Marriage

[David.B-88]

What do people think of marriage from an atheist stand point. Do you see it as a thing that only religious people should do or think its a good idea? I've spoke to some other atheists who have said they don't think its worth it, "its just a bit of paper" etc.

I personally am married(3 months ago) and had an amazing wedding which was a Humanist ceromony conducted by a Humanist celebrant here in Scotland where Humanist weddings have over toook the amount of Catholic weddings and not far off Protestant ones.

Are weddings becoming more secular in general or are they still connected with various religions?

[Hijiri Byakuren]

Couldn't give less of a fuck, personally.

[stromboli]

Obvious legal reasons aside, such as inheritance, property ownership and so on, it is a matter of cementing a partnership over time.  My daughter married her long time partner/boyfriend after living together for 5 years, because they felt the relationship deserved the paper to go with it. They are both atheists.

Outside of any religious connotation, marriages have historically been for joining of tribes and clans and have significance in that area. In the speech I gave at my daughter's wedding I alluded to the joining of clans, which in many respects it still is.

[Mermaid]

We were married before we actually got married, the ceremony was just kind of a public declaration, and a legal one. Legally married people have legal benefits that non-married people don't have. Getting married changed absolutely nothing between us, and I would have called him my husband anyway.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Married four times, divorced once. One agnostic, one lukewarm believer, one lunatic, and the last one an atheist. (We met at RDF, she gave me my first warning there.)

[the_antithesis]

Marriage is a waste of time and money.

Weddings, doubly so.

[Mermaid]

Married four times, divorced once.

I am no math whiz here, but this isn't adding up for me.

[Johan]

I am no math whiz here, but this isn't adding up for me.

I'm assuming it has something to do with that whole till death do you part thing.

[Mermaid]

I'm assuming it has something to do with that whole till death do you part thing.

I love how you replied to my post from across the sofa. *wave*

[stromboli]

Marriage is a waste of time and money.

Weddings, doubly so.

Its a cultural thing. Might be a waste of money in your world, but it has significance to others. My daughter's wedding cost some serious coin, but it was an awesome occasion, married on the shore of a lake by a grand old hotel in a beautiful setting. It was memorable, and I cherish the experience. She was married by an Appellate court judge-her boss- and there were included elements from different cultures that had significance to both families.

I personally would not involve myself in anything so massive, but I understand the significance and the meaning behind it.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

It's a personal thing.. Personally I don't plan on doing it again, but I have no idea what tomorrow might hang on me.  For all I know I'll meet some fat chick, hate her, fall in love with her ex husband and marry him. I kinda doubt that will happen, but what the hell do I know?  I'm not gay or anything, but one just never knows now does one?

[SGOS]

I was married for 19 years.  Some things about it were good.  At my age, I wouldn't get married again.  I wouldn't have enough time to make all the necessary adjustments.  For me, marriage seemed over rated.  I don't know if I expected something else, or I married the wrong person (or maybe I'm the wrong person).  There were many wonderful times, but also too much negative emotion. 

Also, after I got divorced, I was able to accomplish some life long goals.  It would not have been possible to do this with my partner, and the likelihood of finding someone adventurous enough to make the necessary sacrifices seems unlikely.  Not impossible, but unlikely.  But I could do those things on my own, so I just went ahead and did them, rather than search for another life long partner.

Eventually, I came to realize that I didn't need to be married.  I'm happier being single, and my life is less complicated.  I've had occasional close relationships that have lasted up to a couple of years, but marriage was not going to happen.  I absolutely abhor conflict in my life.  I could tolerate it at one time, but now I just want to experience simple enjoyment.  I'm not sure that's possible in marriage.

[Mr.Obvious]

Think I'll get married someday, not before the church, of course. Religion doesn't have anything to do in my relationship to my girlfriend. But we love eachother and we both want to promise that love 'for our lifetime' someday, when we are ready. (We've talked about it sometimes.) And marriage is a culturaly known and acceptable manner of showing that. And it appeals to us, so you know... :)

[the_antithesis]

Tell you what, my marriage ended after about six or seven years, but lasted for twelve because of the costs involved with divorce.

[Johan]

I absolutely abhor conflict in my life.  I could tolerate it at one time, but now I just want to experience simple enjoyment.  I'm not sure that's possible in marriage.

Its possible.