the other jokes

[Cassia]

Would it be pretty nuts if you sprinkled glitter in your underwear?

[Unbeliever]

I'm guessing that question is rhetorical? 🤣

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If bright shiney things start fallin' off your scrotum you might want to consult a professional. Helga the Whip Lady for instance.

[Hydra009]

My roommate asked me to bring them some white and blue towels.  I came back empty-handed and said there are only white towels and blue towels, not white and blue towels.  :P

[Cassia]

I told my dad I have an imaginary girlfriend.
He said "Come on, you can do better than that"
I said "Thanks Dad"
He said "I wasn't talking to you"

[Gawdzilla Sama]

My roommate asked me to bring them some white and blue towels.  I came back empty-handed and said there are only white towels and blue towels, not white and blue towels.  :P

You could have had a career in government.

[Hydra009]

You could have had a career in government.

In my management games, I run pretty good logistics and efficient resource management.  But the slightest hiccup from a bad trading partner throws it all into chaos.

[Cassia]

When the airline destroyed my luggage, I contacted my lawyer
After I showed him the pictures, he said: "I'm afraid you don't have much of a case."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today I got asked if I was one of those people that sing in the car.
I said yes but only when I'm going in reverse.
They said that's weird why?
I said I'm just a backup singer

[Hydra009]

Yesterday was my first day working for Sunrise.  (dream job, I love mechs/mecha)
I think I did alright, though I was working so hard I dozed off and rested my head for a second or two on the keyboard.  The comp was in standby mode, though, I think.  Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_Suit_Gundam_GQuuuuuuX

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"How you doin'?"
"Depends on who you ask."
"I'm askin' you!"
"Sorry, I thought you'd want the truth."

[Hydra009]

Microbiologists are a lot bigger than you'd think.

[Unbeliever]

A recent study found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I guess it's true, since I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Microbiologists are a lot bigger than you'd think.

And size matters.

[Hydra009]

> flies to Paris
> my french proficiency is terrible, so I recite some vowels to warm up
> they ask me why I'm saying goodbye when I just got there

[Unbeliever]

I told my psychiatrist that I'd been hearing voices. He told me I don't have a psychiatrist.