Rapture September 23, 2015. You Have Been Warned. (Again)

[stromboli]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjtwvL01f0g

tl;dr- based on the eye of Osiris, pyramid measurements, some other shit. some woo for you-u-u-uu.

Won't happen. I have a doctor's appointment.

And oh yeah, this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2TPeW_QBlE&feature=youtu.be

[Draconic Aiur]

hope some idiots die

[NakedTracyBlack]

As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture.  Pets don't get taken in the rapture either.  So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you!  can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world.  While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings.  Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015.  Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.

*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.

[Hydra009]

I wasn't very convinced by the second video, but then I saw his youtube comment that says that the Bible says there would be scoffers and that's 100% true.  Who could've possibly predicted something as far-fetched as that?!  Not the people who wrote the Bible!

Also, there are unambiguous signs of the end times - blood moons and eclipses.  And what's more, it's the "70th Jubilee (celebrated every 49 years) since the flood that occurs on September 23 on the day of atonement which is the day of the Lord (judgement) and the day of Christ (rapture)".  49 X 70 = 3430.  I mean, if you can't look at that number and think of judgment day, then you must be really dumb.  And speaking of really dumb, it sure was nice of God to take this guy who clearly suffers from some sort of anxiety issue and tell him about the imminent end of the world, knowing full well that he'd be written off as a loon by most sensible people.  Attaboy, God!

[Youssuf Ramadan]

Bring it on. The last few have been fucking hilarious.  Where is Harold Camping these days? Is he dead yet?  He won't want to miss this.... again....

[Baruch]

Well, supposedly Jewish apocalypses are more genuine than Mayan apocalypses ;-)  I know one Jewish person who is afraid of the shmitah / blood moon thing, he posted on another blog over a year ago about it.  The problem with all calendrical apocalypses, when a calendar runs out of pages, you just go down to the bank and they give you a free one for the coming year.

In ancient Jewish culture, there were three new years per year (we like to party).  The one in the Fall is special, because it is before the Day of Atonement.  But reputable authority says this was only true since the 4th century (when the current Hebrew calendar was invented by the rabbis) ... that originally the Day of Atonement happened right after the Spring new year ... but after the "victory" of Christianity under Constantine ... the rabbis wanted to "mess" with the Christians ;-))

However Gentiles do like synchrony ... they use the Hebrew calendar to plan when they are going to do something evil to Jewish people.  So if there were going to be a nuclear war against Israel ... it would be either near the anniversary of the destruction of the Temple (twice ... thanks Germans, Romans and Babylonians) or near the Day of Atonement.

[josephpalazzo]

[SGOS]

Won't happen. I have a doctor's appointment.

This is so strange.  I have a doctor's appointment on the 23rd, also.  Since I've heard it said that, "There are no coincidences," I suspect we have been guided by a divine hand, and that the doctor's appointments are somehow a part of a greater plan, which will only be revealed at the proper time.  Or alternatively, the simultaneous scheduling of these appointments may have been necessary to create a doomsday vortex that will facilitate the rapture.

[peacewithoutgod]

Oh please, let it happen this time - take all these shitheads away from here, somebody! Anybody!!! Shoot them into space, shoot them with a gun, drown them in the ocean, or send them into the Sun, but however you do it, shut them up and make it eternal.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture.  Pets don't get taken in the rapture either.  So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you!  can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world.  While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings.  Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015.  Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.

*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.

If I were you I'd advertise that on craigslist because all those craigslist checks are good.

[NoahsArk]

As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture.  Pets don't get taken in the rapture either.  So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you!  can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world.  While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings.  Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015.  Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.

*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.


The Lord may come back this month to take his Church or not.  But it will happen, and when it doesn't it won't be a laughing matter.  Today is the day to repent and accept His free gift of Jesus' sacrifice before it is too late.

[GSOgymrat]

I enjoyed the second video.

[SGOS]

Heaven without pets would be Hell.  My dog genuinely likes me.  There's not a doubt in my mind.  Maybe I'm just a meal ticket to him, but whatever the thing is that he's feeling is just fine by me.  I don't get anything from the alleged god,  I don't feel loved or hated.  I don't even sense an indifference.  It's like he's not there.  I'll stay on earth with my canine friend and companion, rather than go to heaven and be in the presence of a god who acts like he doesn't exist at all.  What's the fun in that? 

[stromboli]

My day is complete. Noah is here to preach to us.

[stromboli]

And just a reminder, here is the wiki on Rapture predictions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events

I was going to count them but lost interest after 100. Maybe Noah can count them for us.