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Has anyone seen my Helmet of Faith?

Started by 1liesalot, September 17, 2015, 09:30:56 PM

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1liesalot

I can't find my Helmet of Faith. If God smites me before I can find it, I will be fucked and will burn in eternal hell fire. Have you ever made the same mistake and what did you do about it?

Termin

Termin 1:1

Evolution is probably the slowest biological process on planet earth, the only one that comes close is the understanding of it by creationists.

aitm

Thank goodness, I thought this was going to be something completely different.
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

peacewithoutgod

If it happens to be made of tinfoil, just make another one - when you believe you're fucked by an all-knowing god who sees everything, there may be nothing you can do about that other than to find out for sure what this god really knows. Think of it as Pascal's Wager in reverse - maybe you aren't really fucked because god isn't really what he's said to be.
There are two types of ideas: fact and non-fact. Ideas which are not falsifiable are non-fact, therefore please don't insist your fantasies of supernatural beings are in any way factual.

Doctrine = not to be questioned = not to be proven = not fact. When you declare your doctrine fact, you lie.

CrucifyCindy

Did you roll the 20 sided dice and use your Wand of Finding Hidden Objects?
“Rational thought is a failed experiment and should be phased out.”
 William S. Burroughs

حسن اÙ,,صباح - Ù,,يس هناك Ù...ا هو صحيح ØŒ ÙƒÙ,, شيء Ù...سÙ...وح به

Unbeliever

Quote from: 1liesalot on September 17, 2015, 09:30:56 PM
I can't find my Helmet of Faith. If God smites me before I can find it, I will be fucked and will burn in eternal hell fire. Have you ever made the same mistake and what did you do about it?

You'll probably find that it's somewhere north, east, south and west of Baghdad. Maybe around Tikrit.
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

josephpalazzo

It's called a Helmet of Salvation... idiot atheists  :hang:

Mike Cl

Quote from: josephpalazzo on September 18, 2015, 06:56:04 PM
It's called a Helmet of Salvation... idiot atheists  :hang:
I thought that was the Helmet of Salivation.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

stromboli


GrinningYMIR

Quote from: CrucifyCindy on September 18, 2015, 01:17:04 AM
Did you roll the 20 sided dice and use your Wand of Finding Hidden Objects?

he rolled a 1 and found a half eaten twix and a used condom
"Human history is a litany of blood shed over differing ideals of rulership and afterlife"<br /><br />Governor of the 32nd Province of the New Lunar Republic. Luna Nobis Custodit

ApostateLois



It's the SHIELD of faith, you sillyhead! It gives you something to hide behind whenever a mean old atheist attacks you with logical arguments about evolution. Ideally, your Jesus-armor should be of First Century Roman design. I don't know why, but God likes that style best.

And don't forget the most important part: the visor of blind belief!

"Now we see through a glass dumbly." ~Crow, MST3K #903, "Puma Man"

Baruch

Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

1liesalot

Quote from: Termin on September 17, 2015, 09:44:04 PM
Did you look under the couch ?

Yes, but all I could find was my Salvation Helmet.

josephpalazzo

Problem with it is that it's too big. You can't tell someone to shove it up your ass.

1liesalot

Quote from: ApostateLois on September 24, 2015, 04:39:07 PM


It's the SHIELD of faith, you sillyhead! It gives you something to hide behind whenever a mean old atheist attacks you with logical arguments about evolution. Ideally, your Jesus-armor should be of First Century Roman design. I don't know why, but God likes that style best.

And don't forget the most important part: the visor of blind belief!



Damn you to hell, scoffer! You're in trouble now for today is the end of the world and you have no Helmet of Salvation.