Parent in Heaven, Child in Hell

[Hakurei Reimu]

It is exactly these kinds of questions that make me come up with the perfect rejoinder when some duchebag says they're going to Heaven: "There are no people in Heaven. Only monsters."

[PickelledEggs]

"There are no people in Heaven. Only monsters."

Yeah. All mindless zombies. Even more mindless than when they were on earth.

Sent via your mom

[ApostateLois]

When I was a kid, I asked my aunt--who was super religious--what we would do in heaven all day to keep from being bored. She said, "I think we'll be so busy praising God that we won't have time to be bored!" I didn't really know what to say to that at the time, because while I believed in heaven, that sounded pretty boring to me. And it sounds even moreso now. Christians can barely tolerate sitting in church for a couple of hours to hear a sermon, so how are they going to enjoy what amounts to a perpetual church service that never ends? And you don't even get to hear a sermon, it's nothing but prayers and hymns every moment of your existence forever and ever. I don't care who you are, there is NO WAY you can believe that this is the ideal way to spend eternity. You'd be bored after ten minutes of that, never mind ten million years! The only way it would work is if God reprogrammed your mind to make you basically into a robot that is not capable of thinking or feeling. But wait, haven't we been told that God wants WILLING worshipers, not merely robots that blindly obey? Or is that only for when you are on Earth, and in heaven he takes away your will, your personality, and your emotions so that the only thing you are capable of doing is praising him? I might post this question on Ray Comfort's Facebook page, if he hasn't blocked me yet.

[doorknob]

Well then heaven sounds lame. Nothing bores me more than going to a church. Actually some times church is amusing if you are a real pervert you can make every statement in a sermon into something dirty. I use to do this while young. I would laugh my ass off and people would look at me like something was wrong.

[the_antithesis]

By delicately looking in to his beard through a mirror and implementing his lazer-vision

That's how he did it post-Crisis. Before that, his hair and fingernails simply didn't grown under a yellow sun. Hence why Superbaby arrived with a full head of hair.

Yes, it's stupid.

[inflection2495]

I've seen this argument poses by Matt Dillahunty on the Atheist Experience. He said that his parents wouldn't be the same person if they weren't distressed by his suffering in hell, thus they had to be a different entity, and ultimately by that respect no one enters heaven as the same person they were on earth.

[St Giordano Bruno]

As I see it Heaven is a synonym to the great fairy sky castle and Hell is great fairy dungeon. I just wish to Church would grow up to debunk those concepts.

[SGOS]

When I was a kid, I asked my aunt--who was super religious--what we would do in heaven all day to keep from being bored. She said, "I think we'll be so busy praising God that we won't have time to be bored!"

My grandmother added that we would be doing it while sitting on benches of gold.  Didn't sound that good to me either.  It seems like at a minimum, heaven should include the companionship of a good dog.

[ApostateLois]

It should also include some squishy seat cushions. Benches of gold?? Who would want to sit on that? It would be worse than wooden pews, because metal is cold on your bum! I wouldn't want to sit through eternity with a cold ass.