Texas teenager sees Jesus

[Mermaid]

http://fox13now.com/2015/05/15/texas-teen-says-he-saw-jesus-seconds-before-being-revived/
FORT WORTH, Texas â€" A Texas teenager claims he saw Jesus seconds before he was revived.

Zack Clements, 17, collapsed last week while running during P.E. class at Victory Life Academy in Brownwood, Texas. He was rushed to the hospital where doctors worked to revive him.

Clements was reportedly without a heartbeat for 20 minutes, according to CBS Dallas/Fort Worth. He was eventually airlifted to Cook Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth where he would not wake up until several days later.

While his quick recovery has been hard to believe, the story he is telling is equally amazing.

“When I was out those 20 minutes, I saw a man who had long ruffled hair and kind of a thick beard, and it didn’t take me long to realize that that was Jesus,”Clements said.

His family is convinced it was a miracle.

“I went up to him and he put his hand on my shoulder and he told me everything would be alright and not to worry,” he said.

The boy’s father, Billy Clements, said he knows it’s a difficult story to believe, but it’s the only thing that makes sense.

“For him to wake up and tell us something he experienced like that. It’s just you can’t explain it. It’s not humanly possible to explain it,” said Billy Clements.

[stromboli]

When I was coming out of surgery after my motorcycle accident, I experienced panic. From out of nowhere a soft voice comforted me and I felt as though someone touched my shoulder. It was a miracle. Oh wait, it was the nurse. 

[SGOS]

Some kids will do anything to get out of an hour of PE.

[kilodelta]

“For him to wake up and tell us something he experienced like that. It’s just you can’t explain it. It’s not humanly possible to explain it,” said Billy Clements.

...so, let me explain it by saying "it was Jesus."

A lot of thought went into this thing.

[aitm]

I had a dream where I fucked Jessica Alba and told a friend who told another,  "For him to wake up and tell us something he experienced like that. It’s just you can’t explain it. It’s not humanly possible to explain it"

[TomFoolery]

“When I was out those 20 minutes, I saw a man who had long ruffled hair and kind of a thick beard, and it didn’t take me long to realize that that was Jesus,”Clements said.

Was it whitewashed Jesus? Replete with fair skin, golden hair, cherubic cheeks, and gold-trimmed immaculate white robes? That's how I like my Jesus.

[kilodelta]

Was it whitewashed Jesus? Replete with fair skin, golden hair, cherubic cheeks, and gold-trimmed immaculate white robes? That's how I like my Jesus.

Don't forget that the Jesus needs those sick abs.

[SGOS]

Was it whitewashed Jesus? Replete with fair skin, golden hair, cherubic cheeks, and gold-trimmed immaculate white robes? That's how I like my Jesus.

I was always a bit envious of his beard.  It was a fine beard, although some artists painted it wrong and made it look wimpy.  I don't know why they would do that.  Everyone knows what Jesus looks like.  His picture adorns bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens, and dining rooms.  I even saw the same picture in a bathroom once.  Nearly, all the pictures are identical with Jesus kneeling in a shaft of golden sunlight.  You know the one I'm talking about.  Everyone knows the real Jesus.

Mohammed is a bit of a mystery, however.  As far as I know, he must have been a cartoon or a stick figure in real life.  Sometimes he has a startled expression, with his hair standing straight up, like he just farted by accident in public.  Other times, he looks like a bloody axe murderer holding a implement of death.  Why his cartoons always look different I don't know.  I can identify Homer Simpson easily, but Mohammed always changes.

[Solitary]

My son came conscious again after a very long surgery and saw a barn owl flying around the hospital room. You can't explain that.  Solitary

[trdsf]

“When I was out those 20 minutes, I saw a man who had long ruffled hair and kind of a thick beard, and it didn’t take me long to realize that that was Jesus,”Clements said.

Hm.  Long ruffled hair and a thick beard?



Holy shit!  He saw Jerry Garcia!

[SGOS]

My son came conscious again after a very long surgery and saw a barn owl flying around the hospital room. You can't explain that.  Solitary

No you can't explain a barn owl.  Was he sure it wasn't a pigeon?

[drunkenshoe]

I wouldn't object to something like this appering to me when I am lying in bed. I prefer darker hair, but hey, I promise I'll worship him on all fours.

[Munch]

Hey, thats great, I found jesus too!!

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Of course it's the only thing that makes sense..It couldn't possibly have been a male nurse or even a doctor or *gasp! "He just fucking made it up!" No, of course not. Everyone knows Jesus is scheduled to appear at the hospital in Brownwood, Texas..It's in scripture!

[Atheon]

Well, I'm convinced. PRAISSSSEEEEEE JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZUZ!!!!!