A Rant on Society and Sexuality

[Shiranu]

So, take this as you will because it is coming from a 23 year old virgin who is also slightly inebriated...

I am sick of the over-sexualization of society. I don't mean this in the, "OMG, how dare women with tits be allowed to be seen on T.V.!" or that music and what-not talks about sex; far from it. What I am sick of is this obsession over anything sexualized automatically becomes so much more amazing simply because it is sexualized... to the point we view the sex appeal over the artistic appeal.

I have no problem with people finding a nude body arousing or erotic lyrics and writings to be arousing, but at the same time I am tired of people thinking things that are blatantly poor quality in terms of artistic quality are the most amazing pieces of work simply because these things are added. A nude picture or a sexualized song/movie should be ENHANCED by the sexuality but not DEPENDENT on the sexuality to be considered a successful work of art.

Because of the stigma of sexuality (which I will get to in a second) though, people over-compensate. People going on and on about their sex lives, shaming other's for not being as "progressive" as them with their sexuality and finding shitty art "...the most amazing work of all time!" simply because a pair of boobs were flashed does not impress me.

Now, to the other side; I am sick as hell of this puritan view of sexuality, that it is evil... immoral... something you should be ashamed of. If it was not for this being the dominant view in (American at least) society then the first issue would most likely not exist. It is slightly funny to me that the view that claims sexuality is immoral does the more immoral act of fucking with people's lives by shaming them of their body and their sexuality as well as just simply being ineffective; people are going to have sex, one way or another, and when they are not educated about it they practice it less safely (ending up in more STDs and kids they cant take care of).

Sexuality and beauty should be celebrated for being sexuality and beauty and not because it is "edgy" or a break of tradition to celebrate them. Unfortunately this is something that very few people I know seem to think; either sexuality should be shameful or it is THE most important thing in the world to advertise just how much you break the mold and how "free" you are about your sexuality.

Being free about your sexuality does not mean living your life to have the most sex as possible and to view every man or woman in 100% sexual terms with no consideration of the person themselves... this is no different than the goth, emos,hipsters etc. who want to prove how much they "break from the system" by doing the exact opposite of the system like everyone else.

Don't know, just something that annoys me :\.

[stromboli]

In an ideal world we could all walk around naked and nobody would care who we had sex with. We go from periods of free expression like the 60's "art" cinema with movies like "I am Curious-Yellow" to backlashes by the fundies that wind us up in mid 70's schlock. One of the sexiest and most arousing movie scenes I ever saw in a movie was a seduction scene in a Japanese Samurai movie. They never removed any clothing and it was all done with facial expressions and sounds, but it was unbelievably erotic. Sex can be artistically represented, but seldom is.

The fact that nowadays someone can look on the internet and find a grandmother having sex with her Saint Bernard kind of takes any meaning or artistry out of what sexuality is. I get coffee and gas at a 7-11 whose owner has a Trans daughter, and hires LGBT people. One person there is named "Lynn" and I don't fucking dare to make a boy/girl comparison, because I fucking don't know if Lynn is a boy or a girl. I am perfectly willing to let them be whatever, I don't care. I also don't care who is fucking who in which body cavity. For an old fart like me, it has pretty much lost its meaning.

[Shiranu]

They never removed any clothing and it was all done with facial expressions and sounds, but it was unbelievably erotic. Sex can be artistically represented, but seldom is.

I should have worded it better so that nudity wasn't a necessity for erotic. This is my major gripe; to most people that would probably be consider, "...okay, meh... are we going to get to see her tits?" and consider it boring, whereas Kim Kardashian could flash a crowd and it would be considered the most amazing event to ever happen.

The fact that nowadays someone can look on the internet and find a grandmother having sex with her Saint Bernard kind of takes any meaning or artistry out of what sexuality is.

That's true, hadn't really thought about that. I guess society probably won't have a normal view of sexuality for awhile, then :\.

(Not to imply mine is "normal" or "healthy"... it's something I was raised to be deeply ashamed of and that is something I am still dealing with...)

[Shol'va]

Have sex, then you'll understand

[stromboli]

I should have worded it better so that nudity wasn't a necessity for erotic. This is my major gripe; to most people that would probably be consider, "...okay, meh... are we going to get to see her tits?" and consider it boring, whereas Kim Kardashian could flash a crowd and it would be considered the most amazing event to ever happen.

That's true, hadn't really thought about that. I guess society probably won't have a normal view of sexuality for awhile, then :\.

(Not to imply mine is "normal" or "healthy"... it's something I was raised to be deeply ashamed of and that is something I am still dealing with...)

One thing I am sure of is that you are living in a set of circumstances not to your liking and feel trapped. That inhibits your other attitudes as well. But you are a young man, although from your perspective it doesn't seem that way. The best advice in those circumstances I could give is to adopt a long view, look for and work for solutions when your circumstances change.

Think of it as being trapped in a box, but anticipating that at some point someone will open it. when that time comes, be ready to make a move to a more positive situation, whatever that might be. Proactive is always better than inactive and looking for positive results leads to positive outcomes.

[Johan]

I have no problem with people finding a nude body arousing or erotic lyrics and writings to be arousing, but at the same time I am tired of people thinking things that are blatantly poor quality in terms of artistic quality are the most amazing pieces of work simply because these things are added.

First of all, blatantly poor quality in terms of artistic quality according to whom exactly? Art is not a contest. There is no scoring system. Or at least there is not scoring system that is worth paying attention to.

Secondly, if you're annoyed because things which you judge to be of poor quality become popular with the general public, then you're going to be annoyed for a very long time.

[Shiranu]

First of all, blatantly poor quality in terms of artistic quality according to whom exactly? Art is not a contest. There is no scoring system. Or at least there is not scoring system that is worth paying attention to.

Complexity, the ability to produce something that someone else couldn't, the ability to put emotion and life into an inanimate object, etc.. While these do not necessarily make a piece of art better (I am not a fan of this, "Modern art isn't art because it's just a line!" hatred) it does simply make the producer more technically gifted than the other.

To claim Nikki Minaj or Kim Kardashian should be considered artists just as much as Bach or Tarentino simply because they have a huge ass in the music video or a smoking hot body on television is absurd. You can argue they are all artists, I would agree with hat, but to say they have the same amount of artistic talent (Minaj to Bach, Kim K. to Tarentino) is an extremely disrespectful remark towards the masters.

Ultimately that is all irrelevant to the core issue of the post anyways, though. The core issue is that society is in a tug-of-war over sexuality much like people who come from ex-soviet states are in a tug-of-war against what was perceived as socialism and capitalism. They trade one ideology taken too far (soviet "communism") for another, unrestrained, unregulated capitalism. The "right" way I feel is to fall towards, just as it is in sexuality. To fly to the polar opposite is to continue to have other people dictate what you think.

[billhilly]

Not getting laid can make a person a bit prudish.  Not sayin that's the case here but it does happen. Kinda like a steakhouse review from a vegitarian.  Hell, I can remember grumbling about fuckin sluts at times when the singer was scoring and I ended up back at the hotel with the drummer and road crew.  Don't discount perspective....

[Shiranu]

I wouldn't consider myself prudish, though... I am all or people being open about the sexuality. It's the why they are that I am interested in. For many people it's a rebellion against the conservative view of sex our society use to held rather than a honest appreciation of it.

Don't get me wrong, I am more than sure people like sex for it's own reasons :P, but at the same time they over-dramatize it for the wrong reasons. There are a few people I know who don' blow it out of proportion and to be honest... they seem to enjoy it far more than the people who think it's the only thing to do in life because they have more respect for it.

Edit: This could actually be applied to most things... alcohol, drugs, etc. ... it's generally the levelheaded people and not the people who are like, "DRINK ALL THE ALCOHOLS!" and "SMOKE ALL THE DRUGS!" that have the most fun doing these things.

[rex]

Shiranu just get laid.

[Shiranu]

Shiranu just get laid.

That is much easier said than done :P. On the bright side, I have talked to two girls in the last year...which is about two more than the 22 years before that...

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Just don't put it off for to long. I'd hate to be 110 and read about you grumbling you're still a virgin at 72 because if you are at 72 there's a good shot you still will be at 73.

My math skills suck, but I think you get the point.

[leo]

Just don't put it off for to long. I'd hate to be 110 and read about you grumbling you're still a virgin at 72 because if you are at 72 there's a good shot you still will be at 73.

My math skills suck, but I think you get the point.

Relax not every guy is a chick magnet . Some dudes are really shy.

[Shiranu]

I think the shy has actually worked in my benefit with the last two girls I talked to, as well as one girl who was into me but it worked out for the best that nothing happened between us.

[Johan]

Complexity, the ability to produce something that someone else couldn't, the ability to put emotion and life into an inanimate object, etc.. While these do not necessarily make a piece of art better (I am not a fan of this, "Modern art isn't art because it's just a line!" hatred) it does simply make the producer more technically gifted than the other.

To claim Nikki Minaj or Kim Kardashian should be considered artists just as much as Bach or Tarentino simply because they have a huge ass in the music video or a smoking hot body on television is absurd. You can argue they are all artists, I would agree with hat, but to say they have the same amount of artistic talent (Minaj to Bach, Kim K. to Tarentino) is an extremely disrespectful remark towards the masters.

The moment an artist hangs a price tag on the art, the amount of artistic talent ceases to matter. Because at that point, you're not longer an artist, you're an entertainer. As Penn Jillette likes to point out, in terms of artist merit, there is absolutely no difference between Ron Jeremy and Mozart. Both made a living by whoring their artistic output for a buck.