How long before Yahweh starts punishing America for legalizing gay marriage?

[Ace101]

How long before the earthquakes, tornados, and hurricanes start, which Pat Robertson and the like predicted? Or for that matter, how long before the rapture and armageddon?

[Hydra009]

Hurricane season is coming up, so probably pretty soon.  Gotta love Post Hoc reasoning.

[Munch]

Theres a current heat wave here in the UK - "GODS WRATH ON THE BRITISH FOR ALLOWING SODOMITES TO MARRY!!"

Cool weather comes in "God has given relief to his believers"

Non-religious man catches Ebola when helping in africa - "GODS WRATH ON THEM FOR ALLOWING SODOMITES TO MARRY!!"

Christian woman catches ebola - "God works in mysterious ways"

[Johan]

There was an earthquake in Michigan two days ago. I didn't feel it but several people in my office did. Apparently god now is sending earthquakes that only his followers can feel.

[Munch]

There was an earthquake in Michigan two days ago. I didn't feel it but several people in my office did. Apparently god now is sending earthquakes that only his followers can feel.

Nah, it's really the butt plugs set to vibrate they shove in every morning before work.

[Baruch]

Magical thinking is a common human trait.  Particularly the magic of the free lunch.  Most people don't visit witch doctors anymore, but they do listen to what economists are saying.  I would sacrifice my cat to determine the will of the gods ... but my cat strangely objects to this.

I live in a region where many people feel that if an opposed X happens or if and opposed Y which did happen, isn't reversed ... then the rain won't come, the crops will wither, and the animals will not give birth or will die.  This is a common belief in agricultural communities that still rely on water witching.  I try to pretend I am a anthropologist studying an Amazonian tribe ;-)

[Solitary]

I think it will be an Aleph before He does.

[Baruch]

I love little known facts ... for example, the letter A comes from Alpha, which comes from Alef.  If you look carefully, this is a pictogram of an ox head turned upside down.  When it was originally written in the Sinai desert by Semitic hard labor under the Egyptian lash ... nobody volunteers to mine copper and turquoise in the Sinai Desert ... the partially literate "capos" needed to make pictographic prayers to the Egyptian gods, including Hathor ... the cow goddess of childbirth (who is still worshipped at Dendera on the Nile, in secret, by pregnant mothers.

But there could be other origins ... for example in the Neolithic, at Catal Huyuk in Turkey, some of the first people to live in a city (we would compare it to a SW Pueblo village) worshipped the aurochs ... the primitive pre-domesticated bull.  This is part of the worship on Crete at a later date, and how the Canaanite Princess ... Europa was kidnapped by the bull god for a little trist in early Greece (she is the ancestor of King Minos ... and thus of the minotaur thru Queen Pasiphae).  Or this could equally be the symbol of the goat, of a satyr, or of Hellboy ;-)  Do not quite ... Hell freezing over ... though it should, because Hell is the Norse cold place that bad people go to.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I'm already feeling yahweh's wrath. I forgot to plug my phone in last night and yahweh made it die, but someone somewhere prayed and when I plugged it back in it worked again!  A MIRACLE! 

[dtq123]

How Long? I'd say after I'm done pissing on the bible

[AllPurposeAtheist]

How Long? I'd say after I'm done pissing on the bible

Thank the Lord for penicillin!

[Baruch]

AllPurposeAtheist ... Actually the recharge of your cell phone battery is a miracle ... aka local reversal of the flow of entropy.  All of life involves local reversal of the flow of entropy.  But don't worry about thermodynamics being wrong .. this reversal is over compensated by the usual increase in entropy ... provided by Congress ;-)

[Sal1981]

How long before the earthquakes, tornados, and hurricanes start, which Pat Robertson and the like predicted? Or for that matter, how long before the rapture and armageddon?

[Baruch]

Also free clothes for those left behind.  The one's raptured are those right behind, because nobody likes a half-assed answer to their problems.  Also why does G-d want a bunch of naked people for anyway? ;-))

[Munch]

Eew, I just thought, when Pat Robertson gets raptured, he'll be naked..