roots. Would anyone pronounce Joe, Moe, or Lace as Joey, Moey, Lacey?

So out of curiosity, how would you pronounce the following names?
Rachelle
Cherie
Aysia
Chair
Xavior
Halley

Many recent African-American personal names (hard even for them to correctly pronounce) are political statements against their current slave masters (note ... not past ...).

I am not a good example, since I am influenced by Spanish and French:

Rachelle = ray-Shell (il est français)
Cherie = sheh-Ree (il est français)
Aysia = Ay-shah (voilà afro-américaine)
Chair = Shayr (voilà afro-américaine)
Xavior = Sav-war (il est français)
Halley = Hay-lee (voilà Anglais)

[TomFoolery]

Rachelle - this woman insists her daughter's name is Rachael. Ruh-shell in French of course, but Rachael in English? So if Michelle is Muh-shell in French, does that mean it's Mee-chell in English?
Cherie - it looks French so I would be inclined to say Sherry, but I could see the argument for Cherry also.
Aysia - I rolled my eyes and guessed Asia, but apparently she pronounces it "Ah-see-ah." Stupid me.
Chair -it's fucking chair. It's in the dictionary. I went to basic training with a Chair who insisted her name was pronounced "Shire."
Xavior - X-avier. Apparently, wrong again. This is really how you spell "Savior."
Halley - It looks like Hah-ley. Like Haley's comet.

[Baruch]

Given that French and Ebonics handle consonants and vowels differently than American English ... it is natural to be confused.  It get shit from my boss all the time, if I mispronounce someone's name (he's a self-righteous authoritarian).  One can simply ask how they pronounce it ... but we don't ask every new person this question if it seems obvious.  Then the problem remains, if I see them next, 6 months from now ... I won't remember if it has a special pronunciation.

[aitm]

I think many of our darker sisters love to come up with ridiculous names to see how it sounds if and when they ever make it to sports:
And theres go Lanikiquanalanal down the sidelines, he     could      go     all     the      oh no, he got tackled…..

[SGOS]

So out of curiosity, how would you pronounce the following names?
Rachelle
Cherie
Aysia
Chair
Xavior
Halley

Chair??  I suppose it would be Schar or Share, but regardless of the pronunciation, do you really want to name your kid Chair?  On occasion, often in public, the names will be read out loud.  Picture a teacher struggling with Chair and trying not to embarrass the kid on his first day at school.

[drunkenshoe]

Rah-shell
Cher-ie
Asia
x-zay-vyer (like charles xavier, mutant telepath)
Hay-lee

Like Hydra's.

But I'd attempt Chair as 'Cher' with a long e.

[PickelledEggs]

This reminds me of the story told me about a girl named Le-a... where the teacher kept pronouncing her student's name like Leia and then the mother came in, yelled at her, and said "It's le DASH ah. The dash isn't silent!"

I have a hard time believing that story is true, but it does remind me of that story.

[Youssuf Ramadan]

Given that French and Ebonics handle consonants and vowels differently than American English ... it is natural to be confused.

Fiji is interesting in its pronunciation of certain letters.
c makes a 'th' sound, and b has an 'm' sound in front of it.
So.. if we look at famous rugby players, for example:
Sireli Bobo is pronounced Sireli Mbombo
Bill Cavubati is pronounced Bill Thavumbati
Rupeni Caucaunibuca is pronounced Rupeni Thauthaunibutha
I don't know if this is just Fiji or other Polynesian islands too.

[SGOS]

I can't remember the name of the movie now, but in one of those coming of age plots, a high school geek pairs up with another eccentric misfit but loveable class mate name Sam, who spells her named S a 5 m, claiming that the 5 is silent.  They eventually rise to stardom and become popular and all the other girls start spelling their names in absurd ways with silent numbers, hyphens, asterisks, and so forth, and the guy hooks up with his Idol, David Bowie, who wants to back his talent for managing a band.

[drunkenshoe]

Wait, is Cahir pronounced 'Kair' or like 'Ker'?

[TomFoolery]

Picture a teacher struggling with Chair and trying not to embarrass the kid on his first day at school.

This exactly. I've encountered two types of people with unusual names: the ones that are super arrogant and sanctimonious about it (my name might look like Bucket, but it's obviously pronounced Bookay you uneducated troglodyte!"), and the ones who accept their fate and hate their parents for cursing them with a name that they have to explain to literally everyone they encounter.

[Hydra009]

Chair??  I suppose it would be Schar or Share, but regardless of the pronunciation, do you really want to name your kid Chair?  On occasion, often in public, the names will be read out loud.  Picture a teacher struggling with Chair and trying not to embarrass the kid on his first day at school.

Eh, he/she could grow up to be the head of a department.  Its chair, if you will.  :P