The Suckiest Things About Religion

[stromboli]

Just thinking about that this morning. was enjoying a bacon and egg sandwich on Sourdough bread, thinking about how poor Muslims and Jews will never enjoy that savory flavor of bacon. I'm thinking that maybe the whole Christianity thing was just to create an excuse for bacon. Got me remembering the sucky things about Mormonism.

No coffee. A cup of my freshly ground beans made into 12 ounces of robust, flavorful brew in my French Press? Fuck that.

Masturbation. Whole generations of sexually frustrated youth, boys and girls, shamed by uncontrolled wet dreams at bible camp or in the Boy Scouts, camping out. Sad.

Wasting time. Having to do ridiculous chore jobs on saturday morning like hoeing weed as the welfare farm. Fuck that also.

And religion in general: feeling guilty about having sexual thoughts about some pretty lady in her finery at church, needing to "repent in my heart" afterward. Fuck that. Picture undressing her while banging the wife, thank you very much.  

So many things to be grateful for, when the restrictions against them are gone. Going to get the address of a local Muslim cleric and send him some Ham.

[aitm]

Make him some savory hummus, (or whatever the fucky shit they eat- yes that sounds racist...meh fuck it) anyway, add some pulverized bacon but don't tell him, give it to him for a year then if he is an ass-hole tell him. If he says, " hey, taste like bacon in here"...
 :-s

 

 :rollin:

[AllPurposeAtheist]

OHHHHHH! You said fuck !!! Cheese-n-crackers Martha! Did you hear that?  :shock:  [-X  [-X  [-X  
Go wash your keyboard out with soap and water!  [-X  [-X

[stromboli]

Make him some savory hummus, (or whatever the fucky shit they eat- yes that sounds racist...meh fuck it) anyway, add some pulverized bacon but don't tell him, give it to him for a year then if he is an ass-hole tell him. If he says, " hey, taste like bacon in here"...
 :-s

 

 :rollin:

You frighten me.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Let's review.  Pork, coffee, jerking off at boy scout camps, wasting time and guilt..  

What could possibly go wrong? I'm thinking you left out the fifth of hard liquor.  :-k

[MrsSassyPants]

Not being able to say God Damnit would piss me off. I love sleeping in on sundays 2. So much 2 love about Atheism.

[PickelledEggs]

Not being able to say God Damnit would piss me off. I love sleeping in on sundays 2. So much 2 love about Atheism.

Yeah. I am a big fan of using swear words. I use them regularly in daily conversation. Not being able to use certain words because I'm afraid of getting zapped by lightning, would suck.

In fact, when I was little I was afraid to even say the word god without it being in context of me thanking god. If I said "GOD!" If I was angry or something or even in casual talking, my dad would flip the fuck out at me.

[MrsSassyPants]

Seriously!! And then when you say "oh god!!"'during sex, part of you thinks DON'T SAY IT YOU WILL GO TO HELl!!, but the devil says, oh just say it you know you want to!

[MrsSassyPants]

And what about when you wack it, and you think, am I alone here??? "Oh Gawd!!"

[GSOgymrat]

Aren't there any atheist prudes? I don't use profanity, drink alcohol or use substances but I definitely eat bacon and masturbate, although not usually at the same time.

[stromboli]

I left out liquor? The Horror! Glenlivet FTW!

[stromboli]

Aren't there any atheist prudes? I don't use profanity, drink alcohol or use substances but I definitely eat bacon and masturbate, although not usually at the same time.

Masturbating with bacon. Hmmm.....

[PickelledEggs]

Aren't there any atheist prudes? I don't use profanity, drink alcohol or use substances but I definitely eat bacon and masturbate, although not usually at the same time.

I learned profanity from my mom's short temper. Growing up she would curse worse than anyone I knew in school. (although she deny's it).  It sort of rubbed off on to me... and since I came off anti-depressants, I'm so sensitive to my own emotions, if that makes sense, that I sort of just blurt out what is on my mind.

I kind of felt guilty about it at first, but after learning about the origin of swear words, it really doesn't seem bad at all and the fact that people get offended by them is kind of humorous to me.

I'm talking about non racist words, by the way. I don't use racist words because they have no other purpose than to hurt people.

[stromboli]

I learned profanity in the Navy.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

And what about when you wack it, and you think, am I alone here??? "Oh Gawd!!"

W...www...wwwac.... Oh that just sounds painful! :shock: I prefer the term MONOLOVING!


OK,  that sounds dumb, but I got nothing else right now.  :)