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Post your funny pictures here!!! part Deux

Started by Nam, July 26, 2014, 08:19:18 PM

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Blackleaf

Couldn't he have...I dunno, made the tree instantly produce fruit instead? Him cursing a tree for not having fruit in it out of season just makes him look like he's throwing a hissy fit.

"My Lord. Figs don't grow this time of year."

"But I wanted a fig! I want it! I want it! I want it! Stupid tree!"
"Oh, wearisome condition of humanity,
Born under one law, to another bound;
Vainly begot, and yet forbidden vanity,
Created sick, commanded to be sound."
--Fulke Greville--

Unbeliever

#11311
Yeah. He was, after all, supposed to be God incarnate, the Lord of Life, etc.! He could simply have caused figs to burst forth in abundance - or for that matter, bread and fish. Or the tree should simply have fruited by itself just because he was near.

Turns out, though, that the whole story was merely an allegory, as it was wrapped around the story of the temple money changers. I don't have time to go into it now, though, maybe later I could devote some time to it, or just point in the right direction on the web.
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

drunkenshoe

#11312
Quote from: the_antithesis on September 07, 2022, 10:54:35 AMEh, not exactly what the story is about, at least by the end of that passage.

So it's about believing in the power of prayer and faith. He just murdered a tree to prove the point. I always though this one sent a mixed message.

OK. LOL, so the poor fig tree suffered too. Of course, it's about prayer and faith. I was trying to point out that the parable -or whatever they were aiming at with that- is so moronically inconsistent in itself, for its type, it's worse than the other fairy tale versions considering its purpose.

People who have constructed, written-rewritten these texts are not as stupid as most people think. There is a reason why they are so varied, even twisted and fucked up in different ways. Their purpose is not to spread good or order, it's about convincing, like bugging minds for control.

We have known for a looong time that riding three headed sharks or some mythical animals is bullshit, and this is not something about modern times. Not even middle ages. People have thought these were just tales equally long time ago, actually long before biblical texts, not because of some knowledge or information or reason, but just because of puritanistic tendencies in faith.

Marketing. In my opinion, that's why there are plain examples like this -albeit with same moronity- and others like hollywood movie scenes. Most people were deep in nature just 300 years ago. Fishing, hunting...trying to survive. Noone has ever seen a monster. You can tell these stories in the church all you want, the woodcutter and the fishermen will not buy your stories, at most they will think monsters in the bible were long gone with faith, but the other plain ones with nature will have some affect.

Same thing goes for today too. But unfortunately, the monster stories actually works better today because most people do not interact with nature anymore. We've had factories and machines for a long time. Who knows what's going on deep in the woods, eh? LOL

I don't know if it makes sense. Not sure, I successfully expressed what I was thinking.


"his philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -the cynics, the stoics and the epicureans-and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'you can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.'" terry pratchett

drunkenshoe

#11313
Quote from: Blackleaf on September 07, 2022, 11:24:25 AMCouldn't he have...I dunno, made the tree instantly produce fruit instead? Him cursing a tree for not having fruit in it out of season just makes him look like he's throwing a hissy fit.

"My Lord. Figs don't grow this time of year."

"But I wanted a fig! I want it! I want it! I want it! Stupid tree!"

Yeah...technically he should be able to. Instead of the petty reaction. And that's the marketing with miracles.
"his philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -the cynics, the stoics and the epicureans-and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'you can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.'" terry pratchett

Mike Cl

Quote from: drunkenshoe on September 07, 2022, 11:40:14 AMOK. LOL, so the poor fig tree suffered too. Of course, it's about prayer and faith. I was trying to point out that the parable -or whatever they were aiming at with that- is so moronically inconsistent in itself, for its type, it's worse than the other fairy tale versions considering its purpose.

People who have constructed, written-rewritten these texts are not as stupid as most people think. There is a reason why they are so varied, even twisted and fucked up in different ways. Their purpose is not to spread good or order, it's about convincing, like bugging minds for control.

We have known for a looong time that riding three headed sharks or some mythical animals is bullshit, and this is not something about modern times. Not even middle ages. People have thought these were just tales equally long time ago, actually long before biblical texts, not because of some knowledge or information or reason, but just because of puritanistic tendencies in faith.

Marketing. In my opinion, that's why there are plain examples like this -albeit with same moronity- and others like hollywood movie scenes. Most people were deep in nature just 300 years ago. Fishing, hunting...trying to survive. Noone has ever seen a monster. You can tell these stories in the church all you want, the woodcutter and the fishermen will not buy your stories, at most they will think monsters in the bible were long gone with faith, but the other plain ones with nature will have some affect.

Same thing goes for today too. But unfortunately, the monster stories actually works better today because most people do not interact with nature anymore. We've had factories and machines for a long time. Who knows what's going on deep in the woods, eh? LOL

I don't know if it makes sense. Not sure, I successfully expressed what I was thinking.



I have come to realize that the editors of the bible were master propagandists of the highest order.  Not only in selecting various texts (and destroying most others) but in how they were put together.  Masterful!  And it was all aimed at control and gaining wealth for the leaders; and hence power.  They were not stupid people.  Not good, but not stupid.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

drunkenshoe

There is an ever standing perfect joker card with human. Or any organic intelligent being. Fear of the dark. Evolution. You can use that the way you want, if you know how, according to any time or period. Chuck anything in it you like, following that principle. Just customize it.
"his philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -the cynics, the stoics and the epicureans-and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'you can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.'" terry pratchett

Unbeliever

And remember, the vast majority of people, until relatively recently, couldn't read a word of the Bible, so only the approved authorities knew anything at all about what was in it.
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Hydra009

Quote from: the_antithesis on September 07, 2022, 10:54:35 AMSo it's about believing in the power of prayer and faith. He just murdered a tree to prove the point. I always though this one sent a mixed message.
It could also be a way to sneak in some religious doubt by wrapping in faith a story about an irate messiah, impotently waiting for nature to provide for him (think of the implications of that).  The "writer" (oral story-teller, most likely) could just say that the story is ultimately about faith and magic so that orthodox people are content, but anyone with a skeptical bent will take away a completely different message. 

Same with iron chariots and Elisha's bears and Noah's drunken incest-rape.  They're all very orthodox-affirming. *wink wink*

Shiranu

Quote from: Mike Cl on September 07, 2022, 12:29:51 PMI have come to realize that the editors of the bible were master propagandists of the highest order.  Not only in selecting various texts (and destroying most others) but in how they were put together.  Masterful!  And it was all aimed at control and gaining wealth for the leaders; and hence power.  They were not stupid people.  Not good, but not stupid.
When you look at the earliest Christian martyrs, you see how "un-Christian" they are compared to the acts of saints after Rome converted to Christianity; they did things like feed the poor, protect women's rights, promoted freedom.

After the conversion of the imperial elite, suddenly saints all started being lords, warriors, and other powerful men who ran the European world. Funny how that worked out...

But Rome rules our church; Rome rules our politics; Rome rules our language itself, both the alphabet and things like the months; Rome rules our architecture; Rome rules our economic system; Rome rules our philosophy, our history, our education.

The Roman Empire never died, it just left Rome and took various other forms. It's still been going strong, 2000 years later, because an empire is never about the place, it's about control.

The Rastafari see "Babylon" as all that is evil in the world today - I think they simply got the wrong empire.
"A little science distances you from God, but a lot of science brings you nearer to Him." - Louis Pasteur

Unbeliever

The entire New Testament was a forgery. Everything in it was made up in order to create a universal religion. The word "catholic" means universal. You don't have to take my word for it, either. Just click on the God Not Found link at the bottom of this page, scroll down to The Bible, click on that then click on Bible Studies and Critiques. Once on that page just scroll down to The Forged Origins of the New Testament and you'll see how Constantine caused Christianity to be invented. It's a bit of a read, but you'll find out all you need to know about the origin of Christianity. It is all a sham!


God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Gawdzilla Sama

Constantine never converted, right?
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Unbeliever

Nah, that's just another part of the myth.
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Gawdzilla Sama

We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Shiranu

Quote from: Unbeliever on September 07, 2022, 07:08:28 PMThe entire New Testament was a forgery. Everything in it was made up in order to create a universal religion. The word "catholic" means universal. You don't have to take my word for it, either. Just click on the God Not Found link at the bottom of this page, scroll down to The Bible, click on that then click on Bible Studies and Critiques. Once on that page just scroll down to The Forged Origins of the New Testament and you'll see how Constantine caused Christianity to be invented. It's a bit of a read, but you'll find out all you need to know about the origin of Christianity. It is all a sham!




St. Etienne died in 34 AD, and his story is in the New Testament - Acts 6 to Acts 7, so it clearly isn't entirely made up.
"A little science distances you from God, but a lot of science brings you nearer to Him." - Louis Pasteur

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman