Hey Guys, I need help.

[SqueakingAtheist]

Hi fellow Atheists!

I've recently come out of the Atheistic closet, but I have a few issues that I hope you can help me.

I go to a Christian school. My parents don't know about my views on religion, and I don't know what to do. I'm currently in a rough state with my best friends, and I need help on how to ease the tension between my Christian parents and friends.

One of my best friends recently found out I was Atheist. I thought he was my best friend, and he told all of the teachers and each day I have a debate trying to learn something, but he knows nothing about the Bible.

I can't leave the Chrisitan school as I'm about to graduate and my parents have put the money down for high school.

I guess my questions are,

1. How do I tell my parents?
2. If my parents still send me to the Christian high school, how do I still keep my views?
3. How do I meet other Atheists like me?
4. What are the best books for Atheism?

Thanks, I really appreciate the help. I really needed this.

[aileron]

1. How do I tell my parents?

Why tell them anything?  What benefit do you see in telling them?

2. If my parents still send me to the Christian high school, how do I still keep my views?

Whether you tell them or not, they will likely send you to Christian school.  Your views are your own, and only you get to decide what they are.  Use your innate intelligence and reason, and you'll be fine.

3. How do I meet other Atheists like me?

For starters, stick around here.  For people in your area, check on freethought groups.

4. What are the best books for Atheism?

To ease into freethought and de-program all the indoctrination, Bart Ehrman is excellent.  For science, just about all the leading biologists and physicists are atheists and aren't shy about shooting down religion when it conflicts with science.   While Ehrman eases into freethought with books like "Misquoting Jesus", authors such as Richard Dawkins jumps right into the deep end with books like "The God Delusion."

[PickelledEggs]

:( that sounds BEYOND rough. I don't have the experience needed to give you proper advice for that situation. I do want to welcome you though.
:)
I'm sure someone will have something they can tell you for advice.



Sent via your mom

[_Xenu_]

1) I went to Catholic school up until eighth grade, but knew I was an atheist well before then. You say you've come out of the atheist closet, but if you haven't told your parents yet, there's no painless way to go about this. How do you tell your parents? Thats an extremely personal thing. It depends enormously on their own attitudes and how those might cause them to react.

2) If your views are well thought out, you have nothing to fear from any further attempted indoctrination, because you should already have a rough idea of why they're full of shit. Your knowledge will grow deeper over time, but even what you have should be sufficient for now. For all the authority minister types wield in society, their beliefs don't really stand up to much questioning.

3) You can meet other athiests here or through groups where you live, but don't expect to become part of a social club. Atheists don't tend to agree on much of anything except being atheists.

4) My memory is rusty on this, but I'm sure others can advise you.

[Mr.Obvious]

1) I never had problems with having to come out. So I don't wish to tell you what to do (as in should you tell them at all or not) and I can't advise from experience. If you do intend to tell them, I suggest you prepare yourself in advance in what you want to say and realize how they might react. It is important to try your very best to keep conversation on a soft tone of voice, even if they get angry. And tell them they've raised a wonderfull child that has learned his values and moral compass from them and that you will always do whatever you feel is right, as they brought you up to do. But that you simply aren't convinced of the existence of a God and the divinity of Jesus christ.

2) I went to a catholic high school. It's probably a world of difference here with the more religious America, but still. Put a positive spin on it. Try to take the situation as social experiment. Observe how and why people around you do believe the stuff that is said, while you don't. Listen to the arguments and learn for yourself what could work on them. Learn about the bible so that you have some working knowledge of it's contents for future debates. ...

3) If you're going to college soon by any chance, perhaps you could check if there are secular or agnostic or atheïst groups in those colleges? Otherwise you could search online for groups in your neighborhood? This forum and others like it will also always be here in case you need to blow off steam, but I understand that's not the same as actual interaction. Other than that, perhaps all I could think you could is always be honest. Most people you meet won't be atheïsts, but perhaps if they ask you for your religious point of view and you be honest you may find a few who admitt they are too.

4)Dawkins' 'The God delusion' and Hitchens' 'God is not Great' are 'classics' in the atheïst genre. I also truly enjoyed 'the gospel of the FSM'. A friend of mine also recommended 'The Selfish Gene', but this is more about biology than religion. However, 'The Magic of Reality' is one he really enjoyed and not complicated at all apparantly. If you wish to read something kin to a satire of the Christian faith and all religions in general; 'Small Gods' by Terry Pratchett.

Welcome to the forum!

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Walk the walk and talk the talk until you're no longer dependent on believers. When you are independent you can do as you wish. Reveal yourself to your parents only in dire need if you wish to keep the peace.

[stromboli]

Walk the walk and talk the talk until you're no longer dependent on believers. When you are independent you can do as you wish. Reveal yourself to your parents only in dire need if you wish to keep the peace.

^this. Never, ever contradict GODZILLA!

[Gawdzilla Sama]

^this. Never, ever contradict GODZILLA!

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[Johan]

1. How do I tell my parents?

You wait until you're in your mid to late 20's and then you say Mom, Dad, I love you and I'm an atheist.
Telling them sooner than that is very likely to make all involved very miserable.

2. If my parents still send me to the Christian high school, how do I still keep my views?

Going to a christian high school isn't going to change your views. If anything, it will reinforce them.

3. How do I meet other Atheists like me?

In your case? Very carefully. Especially if you're going to a christian high school. Given the situation you're in, you really want to consider keeping your beliefs to yourself as much as possible until you're out on your own.

4. What are the best books for Atheism?

You could start with the light weight fun to read stuff by Penn Gillette. And then progress to the heavier and dryer stuff by Dawkins and Hitchens.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

This is how I dealt with this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOBRnJABV80

[Solitary]

Welcome aboard SqueakingAtheist! The advice given seems good to me. I never had a problem because my two dads were atheists, and I was since I was six years old. Solitary

[Solitary]

Gawdzilla Sama, sorry for your loss! I too married a believer, and we have had a remarkable life together. I don't know how I would take it losing her, I try not to think about it. An excellent video by the way. Solitary

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Gawdzilla Sama, sorry for your loss! I too married a believer, and we have had a remarkable life together. I don't know how I would take it losing her, I try not to think about it. An excellent video by the way. Solitary

I haven't had much luck with wives. Married four times, divorced once.

[Solomon Zorn]

Welcome to the forum, Squeak. I feel your frustration. It's hard to suppress your own opinion around Christians, but it's their world for now. They will be with you all your life. Sometimes it's best to just choke back the urge to contradict them, and let them think you agree. It keeps the peace.

You said that your friend told all your teachers. I'm surprised none of them have disclosed it to your parents.

How extreme are your parents? If you tell them, how do you think they will react? Will they try to exorcise demons from you? How will you defend your point of view if they sit you in front of a minister and subject you to a lot of apologetics you aren't prepared for? Be sure you can handle what they will throw at you.

Maybe test the water by saying that one of the kids at school is an atheist, but his parents are making him go. See what they have to say about it.

[Munch]

As many have said, for the moment, play it until your are in college, and then tell your parents. Before you do, make sure YOU choose the courses you wish to learn in college, tell your parents you want to follow certain courses because its a carrier path, and make sure you don't get hooked into attending anything religious related when you do attend.
Once you are settled in, tell them then. They might hate it, but honestly, this is the moment that will tests your parents as people, not you, YOU already know whats important to you, and you can't let anyone, not even your folks, tell you what matters.

If they really love you and respect you and your life and choices, they will give you the benefit of the doubt and leave you to making your own decisions. If they do not, you will know then that your future (and you will have a future you decide, not them) does or doesn't incorporate them into it.

Coming out to anything, be it gay or atheism, to people who are so comfortable in there sense of norm will always be a struggle, because its never you thats the problem, its them and they not accepting who you are.