I'm slowly becoming an atheist and I'm terrified (HELP!)

[PopeyesPappy]

Hello Lisa! Welcome to the dark side.

As for your doubts go spend some time learning about the origins and history of the Abrahamic religions in general and Christianity in particular. Once you have figured out that much of what you have been taught was borrowed from earlier belief systems, just flat made up or that we don't have any real ideas who wrote it or when it ought to go a long way towards alleviating your fears. If that doesn't work just try reading the Bible from front to back starting with Genesis. At the very least that should convince you that even if Yahweh is your creator the vindictive piece of shit is worthy of your admiration much less your worship.

[Plu]

Sounds like you've found the courage to ask one of the most powerful questions there is, one that most humans never dare ask for fear of the answer, but one they should be asking themselves every step along the journey of life. And you've come here looking for the answer to that question, but in the end, you'll have to find it for yourself.

"What if I'm wrong?"

Ah yes, what if :) Welcome to the forums.

[barbarian]

Welcome to the forums.

[hrdlr110]

If my only reason for believing is that not believing might be wrong, he/she/god will know that, so I'm screwed anyhow. What an aszhole god for making me a nonbeliever!

[Atheon]

Welcome to the forums, and good luck on your new journey to freedom. Let go of the fear... it was put into you by others, and you have the power to eliminate it.

[Jason78]

Being atheist is perfectly normal and nothing to be afraid of.

Welcome to the forums

[GrinningYMIR]

Welcome to the forum

And as some have said; were here to help you, whether that's through listening to your vents, offering advice or even cracking bad jokes just to make you smile a little more

We're here to help!

[aitm]

I read the title and suddenly felt dirty and germy.... :-k

[SGOS]

Sounds like you've found the courage to ask one of the most powerful questions there is, "What if I'm wrong?"

The courage to ask that question is important.  The ability to answer it may not be possible.  

My most important question has  no answer.  The question that should be asked first, is, "Does any god exist?"  If he does, and if he's the Christian god, it would certainly have important implications for us all.  But I could never answer that question by observing my environment.  Even going by those powerful but unreliable emotional experiences that devout Christians use to shore up their faith, no one can offer a proof.  There is nothing out there that suggests such a being exists.  There's arguments, bla, bla, bla, but not a shred of proof.

Now for a being with supposedly awesome powers, one who has spent an eternity (up until 2000 years ago, anyway) fashioning a profusion of unbelievable miracles that defy reason and the laws of physics, why can't he just appear in front of me and do a simple card trick or something?

Nope, nothing to answer this most important question of existence, nothing that would lend some support to any of those ridiculous Bible episodes, where walls crumble at the sounding of horns, seas part, and men kill off their first born to please a loving god.  And how about the one about the guy that was swallowed by a fish?  Such stories would make a reasonable person doubt.  Although an unreasonable person could believe them in a flash.

Why do Christians believe these things, when they would ignore a street person claiming to have had similar visions from God?  Neither the Bible or the raving street person is more believable than the other.

If god is real, he must be one unstable unpredictable crazy ass suffering from an advanced case of arrested development and living the fantasy of uncivilized barbarians.  It takes a lot of faith to be a Christian.  It has to, because the stories they are required to believe are such childish sounding fantasy.

So does this being exist?  I can imagine it, yes, but actually believing that stuff is so far out of my reach, that I'm not going to spend my life worrying about it.  And if that first question cannot be answered, the questions that follow, what he wants, and what he will do to us become a waste of time.  Let's ask ourselves if he exists before we get ahead of ourselves.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Lisa, think about it. If xtians are right and the big spook is real and really wants you to worship 'him' he really screwed up the message with books that make little if any sense, they all contradict each other, no way to know which is right and then picks the absolute worse messengers, usually really goofy fucks and blatant phonies. On top of that there's not even any way to determine which god, who by the way is always invisible, always silent and seemingly delights in tormenting us to believe in.
I'd demand at least an explanation from king spook or just ignore it, get on with your life and not worry what anyone else thinks.

[stromboli]

Yeah, I started asking questions like why is it always god's punishment when something bad happens, yet the results of medical advancements and scientific advances that lead to medical cures that are man made are "proof" of god's healing.

[Mister Agenda]

Welcome, Lisa. I used to be a Pentecostal when I was young. I lived away from my family when I deconverted, so I wasn't under the scrutiny you're suffering. I didn't actually become an atheist until I was in my mid-thirties, and it was about 10 more years before I told my dad (it took that long for someone on that side of the family to ask). I only have to deal with the fallout from that for a few days a year when I visit them. Dad figures I was baptized right so I'll be able to see the anti-Christ for what it is and join the Tribulation Force or somesuch. Whatever makes him feel better, I guess.

It's no fun to live a lie, but it's not fun to be harassed, either. I wish I could advise you, but no one here knows your family better than you, or knows how much it bothers you to pretend to believe.

[Lisa360]

Welcome, Lisa. I used to be a Pentecostal when I was young. I lived away from my family when I deconverted, so I wasn't under the scrutiny you're suffering. I didn't actually become an atheist until I was in my mid-thirties, and it was about 10 more years before I told my dad (it took that long for someone on that side of the family to ask). I only have to deal with the fallout from that for a few days a year when I visit them. Dad figures I was baptized right so I'll be able to see the anti-Christ for what it is and join the Tribulation Force or somesuch. Whatever makes him feel better, I guess.

It's no fun to live a lie, but it's not fun to be harassed, either. I wish I could advise you, but no one here knows your family better than you, or knows how much it bothers you to pretend to believe.

I really appreciate the response from someone with a similar background. Sometimes I wish I could move away. It was much easier when I was away at collage to go under the radar. As someone who took the steps to become baptized you must have been really into it at one point right? What was the turning point, if you don't mind sharing. You're right on all points. For the first time I really feed what gays in the closet are going through lol. Only, at least noone will kick my ass for it...hopefully. I think I just need to strengthen my resolve first and have a clear answer for the questions and attacks I know I'll receive.

Thanks again!

[Solitary]

:-D  Welcome aboard Lisa360! Smile! There is no hell to fear accept other delusional and insane religious people.  :shock:   Solitary

[Lisa360]

Lisa, think about it. If xtians are right and the big spook is real and really wants you to worship 'him' he really screwed up the message with books that make little if any sense, they all contradict each other, no way to know which is right and then picks the absolute worse messengers, usually really goofy fucks and blatant phonies. On top of that there's not even any way to determine which god, who by the way is always invisible, always silent and seemingly delights in tormenting us to believe in.
I'd demand at least an explanation from king spook or just ignore it, get on with your life and not worry what anyone else thinks.

=D>
Best answer so far I think.

Yeah, like many of you mentioned it doesn't make a lick of sense but the counter-programming still needs to stick. It's as difficult for Christians to make the change to reason as atheists to convert probably. Either way your brain would need to totally shift the way it thinks. When I think about it, it just makes me pissed upset that I wasted so much of my money (tithing and all) and time subscribing to something that I always knew in my heart wasn't real and yet felt afraid to question it or even think things through. It's like a put a road block in my mind to keep from thinking too deep about everything which is what I was taught from birth to do.

I studied history and science, I'm obviously an intelligent enough person, and yet whenever my brain would try to lead me to think about the lack of evidence for the 1st and 2nd testament, I felt guilty and shut it down. I never completely bought it but I wasn't about to refute it either. I just went along and took the little crumbs of feel goods I felt God was feeding me. And it doesn't help when you're dependent on your religious family. That's why sometimes I feel a little offended by some of the bashing from atheists who never grew up under that sort of mind control and are quick to be judgmental. Like, yeah, not everyone grew up with white liberal parents. Some of us are black and the faith is so deeply ingrained in our culture it almost seems like it's in our DNA. And coming out from religion would leave you feeling isolated from your race. It's all a clusterfuck but hey, I'm working on it.

Just wanted to say that reading these comments have been extremely helpful. I really appreciate your advice and humor!