Does anyone feel sorry for Satan?

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Satan.... Santa. Same letters... same red suit.... same guy.

Kid 1. I GOT A PONY!
Kid 2. I GOT A BIKE!!
Kid 3. I got a rock.
Santa: That's because you're going to HELL you little bastard!  Next life eat your Brussels sprouts.

The moral to the story.. Satan likes Brussels sprouts and I do too!

[Munch]

Kid 1. I GOT A PONY!
Kid 2. I GOT A BIKE!!
Kid 3. I got a rock.
Santa: That's because you're going to HELL you little bastard!  Next life eat your Brussels sprouts.

The moral to the story.. Satan likes Brussels sprouts and I do too!

I cook sprouts in stock with bacon lardons and pancetta cheese. Anything that can dull the flavor of sprouts.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I cook sprouts in stock with bacon lardons and pancetta cheese. Anything that can dull the flavor of sprouts.

You're getting rocks for Christmas for that! And for using the term pork lardon..  It just sounds pornographic!

[Munch]

You're getting rocks for Christmas for that! And for using the term pork lardon..  It just sounds pornographic!

I heat the lardons on my moobs first, gets them extra savory.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Mmmmm..mooooobs.. Or moobies?

[leo]

The real season Satan was  banished from heaven is because he said many blasphemies  against Chuck Norris. Yahveh was  afraid  about Chuck Norris getting mad. Chuck Norris would destroy EVERYTHING with his roundhouse kick. Yahveh is okay with slavery , stoning people for breaking stupid Bible rules. Yahveh is okay with the treatment of women like shit. Yahveh is okay with jews killing all the rival tribes. Killing everyone except young atractive girls. What a nice god is Yahveh. Yahveh is a asshole because he knows the most powerful god is Chuck Norris.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

So the most powerful godâ,,¢ has to hawk exercise equipment on late night TV? If he's that powerful then he could just turn everyone into buff tough guys and gals while they merely sit on their fat asses eating bonbons watching teevee.
Ye, have no faith in this most powerful godâ,,¢ for he is just a washed up actor and right wing shill not to mention the prophecy of 1000 years of darkness after Obama's reelection hasn't come to be..

[Munch]

Yeah, I can just imagine a conversation with a preacher spreading hell and damnation.

"You are going to hell unless you repent and pray to the lawd!!"
"But didn't god kill like everyone on earth when he caused the floods?"
"God is our salvation!"
"Didn't he order an old man to kill his son, but then had an angel tell him to not do it seconds before he was about it?"
"Praise Jesus!!"
"Didn't god also cause plague, disease, famine and death to good and bad people in egypt just to show he could?"
"urm... PRAISE THE LAWD!!"
"And didn't god make hell to send people who counted as sinners?"
"YES, BURN ALL SINNERS!"
"So really, the devil just got thrown into a job god made for him to do"
"Ah.. urr... PRAISE.. JESUS!"
"And all lucy did was tell god he was a dickhole?"
"THE DEVIL BE DAMNED!"
"take your meds"

[leo]

So the most powerful godâ,,¢ has to hawk exercise equipment on late night TV? If he's that powerful then he could just turn everyone into buff tough guys and gals while they merely sit on their fat asses eating bonbons watching teevee.
Ye, have no faith in this most powerful godâ,,¢ for he is just a washed up actor and right wing shill not to mention the prophecy of 1000 years of darkness after Obama's reelection hasn't come to be..

Chuck Norris doesn't give a shit about humans beings. He is a selfcentered asshole  like all  gods. The  Gods want your worship . They don't want to help you or anyone. The Chuck Norris deity is also racist. Chuck hates Obama because he is black. That's why he said the 1000 years of darkness bullshit. Yup gods are liars too.

[leo]

Yeah, I can just imagine a conversation with a preacher spreading hell and damnation.

"You are going to hell unless you repent and pray to the lawd!!"
"But didn't god kill like everyone on earth when he caused the floods?"
"God is our salvation!"
"Didn't he order an old man to kill his son, but then had an angel tell him to not do it seconds before he was about it?"
"Praise Jesus!!"
"Didn't god also cause plague, disease, famine and death to good and bad people in egypt just to show he could?"
"urm... PRAISE THE LAWD!!"
"And didn't god make hell to send people who counted as sinners?"
"YES, BURN ALL SINNERS!"
"So really, the devil just got thrown into a job god made for him to do"
"Ah.. urr... PRAISE.. JESUS!"
"And all lucy did was tell god he was a dickhole?"
"THE DEVIL BE DAMNED!"
"take your meds"

I think many preachers don't believe the shit they say. They are telling stupid shit for the money. Long story short , they are lazy greedy bastards.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

That pretty much sums it up Leo.

Here's your Christmas rock..

[doorknob]

if satan wasn't a fictional character than yes I'd probably feel sorry for him. I also think it's bullshit that fallen angels can't repent the way humans can and earn redemption. That's a pretty shitty deal and I'd be equally pissed if it were me.

but yeah since he's not real I don't really think about it much.

[DunkleSeele]

Hey Doorknob, glad to see you back!

[Munch]

personally, I'd like to see them try and make a game much like dantes inferno or castlevania: Lords of Shadow or god or war, where you get to play as satan, and go up and kick gods ass.
The screams from christians would be like warm fluffy pancakes and vanilla icecream.

[Unbeliever]

poor satan, he has it pretty bad when you consider his story.

First he's an angel in heaven, but over time he starts to become aware of gods bullshit rules and laws, and so decides to rebel against his all powerful master, really he had the best of intent in mind.
He gets disfigured, and thrown down from heaven into a cesspit that god made, and makes him the lord of this cesspit.

And now, all bad things happening in the world gets put on satans head for it, meanwhile god carries on doing his genocidal mission to make peoples lives suffer, spreading discord among people, all who pray god for it and shun satan when bad things not made by god happen.

I recon he could be a cool anti hero type given the opportunity.



All he needs his a hug.

I've read books like that, such as the Sandman Slim novels.