Woman on Male Sexual Assault

[Jannabear]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teogyQ7_r4s
Women are given tiny punishments for rape, or not punished at all.
This pisses me off.

[drunkenshoe]

For this issue to be recognised as the real issue it is you need wipe out a few basic general understandings related to each other in traditional gender norms, starting with male norms.

I agree with him on everything, but one thing.  NO, those disgusting, ignorant people who think this boy was not raped are NOT just horny and cannot see beyond their cocks, but they percieve their gender as the 'pussy idiot' animals and that a 'real man' (?) would fuck any female that moves (I mean, 'come on she is a cheerleader, right?') ; take every opportunity to score, because they are not in danger as being males. Because they are being brainwashed by everything in the society; told/acted by men and women and the patriarchal culture (oops look what I said) they live in a society of rules that

-males need and desire more sex, just because they are males
-males can protect themselves in every situation and context
-males are the traditional, natural perpetrators
-getting any kind of sexual attention from any female for a male is a WIN, the more sex a male has, the more successful he is in life
-males are always attracted to females around them, the result is always about the sexual interest females show (hence man and women can't be friends bullshit)

And tons of bullshit.

As I wrote many times before, we are still living in a patriachal system and it is not a conspiracy against any specific gender, but the most anceint system evolved from the idea that male is the stronger most agressive animal. While it sounds bullshit to young males here, unfortunately most people out there (a very big majority) living with the categories and experience the world in them. No, this is not about religion. It is much older than religion(s). Religion adopted to the system and became the religion, not system to the religion.

Patriarchal system has the sick balance of its own. It has cons and pros for both traditional gender norms. Females always get less punishment for the same crimes compared to males, because traditionally they do not count as a common threat. They are defined as the 'weak', 'emotional', 'fair' sex that needs to be protected, taken care of; passive agents. Something is done to them, they do not do things to others. The fact that those roles have changed in some parts in daily practical life doesn't influence the human culture overall and how people think in general. Because people do not work that way.

Females are far more attuned to sexual assault. Because they are defined as the traditional victims of sexual assault and they grow up with this fear from an early age. As their gender make most of their identity, they are also defined as 'lessened'; their 'worth' is seen through their sexual partners. A man being defined as a 'slut' is a joke expressed that hangs in the air, it doesn't affect his social life. A female is less likely to be selected as a mate when she is a 'slut' and it is highly likely any sexual assault experience she lives will turn against her. 

I am not saying -to anyone- that you are thinking like this. It doesn't matter what you think personally.

I gave an example about understanding of psychopathy related to this gender subject. Percieveing the male gender as the natural perpetrator is so strong, until a few decades ago -may be even less- they didn't even actually think there would be active female psychopaths out there and they still think it is rare. (There is a steady rise on female serial killers in general and although their numbers are still far less, they are more effective killers than male serial killers.)

People in general -men and women- ARE ALWAYS LESS LIKELY to get suspicious about women being perpetrators in any violent or sexual context. Actually, female rape victims being blamed generally is the very other side of the coin; the result of them not being seen as an active violent perpetrator, but a passive perpetrator who sexually provokes OR causes the crime to occur.   

I have a friend - a young male 12 years younger than me- an unbelievably decent and sweet guy. After he told me about his 'weird experience' with very beautiful young woman, it took me a fucking hour to get him understand that he was sexually assaulted -not completed rape- by her, because he is not inclined to see it that way. He stopped her and felt bad about the whole thing of course, he agrees she did something wrong to him, but he CAN'T see her as a rapist. She is a fucking rapist. He thinks more differently now. OK, he lives in a far more sexually repressed society than yours, but it is NOT that differet than you think when it comes to the perceptions on these issues.

[Baruch]

There are individuals that break any particular stereotype.  But assault is assault, regardless if sex comes into it or not.  The problem is, that assault and seduction have a very fine line between them ... aside from stopping anytime either party says no.

There is a patriarchal tradition, that sex and rape are about power, not criminality, not romance.  Sex as power, denies women efficacy in crime, as it does in all other aspects.

[drunkenshoe]

You just explained an ideal. How society; people; men and women in majority are inclined to see sexual assualt is the important thing here in this particular issue. Everyone knows sexual assualt and rape is a bad thing. It's the perception of that rape according to gender norms in specific situations that messes up everything.

While men get gang raped by women, most men and women laugh to the very idea of woman raping men.

[The Skeletal Atheist]

From my personal experience, women are especially grabby at gay bars. I don't know why, but at a gay bar some women think they can grab a man with impunity. I've had my ass grabbed, turned around to confront the son of a bitch who did it, only to see a group of women giggling like nothing was wrong.

I don't really get the psychology of that one. I don't see what they can see coming out of this, I'm gay. I'm not going to lust after vagina because some woman grouped me.

[drunkenshoe]

I don't really get the psychology of that one. I don't see what they can see coming out of this, I'm gay. I'm not going to lust after vagina because some woman grouped me.

Of course, I don't know about those specific women and I do not want to make a generalisation, but it ends up at the same point I tried to explain above.

Those women are exactly the same type of people with some men who think lesbians need 'deep dicking' to lust after men and find it OK to harass them esp. in environments like people go to hook up or get drunk. Unfortunately in both gender groups are the majority. Also homosexual males turn most women on. I get them, I feel the same, yes it is beautiful and hot. In my 20s two young males making out was a rare scene in special bars in Istanbul -I don't know if they exist anymore- but visiting Europe, I had to be conscious about beating myself down not to look at male couples, because it's far more public, you can see it anywhere and I have a strong urge to stare and enjoy the view in such ocassions which makes me feel bad. I don't feel like that for het couples and I identify het. Of course it is something completely different to look at them and physically abuse them. I am just giving an aspect.

While both genders get abusive, the main attitude with females -I observe- is that they do not think it is the same when they are doing it. Yeah. Exactly like I said before, they adapted to the general understanding that they do not count. The fact that they are not aware of this doesn't change anything. That's why I keep saying that not just the majority of men, but majority of the women think and behave patriarchal. However, the pattern of behaviour is defined by male gender norm. The traditional sexual perpetrator, the active one.

For example, women hitting or slapping men more easily and readily is also related to this. While there is absolutely no difference in hitting or slapping a female or a male, it is percieved as if it makes a difference when a male hits female, because he is defined as the dominant, stronger and bigger animal by norm. (Same patriarchal rule dictates to men and women that men is the caretaker; the one that 'has' to deal with anything hard and dirty. Should take care of women whatever happens.) Majority of women have this unbelievably moronic impression that men do not hurt or can deal with any kind of physical confrontation as if they are only physical when they occur. That's when and where shit happens. Women are not thinking this way, because they are evil or they hate men. They are growing up in an environment -the whole planet- that they physically do not count at all. They run-hit-play or fight like a girl, so with boys or men it is percieved as something completely different. This male profile is also perfectly dictated to be fit in a 'pussy idiot' animal without sentiments and emotion.

Yeah you'd think people with a tiny basic intelligence would work these out for themselves, but unfortunately understanding and knowing something is one thing and how people behave and act in daily one on one interactions and one on one relationships in real life is something else.

There is also a more disgusting side of people with certain sexual and gender identities get abused by het ones. I think by far this is the worst disgusting one to me. It's the unconscious or conscious  -more often than people think- understanding that general rules do not apply or could be handled in a lax manner, if someone is out of the 'traditional' sexual or a gender identities. I don't mean the general bigotry. This is something else and most people who act this way see themselves as OK with every other genders and sexual tendencies. It's the frame of mind.

I think this has roots in LGBTQA groups being deined legally a normal standard life for so long, as a result of being outlawed they were forced to sexual trades so often or seen as expendable as allsocieties see sexual workers. Because anything related to sex -goo dor bad- is perceived this way. All cultures are sexually repressed and when an issue about a person rises from that point it is always the same. It's abhorrent.

[Munch]

From my personal experience, women are especially grabby at gay bars. I don't know why, but at a gay bar some women think they can grab a man with impunity. I've had my ass grabbed, turned around to confront the son of a bitch who did it, only to see a group of women giggling like nothing was wrong.

I don't really get the psychology of that one. I don't see what they can see coming out of this, I'm gay. I'm not going to lust after vagina because some woman grouped me.

Its not happened to me but I have seen women do it to gay men in bars, I assumed they were just friends. However thinking more on it, imagining a straight man in a lesbian bar pinching a womans ass with the very high chance of her being lesbian, that would be front page headlines on the straight male misogyny.

[GSOgymrat]

From my personal experience, women are especially grabby at gay bars. I don't know why, but at a gay bar some women think they can grab a man with impunity. I've had my ass grabbed, turned around to confront the son of a bitch who did it, only to see a group of women giggling like nothing was wrong.

I don't really get the psychology of that one. I don't see what they can see coming out of this, I'm gay. I'm not going to lust after vagina because some woman grouped me.

At work a female coworker, who I barely knew but who had heard I was gay, said "Oh your chest is so big. Can a feel it?" and actually grabbed my chest in front of other coworkers. Mind you, this is a professional environment and I am in a dress shirt and tie. I was mortified and it definitely showed on my face because she later apologized. If I had done that to a male or female coworker I would probably be fired.

[aitm]

. I don't know why, but at a gay bar some women think they can grab a man with impunity.

I think most women would love the freedom to grab some guys ass without repercussion. Certainly a gay bar offers the chance to let down the inhibitions and grab an ass without having to fight off a guy who considers it a pass. I certainly would love to grab a gals ass with impunity.

[stromboli]

I cant watch the video because the guy speaking is very annoying. I have no experience with "women raping men" and frankly not sure how that could happen. I have never been in a situation when a woman raping me wouldn't be what I wanted in the first place. Yes I'm insensitive but frankly I think its stupid.

[drunkenshoe]

Unfortunately it is not stupid. It's almost never reported because people think it is stupid and more common than anyone thinks. Nobody takes it seriously and it is not even reported in the usual sources. The comments under some of the pieces are disgusting.

Man Kidnapped, Gang Raped For 4 Days By 3 Women

http://libertyfirstnews.com/man-kidnapped-gang-raped-for-4-days-by-3-women/#

5 Bizarre Realities of Being a Man Who Was Raped by a Woman

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1666-5-awful-realities-being-man-who-was-raped-by-woman.html

Also apparently there is something like this happening recently, but I have no idea what to say about it. It looks like the act itself doesn't matter here:

This Man Was Gang Raped At Gun Point By Three Women, Then Things Got Even Weirder

https://www.mrconservative.com/2015/05/58595-this-man-was-gang-raped-at-gun-point-by-three-women-then-things-got-even-weirder/

Two gang rapes from South Africa. I also read one from Mexico recently, but can't find it for soem reason.

Years and years ago, like more than 15. That's when I first heard of that. I remember this was being made a cover in one of the highest circulating international magazines. There were interviews with young men who were raped by women. It was very bad. It affected me.

[drunkenshoe]

When Men Are Raped

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2014/04/male_rape_in_america_a_new_study_reveals_that_men_are_sexually_assaulted.html

Last year the National Crime Victimization Survey turned up a remarkable statistic. In asking 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence, the survey uncovered that 38 percent of incidents were against men. The number seemed so high that it prompted researcher Lara Stemple to call the Bureau of Justice Statistics to see if it maybe it had made a mistake, or changed its terminology. After all, in years past men had accounted for somewhere between 5 and 14 percent of rape and sexual violence victims. But no, it wasn’t a mistake, officials told her, although they couldn’t explain the rise beyond guessing that maybe it had something to do with the publicity surrounding former football coach Jerry Sandusky and the Penn State sex abuse scandal.

Stemple, who works with the Health and Human Rights Project at UCLA, had often wondered whether incidents of sexual violence against men were under-reported. She had once worked on prison reform and knew that jail is a place where sexual violence against men is routine but not counted in the general national statistics. Stemple began digging through existing surveys and discovered that her hunch was correct. The experience of men and women is “a lot closer than any of us would expect,” she says. For some kinds of victimization, men and women have roughly equal experiences. Stemple concluded that we need to “completely rethink our assumptions about sexual victimization,” and especially our fallback model that men are always the perpetrators and women the victims.

Sexual assault is a term that gets refracted through the culture wars, as Slate’s own Emily Bazelon explained in a story about the terminology of rape. Feminists claimed the more legalistic term of sexual assault to put it squarely in the camp of violent crime. Bazelon argues in her story for reclaiming the term rape because of its harsh unflinching sound and its nonlegalistic shock value. But she also allows that rape does not help us grasp crimes outside our limited imagination, particularly crimes against men. She quotes a painful passage from screenwriter and novelist Rafael Yglesias, which is precisely the kind of crime Stemple worries is too foreign and uncomfortable to contemplate.

I used to say, when some part of me was still ashamed of what had been done to me, that I was “molested” because the man who played skillfully with my 8-year-old penis, who put it in his mouth, who put his lips on mine and tried to push his tongue in as deep as it would go, did not anally rape me. … Instead of delineating what he had done, I chose “molestation” hoping that would convey what had happened to me.
Of course it doesn’t. For listeners to appreciate and understand what I had endured, I needed to risk that they will gag or rush out of the room. I needed to be particular and clear as to the details so that when I say I was raped people will understand what I truly mean.
For years, the FBI defined forcible rape, for data collecting purposes, as “the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.” Eventually localities began to rebel against that limited gender-bound definition; in 2010 Chicago reported 86,767 cases of rape but used its own broader definition, so the FBI left out the Chicago stats. Finally, in 2012, the FBI revised its definition and focused on penetration, with no mention of female (or force).

Data hasn’t been calculated under the new FBI definition yet, but Stemple parses several other national surveys in her new paper, “The Sexual Victimization of Men in America: New Data Challenge Old Assumptions,” co-written with Ilan Meyer and published in the April 17 edition of the American Journal of Public Health. One of those surveys is the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, for which the Centers for Disease Control invented a category of sexual violence called “being made to penetrate.” This definition includes victims who were forced to penetrate someone else with their own body parts, either by physical force or coercion, or when the victim was drunk or high or otherwise unable to consent. When those cases were taken into account, the rates of nonconsensual sexual contact basically equalized, with 1.270 million women and 1.267 million men claiming to be victims of sexual violence.

We might assume that if a man has an erection he must want sex. But imagine if the same were said about women.
“Made to penetrate” is an awkward phrase that hasn’t gotten any traction. It’s also something we instinctively don’t associate with sexual assault. But is it possible our instincts are all wrong here? We might assume, for example, that if a man has an erection he must want sex, especially because we assume men are sexually insatiable. But imagine if the same were said about women. The mere presence of physiological symptoms associated with arousal does not in fact indicate actual arousal, much less willing participation. And the high degree of depression and dysfunction among male victims of sexual abuse backs this up. At the very least, the phrase remedies an obvious injustice. Under the old FBI definition, what happened to Rafael Yglesias would only have counted as rape if he’d been an 8-year-old girl. Accepting the term “made to penetrate” helps us understand that trauma comes in all forms.

So why are men suddenly showing up as victims? Every comedian has a prison rape joke and prosecutions of sexual crimes against men are still rare. But gender norms are shaking loose in a way that allows men to identify themselvesâ€"if the survey is sensitive and specific enoughâ€"as vulnerable. A recent analysis of BJS data, for example, turned up that 46 percent of male victims reported a female perpetrator.

The final outrage in Stemple and Meyer’s paper involves inmates, who aren’t counted in the general statistics at all. In the last few years, the BJS did two studies in adult prisons, jails, and juvenile facilities. The surveys were excellent because they afforded lots of privacy and asked questions using very specific, informal, and graphic language. (“Did another inmate use physical force to make you give or receive a blow job?”) Those surveys turned up the opposite of what we generally think is true. Women were more likely to be abused by fellow female inmates, and men by guards, and many of those guards were female. For example, of juveniles reporting staff sexual misconduct, 89 percent were boys reporting abuse by a female staff member. In total, inmates reported an astronomical 900,000 incidents of sexual abuse.

Now the question is, in a climate when politicians and the media are finally paying attention to military and campus sexual assault, should these new findings alter our national conversation about rape? Stemple is a longtime feminist who fully understands that men have historically used sexual violence to subjugate women and that in most countries they still do. As she sees it, feminism has fought long and hard to fight rape mythsâ€"that if a woman gets raped it’s somehow her fault, that she welcomed it in some way. But the same conversation needs to happen for men. By portraying sexual violence against men as aberrant, we prevent justice and compound the shame. And the conversation about men doesn’t need to shut down the one about women. “Compassion,” she says, “is not a finite resource.”

[stromboli]

Watched the video. The only point would be that for a man to have sex he has to be aroused enough for an erection. If he was in fact frightened of the situation he would not be able to. That a 15 year old boy got a blow job from an older woman might count as statutory rape because he was a minor and not accountable for that reason.

I'm sorry, but the fact that he went home with her implies complicity in the beginning. Why did he go home with an older woman in the first place? Being raped by a man is traumatic because it is forcible and even physically damaging. But a boy feeling bad because he got aroused and an older woman sucked his cock might stand as statutory rape, but the concept of multiple women dragging some guy into a back alley, forcing him to get an erection so they can perform sexual acts on him is a little hard to swallow. 

Hey, just my 2 cents. But I have never been a submissive man subject to dominance from anybody, period. And I have never been in any situation where that might occur. Might be a real thing but not in my world.

[Baruch]

A woman could use a blunt instrument on the man's ass ... it doesn't have to be a forced blow-job or forced bouncy-castle (woman on top).

[drunkenshoe]

stromboli, congratulations you have demonstrated every single fucked up thing; what ever is wrong with the perception of rape in human culture in one post. 

I'll just bother with the most basic ones.

-Rape is not required to be physically violent to be rape. There is no such thing as 'only forced male penetration = rape'.

-A person who consents to go with another person to some place, consents to be with another person in some place. They do not consent to have sex with them. Rape is the sexual act one is forced to have without giving consent. No means no. The boy going with her has nothing to do with her raping the boy. It could even be sexually intriguing for him at the beginning, doesn't change the fact she is a fucking rapist. Rapist: the person that raped someone. Simple as this. It's a fucking spade.

If she was a man he would be crucified and raped in prison. E: Obviously never supporting the latter. She is a woman and she is free after commiting a crime a man would lost his life over. This is not some seperate law issue from many other in the societies.

Your perception is not sensitive or insensitive, it is ignorant, wrong, ignores human reality. It's misandrist+misogynist = patriarchal. 


I am banning anyone over 60 from discussing rape.