the other jokes

[Cassia]

Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat
When did this start?
When I was a kid.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

让你看起来

[Nobody]

I can't read Swahili.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Neither could the guy who wrote that.

[Nobody]

A dad couldn't afford to take his kids to SeaWorld, so he took them to the fish market, and said, "Shhh, they're sleeping."

[Nobody]

When I was a kid, my ma would send me to the corner store with $1 and I'd come back with: 5 potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 2 bottles of milk, a packet of tea, and 6 eggs. You can't do that now...too many security cameras.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

A dad couldn't afford to take his kids to SeaWorld, so he took them to the fish market, and said, "Shhh, they're sleeping."

"Luca Brazzi sleeps with the fishes tonight."

[Cassia]

"Father, I'm 80 years old, married, with 4 children and 11 grandchildren, but last night I cheated on my faithful wife with two 18-year-old girls." "My son, when was the last time you were at confession?" "Never, Father, I'm actually Jewish." "Then why are you telling me this?" "Well, I'm telling everyone!"

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"Welcome to the Cabaret♫"

[Nobody]

"When you go to court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."
Norm Crosby

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I got excused during the screening. Defense counsel said I was too smart.

I shit you not. Miami was weird even back then.

[Cassia]

Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.
So I paid my $2 and the guy said, "Once upon a time there was this lobster...

[Cassia]

Bobby showed up to a Halloween party dressed as a premature ejaculation.
He just came in his pants.