the other jokes

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Slept in 72 countries (Navy, 30 days paid leave each year, I took it) and mangled the local language in every one. Worse scenario was when I was trying to make local understand what I was saying and failing miserably. I mean, what the fuck, I just wanted to know how to get to Trafalgar Square.

[Nobody]

If the Invisible Man closed his eyes, could he see through his eyelids?

[Cassia]

If the Invisible Man closed his eyes, could he see through his eyelids?

If he puts a golf ball in his mouth, does it just disappear?

[PopeyesPappy]

If he puts a golf ball in his mouth, does it just disappear?

Depends on which movie you are watching.

[PopeyesPappy]

An old blind biker wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He taps his cane around, finds his way to a bar stool, and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

He gets to know the bartender and tells her all about his life. The many miles he put on his hog before he went blind, and how he went blind.. And all the places and things he had seen on the road.

After sitting there for a while, he raises his voice and says, "Hey, anyone here wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar falls dead silent.

Then, in a deep, raspy voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Biker, I think it's only fair – since you're blind – that you know five things:

The bartender is a blonde chick... with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde chick... with a Billy club.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde... and a professional weightlifter.
The lady to your right is blonde... and a professional wrestler."

"Now... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind biker pauses for a second, takes a sip of his whiskey, and says, "...Hell no. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five damn times."

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If he puts a golf ball in his mouth, does it just disappear?

No, and the contents of his stomach, and intestines, are completely visible.

Thanks why he doesn't have any ... close ... friends.

[Nobody]

If we have watermelon, shouldn't we also have firemelon, earthmelon, and and airmelon? The elemelons! 🤣

[Blackleaf]

If we have watermelon, shouldn't we also have firemelon, earthmelon, and and airmelon? The elemelons! 🤣

[Nobody]

Those firemelons are probably spicy as hell!  🔥

[Blackleaf]

I imagine the airmelon is very light and full of air pockets, and the meat of the fruit melts in your mouth like cotton candy.

The earthmelon tastes like nuts, but are also a little sweet and tart, like cherries. The seeds are edible and have a texture like peeled sunflower seeds.

The firemelon is very spicy. Be careful not to touch your eyes after handling it. It's sometimes mixed with other fruits to add a kick, similar to chamoy. On its own, the fruit is very unpleasant to eat, with the juice only making the burn worse. The seeds are safe to eat, in small amounts. But when ground up, they make a deadly poison that can give a person a slow and agonizing death.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If we have watermelon, shouldn't we also have firemelon, earthmelon, and and airmelon? The elemelons! 🤣

Copyright issues.

[Blackleaf]

[Nobody]

I saw a movie like that, but it wasn't animated.

[Blackleaf]

I saw a movie like that, but it wasn't animated.

[Nobody]

"What does a 300 pound canary say?

Here kitty kitty kitty!"
The Unknown Comic