I'm slowly becoming an atheist and I'm terrified (HELP!)

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Yeah..reminds me of my 1st wife.. I WANTED to believe she loved me and wasn't fucking the rest of the male population in town, but... at some point I finally realized I'd been duped. Those mental mind fucks felt great at first then began to make me the fool.. Religion is basically saying, 'Really! We're not fucking you over..We lovvvve you..'  [-X

[AtheistMoFo]

But  hey, it kind of sounds like you are putting us on.  Late 20s and still not sure if Santa is real?

AtheistMoFo there's no need to be condescending. I understand I'm putting myself out there to people who don't share my background but I was hoping someone on here could relate. Religion and believing in Santa may be the same to you but to the vast majority of people that's their reality. You should be extremely glad you don't have any mind control bullshit to overcome, not judgmental of others. I envy you. That's nice...but leave the superiority complex for another post.

You are quite right and I apologize.  To those of us who never suffered religious brainwashing, belief in gods really is no different to belief in Santa, but I see your point.  It was caddish of me to make such a remark.  Please accept my apology.

It is a fact that the majority of people the world over have some kind of religious nonsense pounded into their brains from infancy, and most are so fucked up by the time they become adults that they never question it.  So you may not have been as lucky as those of us who never had superstition pounded into us, but look at it this way: at least you are fortunate to finally see through the farce while you are still young enough to go on with your life.  It may make the relationship with your family tough, but there really is no alternative to facing up to reality.  Once you know, you can not unknow.

[the_antithesis]

What's a god?

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I've always thought of Santa as god-lite for kids.. Instead of eternal salvation ya get the latest action figure if you're good, BUTTTT if you're bad it's the ol' lump of coal in the sock instead of eternal torture which for kids waiting for xmas is eternal torture.. :)

[leo]

I've always thought of Santa as god-lite for kids.. Instead of eternal salvation ya get the latest action figure if you're good, BUTTTT if you're bad it's the ol' lump of coal in the sock instead of eternal torture which for kids waiting for xmas is eternal torture.. :)

Yeah but Santa isn't a killer like yahveh . How many people Santa killed ? The bible god killed millions of people.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

We just don't talk about Santa the Killer..  :-$

[Insult to Rocks]

Haven't you ever seen "Silent Night, Deadly Night"? Santa is fucking crazy man. 8-[

[SGOS]

Yeah, like many of you mentioned it doesn't make a lick of sense but the counter-programming still needs to stick. It's as difficult for Christians to make the change to reason as atheists to convert probably. Either way your brain would need to totally shift the way it thinks.

The counter programming does seem to stick, and it can stick for a long time.  After my teens, I realized I was an agnostic and had been much of the time while I was claiming to be a Christian.  I identified myself as an agnostic for many years, and I kept contemplating the ever annoying question of God's existence, "What if this?  What if that?"  The issue of 'not knowing' was sometimes tormenting, but of course not knowing is what agnosticism is.  Not knowing is just an honest self appraisal.  But the baggage lingered on.

Shifting the way I thought was a not an unnatural process for me.  I was prone to reason and I was prone to learning about science.  However, natural as the shift of thinking was (if it actually even was a shift), it created a conflict with the religious training I had gotten early on.  It wasn't the shifting of thinking that was hard, it was the conflict it caused with what I was taught during my formative years.

Finally, after many years of that nonsense, I realized I was an atheist.  I still can't answer the existence question, but realizing I didn't believe (which had always scared me before), seemed to wash away the annoying, "Yeah but, what if this and that questions."  While I don't believe, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I deny.  I don't deny that there might be a god.  I simply don't have a belief.  It's a very neutral state, a kind of a null statement as in programming.  It's just a statement that means nothing and doesn't do anything.  It's an empty space, nothing more.

The reason I could never recognize my unbelief was because of that old religious baggage that seems to hang out in your brain.  Specifically, I was taught it was a sin not to believe.  But what's a guy to do?  Deny who you are?  I can't help it.  I just don't believe.  I guess I could pretend to believe something, maybe sort of fool myself into thinking I actually believe.  But that would be a lie, and I value self honesty more than that.

The upside to all of this, is that I'm just happier judging my reality by what makes sense, both logically, and from what we have learned from science which is basically just a process of critical thinking.  That process doesn't answer all the questions, but it's a solid workable platform.  And it makes a lot more sense than Bible stories.

[mykcob4]

I apologize for any grammatical errors. It's been a long night...

I'm in my late 20's and I come from an extremely religious Pentecostal upbringing. Anyone who comes from a charismatic christian background knows it's the most emotionally manipulative of all. I've never been baptized or spoken in tongues but I've always felt the overwhelming pressure to raise my hands and act the part.

Problem is, I've played the part too well and my family have no idea how fake and uncomfortable I've always felt.

I'm going through a difficult journey of confronting myself and realizing the the voice of "God" in my head when I pray and that feel good sensation I get when there's a worship song playing are all manifestations of my imagination. I feel terrified and guilty for feeling these things. I've been listening to Hitchens' debates & the Atheist Experience on YouTube and I know in my mind that what they're saying is true but I feel literally enslaved by my indoctrination. I'm terrified. What if I'm wrong and the Christians are right and I go to hell? Obviously this is illogical but it still hold such a massive power over me that I can't shake it. I feel like Christianity has completely robbed me of the freedom my friends who grew up in secular households have.

Obviously there are a lot of issues here but the most pressing is that my parent's are becoming more and more demanding of me since I recently moved out of the house. They question me when they don't see me in church and the whole thing has made me feel more distant from them. I know if I tell them they'll literally die of shock and be miserable for ever. This is so true to them that they will never accept it. My entire family is a bunch of tongue speaking devout Islanders (Caribbean) WTF is a girl to do?

1st of all research and learn that "hell" is original to Christianity and would not be part of it if it weren't for Pope Gregory trying to scare people into being obedient slaves.
2ndly if you have moved out you MUST establish your own live. You dictate things in your life no matter what your parents say. I understand that you want to stay on good terms with them, but it's YOUR life not theirs so live it the way YOU decide.

[TrueStory]

I read the title and suddenly felt dirty and germy.... :-k

I sang the title with a little shop of horrors feel and jazz hands and it felt good.

[Lisa360]

Yeah..reminds me of my 1st wife.. I WANTED to believe she loved me and wasn't fucking the rest of the male population in town, but... at some point I finally realized I'd been duped. Those mental mind fucks felt great at first then began to make me the fool.. Religion is basically saying, 'Really! We're not fucking you over..We lovvvve you..'  [-X

Lol religion can be QUITE the bad romance. I just thought of the song "I Will Survive"...

Once I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinking I could neva live without you by my side

(Cue disco music).

[Lisa360]

I read the title and suddenly felt dirty and germy.... :-k

I sang the title with a little shop of horrors feel and jazz hands and it felt good.

Oh crap now I'm reading my own title with the Diana Ross "I'm Coming Out" song. :rollin:

[Lisa360]

1st of all research and learn that "hell" is original to Christianity and would not be part of it if it weren't for Pope Gregory trying to scare people into being obedient slaves.
2ndly if you have moved out you MUST establish your own live. You dictate things in your life no matter what your parents say. I understand that you want to stay on good terms with them, but it's YOUR life not theirs so live it the way YOU decide.

Amen mykcob4. Preach it! Er...um you know what I mean. Lol. Thanks for the advice.  :)

[Lisa360]

But  hey, it kind of sounds like you are putting us on.  Late 20s and still not sure if Santa is real?

AtheistMoFo there's no need to be condescending. I understand I'm putting myself out there to people who don't share my background but I was hoping someone on here could relate. Religion and believing in Santa may be the same to you but to the vast majority of people that's their reality. You should be extremely glad you don't have any mind control bullshit to overcome, not judgmental of others. I envy you. That's nice...but leave the superiority complex for another post.

You are quite right and I apologize.  To those of us who never suffered religious brainwashing, belief in gods really is no different to belief in Santa, but I see your point.  It was caddish of me to make such a remark.  Please accept my apology.

It is a fact that the majority of people the world over have some kind of religious nonsense pounded into their brains from infancy, and most are so fucked up by the time they become adults that they never question it.  So you may not have been as lucky as those of us who never had superstition pounded into us, but look at it this way: at least you are fortunate to finally see through the farce while you are still young enough to go on with your life.  It may make the relationship with your family tough, but there really is no alternative to facing up to reality.  Once you know, you can not unknow.

Thanks. I myself was close to fucking up my adult life for religion by refusing to date my agnostic (current) boyfriend awhile back. My parents disapproved, I still lived with them, and all that "do not be yolked with an unbeliever" nonsense. For god's sake they still thought I was celibate!  :Hangman: (I wasn't. Ever) Looking back, I can see that would have been a terrible call and I'm glad I gave him a chance. We're still dating, and no, he has absolutely no influence over my conversion. We decided not to talk about religion with each other after everything that happened in the beginning. Probably due for a talk soon. I'm pretty sure he still considers me a back-sliding poser christian and I'm fine with that until I can make a clearer distinction for myself.

[Simon Moon]

I'm terrified. What if I'm wrong and the Christians are right and I go to hell? Obviously this is illogical but it still hold such a massive power over me that I can't shake it.

Give it time. Just keep thinking about how flawed this argument really is.

When you were a believing Christian, how much fear did you have about going to the Jahannam (Muslim hell), or the Zoroastrian hell, etc? The Christian hell is just like those, nonexistent.

They question me when they don't see me in church and the whole thing has made me feel more distant from them. I know if I tell them they'll literally die of shock and be miserable for ever. This is so true to them that they will never accept it. My entire family is a bunch of tongue speaking devout Islanders (Caribbean) WTF is a girl to do?

This is the sad part. The loss of family and friends over different beliefs.