Vatican reeling as DNA tests show communion wafers contain 0% Christ

[PickelledEggs]

The findings are sure to pile further pressure on the ailing religious organisation, just days after their Chief Executive resigned citing ‘personal reasons’ and ‘being a bit old’.

The news will concern billions of Catholic consumers, previously led to believe they were consuming Christ himself each Sunday morning during mass.

Catholic Simon Williams told us, “So what have I been eating all these years? It’s not horse again is it?”

“It’s always had a funny taste that I couldn’t quite place. But having been a choir boy in the catholic church I grew up being told by priests that putting strange things in my mouth was the done thing.”

“That said, with the amount of cash I’m encouraged to put in the collection plate on a Sunday morning I can’t believe they’re scrimping on the ingredients.”

“You’ll be telling me next that the stuff they dip the wafer in isn’t actually blood.”

http://newsthump.com/2013/03/03/vatican-reeling-as-dna-tests-show-communion-wafers-contain-0-christ/

[kilodelta]

That's just not possible. Run the DNA test again!

[aitm]

Put "The Logical One" in charge…i am sure he can get two out of one and seven.

[PickelledEggs]

That's just not possible. Run the DNA test again!

It might be homeopathic... only containing .0001% christ. Maybe their dna checker doesn't display that far in decimals

[GrinningYMIR]

I demand consuming the actual Christ! I don't want to be consuming moses or that prick paul!

[Munch]

I.. I don't... how.. I...



I think my brain just dissolved..

by galactus crotch.. I've seem some reports before of the amusing things Christians believe, but..
There are not enough Picard facepalms on the net to cover this one..

[stromboli]

[PickelledEggs]

I.. I don't... how.. I...



I think my brain just dissolved..

by galactus crotch.. I've seem some reports before of the amusing things Christians believe, but..
There are not enough Picard facepalms on the net to cover this one..

Munch, It's satire, did you click the link? or just read the quote?

[stromboli]

They went gluten free. God was in the gluten. 

[Mr.Obvious]

Munch, It's satire, did you click the link? or just read the quote?

I guessed it was satire. But let's admit, sometimes it's hard to tell.

[SGOS]

Does anyone ever read the ingredients list on the box those wafers come in?

[Green Bottle]

Where these crazy cathaholics are concerned sometimes you just cant tell the Satire from the true Bullshitt....

[doorknob]

Yeah I was raised catholic and as a kid I can tell you that we were taught that the wafer is the body and wine is the blood of Christ. I just took it to mean Christ was made out of bread and wine.

[SGOS]

I think a true Communion would pass out chunks of  heavily crusted broken bread that came out of a brick kiln, not something I used to feed my goldfish.

[Unbeliever]

So we can no longer call Catholics "God-eating cannibals"?

Drat!