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Replace Bible Character With "Florida Man"

Started by Blackleaf, May 17, 2023, 01:32:18 PM

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Blackleaf

I saw this on Reddit. I won't credit them, because they got it from someone else, and they don't remember who. But this is a simple idea. Take a Bible character's story, but replace their name with "Florida Man" or "Florida Woman."

Examples:

"Florida Man threatens to cut baby in half to stop women from bickering."

"Florida Man kills wife's family. Claims wife gave them answer to riddle."

"Engaged Florida Woman claims to be pregnant with God's baby."

"Florida Man offers daughters to satiate rape gang."

"Florida Woman salty she was forced to leave home city due to freak fire."
"Oh, wearisome condition of humanity,
Born under one law, to another bound;
Vainly begot, and yet forbidden vanity,
Created sick, commanded to be sound."
--Fulke Greville--

Mr.Obvious

Florida man sets bears on children.
Florida man: ┬┤never call me bald┬┤.

Florida couple befriends snake, proceed to steal fruit from orchard whilst naked, on it's instructions

Florida man claims to be god.

"If we have to go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, requesting 69.

Atheist Mantis does not pray.

Gawdzilla Sama

We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers