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Only In America

Started by Solitary, May 18, 2014, 11:28:12 AM

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Solitary

This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured
them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars,
the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small
fires.'

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the
man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and WON!

(Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the
claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a
policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were
insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was
obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company
accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the
cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested
on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from
the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of
intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months
in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award
contest.

ONLY IN AMERICA . . . NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE NUTS.

The Sensitive Man

A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..
They get back to his place,
and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom,
with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken
quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched
by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the lower shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running
all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy
to have such a large collection of teddy bears.

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and,
after awhile, she finds herself thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.
He responds warmly .

They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
And he romantically lifts her in
His arms and carries her into his bedroom
Where they rip off each other's
Clothes and make hot, steamy love.
After an intense, explosive night
Of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
They are lying there together in
The afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently
Strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,
Strokes her cheek,
Looks deeply into her eyes,
And says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf.'
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

Green Bottle

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :axe: :rotflmao: :wallU Americans really are Fuckin Crazy..............no offence   :dance:
God doesnt exist, but if he did id tell him to ''Fuck Off''

aileron

#2
The cigar story is an urban legend that's been floating around for decades.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/clever/cigarson.asp
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! -- President Merkin Muffley

My mom was a religious fundamentalist. Plus, she didn't have a mouth. It's an unusual combination. -- Bender Bending Rodriguez

Jason78

I remember these jokes from history class at school.
Winner of WitchSabrinas Best Advice Award 2012


We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real
tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. -Plato

Solitary

Sorry about that! I received it in an email and never heard of it before. I thought it was funny and hoping people here would enjoy it like I did. My bad. Solitary
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

Nam

Quote from: Solitary on May 30, 2014, 12:19:39 PM
Sorry about that! I received it in an email and never heard of it before. I thought it was funny and hoping people here would enjoy it like I did. My bad. Solitary

A woman, in her own home in Opa-Locka, Florida was taking a shower. A neighbor saw her taking a shower and rushed to the phone and called 911. She told the police what she saw, and the police came over, knocked on the shower-woman's door with no answer. They knocked again: no answer. They then kicked in the door, found the woman taking a shower and arrested her. The woman asked what she did wrong at her trial and the judge said, "It's illegal in Florida to take a shower in the nude." She laughed at how stupid that was and the Judge fined her $50 for contempt, and sentenced her to 30 days in jail.

Is it true, or is it false? The law is an actual Florida law -- so, you decide.

-Nam

Mad cow disease...it's not just for cows, or the mad!