What do people do all day once they get to heaven?

[stromboli]

If all dogs go to heaven does that mean will be picking up dog poop for eternity? I have experience in that area.

[Baruch]

If all dogs go to heaven does that mean will be picking up dog poop for eternity? I have experience in that area.

Cats are essential too ... Hell is a cat box.  They don't like to dirty up Heaven ;-)

[Munch]

If all dogs go to heaven does that mean will be picking up dog poop for eternity? I have experience in that area.

Where as cats go to hell apparently, so it looks a lot neater, its just that cats know how to hide it a lot better.

[drunkenshoe]

TBH the thought of having sex with a lot of dead and/or imaginary people doesn't really do it for me.

I'd like to think it'd be like exploring the universe or something similar to that. That'd be at least iinteresting.

Hey, Fidel. *Waves.

Apparently, we also get to worship more.

[T7ven]

Jesus suggested that we take out our eyes and cut off out hands to avoid sin in the Bible. So if no sin is completely forced in heaven, then I guess we'll be blind and unable to masturbate. I suppose it really isn't great like it says.

[Baruch]

Shoe - in rabbinical Judaism, all the saved Jewish men get to go to yeshivah all day ... the more virtuous you are, the better rabbi you get to lecture you.  The very best get Moses.  The saved Jewish women, get to make lunch ;-))

[Baruch]

Jesus suggested that we take out our eyes and cut off out hands to avoid sin in the Bible. So if no sin is completely forced in heaven, then I guess we'll be blind and unable to masturbate. I suppose it really isn't great like it says.

Supposedly the righteous in heave retain their scars from their martyrdom.  And it is more Type-A if the maiming was self-maiming.  You also have to realize that in traditional Jewish burial, you get reunited with your severed limbs/body parts ... they are kept around until your funeral ... maybe even your prepuce from your circumcision ;-)  So in this shocking image said by Jesus ... that eye and that hand will be with you ... so show off with.

Paul on the other hand, dodged all this, and said we got spiritual bodies in place of our Earthly bodies ... because it was important that "body" = "form" you don't want to be formless like some cheap ghost.  Any vacuum cleaner around would suck you up ;-)  Later Christians however went back to the zombie model ... that people would arise from their physical graves, even the ocean, even as ashes (but this is why land burial was preferred to sea burial or cremation) and do the zombie apocalypse at the Last Judgement.  This is why zombie movies are such Medieval treats.  It is lame to show up at the zombie apocalypse, as a pile of ashes, rather than as a decayed worm eaten corpse.

[The Atheist]

Well, there is a huge divide between eastern and western Christianity on what our eternal fate is. In eastern Christianity (as well as in Judaism), there never developed belief in "original sin," which is a doctrine that became popular in the Latin-speaking western Christian world during the fourth and fifth centuries. While western Christianity (i.e., Catholicism and Protestantism) teaches that all suffer under original sin and hell is a "torture realm" for those still in original sin, eastern Christianity (The Orthodox Church) teaches that "Heaven" is theosis, or oneness, with God; the human species will re-harmonize with God.

Here's what shocks a lot of westerners. In Orthodox Christianity, heaven and hell are the same thing. God is seen as a "living fire who consumes all creation," to quote St. Paul. For the Orthodox, both the saved and the damned spend eternity in the fiery presence of God, but how this presence is experienced depends on the predisposition of the individual.

Many early church fathers compared the fire of God's presence to bright light. For the individual whose eyes have adjusted, the light is pleasant, but for the individual who's just awoken, the same light is painful.

Going back to original sin: The Orthodox Church rejects this doctrine. Instead, the human race is seen as being in disharmony with God. To quote St. Athanasius, "God became Man so that man might become God." Harmony with God, or theosis, is the end goal of all men, and when this is achieved through Christ at the end of time, eternity is spent growing deeper and closer to God.

Some Orthodox saints, such as Isaac of Syria, have even expressed belief that nobody will end up in hell, or that hell will be vanquished at the Second Coming. We in the west have a tendency to read the Bible with a very legalistic Catholic/Protestant mindset without realizing.

Not that it matters; it's all false.

[Johan]

My favorite thought experiment for theists: Think of the largest number you can possibly imagine. Lets use the lottery jackpot numbers since just about everyone likes to imagine that many dollars coming their way without any real work involved. Since we're in fantasy land lets say its a huge jackpot, maybe 500 million. Ok so picture that number in your head. Get a really good feel for how many dollars that really is and what those dollars would do for the remainder of your existence on this planet.

Now, take that number (500 million) and multiply it by itself. Then multiply the result by itself again. Then keep doing that until you've done it 500 million times and then try to imagine the number that results. Now here's the part where you expect me to say each one of those is an hour or a day or a year. But that's not what I'm going to say. Nope. Instead each and every one of those is a billion years. And now you begin to grasp just exactly what existing for all of eternity is like. Now what the fuck are you going to fill all that time with?

People buy into theism because they're terrified of the thought that this life on earth might be all there is. I opt out of theism because I'm terrified of the thought that this life on earth isn't all there is*.


*Ok that isn't really the reason I opt out of theism. But its a damn good reason to question what you choose to believe.

[gentle_dissident]

Aerobatics. I figure that's what the wings are for.

[PickelledEggs]

heaven is like Shang Tsung's Pit of Souls. The more souls he collects, the more powerful he becomes.

[ApostateLois]

People have very unimaginative scenarios about what to do in heaven. Apparently, the common scenario is het male sex fantasies: young beautiful virgins and worship more.

The Bible, itself, presents a very childish view of heaven: streets paved with gold, mansions for everyone, no bad stuff or negative feelings, jewels and gold all over the place. It's the sort of imaginary place that poor people would create, as they try to imagine what it would be like to be wealthy. The story of the rich man going to hell while Lazarus, the poor man who had nothing, goes to heaven for no other reason than because he was poor, confirms heaven as the poor man's revenge fantasy.

[gentle_dissident]

[LittleNipper]

Jesus suggested that we take out our eyes and cut off out hands to avoid sin in the Bible. So if no sin is completely forced in heaven, then I guess we'll be blind and unable to masturbate. I suppose it really isn't great like it says.

There is sarcasm in the Bible. God basically is saying that there is far more enjoyment in heaven with various body parts missing than there is anywhere else with everything intact.

[ApostateLois]

There is sarcasm in the Bible. God basically is saying that there is far more enjoyment in heaven with various body parts missing than there is anywhere else with everything intact.

Enjoyment from doing what?