the other jokes

[Nobody]

What if we get to the afterlife and find out that we could have taken it with us, after all?

[Cassia]

What if we get to the afterlife and find out that we could have taken it with us, after all?

-Like what the ancient Egyptian thought..

[Cassia]

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses here!"
Argon doesn't react.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I ordered a glass of H2O, my friend said, "I'll have some H2O too."
He died.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These chemistry jokes are so bad that I wish I could dig a hole and barium.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I wake up to this shit?

[Nobody]

You should just be glad you can wake up! The alternative kinda sucks, except not really, 'cause you never know it.

[Cassia]

You should just be glad you can wake up! The alternative kinda sucks, except not really, 'cause you never know it.

That's the best way, in your sleep. I used to think morphine would kill any serious pain. Now I know it barely even phases certain painful things like kidney stones. I was like, please give me some morphine and they were like...we did, full drip, 20 minutes go. I was like uh oh.

[Nobody]

I'm very lucky to have never - yet - had to deal with that! I'm not looking forward to it if it ever becomes necessary! 😱

[aitm]

That's the best way, in your sleep. I used to think morphine would kill any serious pain. Now I know it barely even phases certain painful things like kidney stones. I was like, please give me some morphine and they were like...we did, full drip, 20 minutes go. I was like uh oh.

Similar, I had a severe sciatica attack last year. Most pain I've ever felt, like skinning your left thigh, pouring gas on it and light it up. Horrible. They gave me some morphine just to lay still on the MRI. When I got out I asked them, how the hell could morphine be so addictive? Your shit is like is like aspirin with out the pirin. Not a happy camper that day, then they gave me two gabashitin. Luckily I have an emergency supply of better drugs in the freezer. Survived the three days till they shot the good shit into my back.

[Nobody]

If you're close enough to the dynamite to hear the fuse burning...you're too darn close!

[Cassia]

If you're close enough to the dynamite to hear the fuse burning...you're too darn close!

I swear some 4th's, the rednex around here light-off full sticks. One year, before the 4th, on the interstate about a mile from my house, some genius lit a cig inside a car-load of fireworks and managed to set them off. Car and two guys incinerated. For years you could see where the pavement had melted.  Darwin was on the job.

[Nobody]

🎼🎵🎶Oh my Darwin, oh my Darwin, oh my Darwin kilin' time,
You are lost and gone forever, oh my Darwin killin' time.🎵🎶

[Nobody]

Me, to my dog: "Why are you barking at nothing?"
My dog: "Am I barking at nothing, or is there nothing because I am barking?"
🐕