the other jokes

[Unbeliever]

A man stopped at a fancy restaurant by himself for dinner and was very demanding of his waitress and left 3 pennies on the table for her tip. She chased him down as he was leaving.
"Sir, sir, wait...did you know I can tell a lot about you from your tip?"
He was intrigued, "Do tell," he said.
The waitress tells him, from this first penny, I can tell you are a frugal man." He looked excited, "Yes, yes, I am very careful with my money, please tell me more."
The waitress points at the second penny and says, "This penny tells me you are not married."
The man is smiling ear to ear. "I have never been married, I can't believe you can know this, please, tell me more."
The waitress points at the third penny and says, "From this third penny, I can tell that your father never married, either," and she walked away.

[Unbeliever]

What do you call an Australian marsupial in the bathroom?

A 'roo in the loo with the poo.

[Unbeliever]

I bet this book is a frikken riot.
Stuff just like this, no doubt:

How long did Cain dislike his brother?
Answer: As long as he was Abel.

I just can't think of anything less funny than an evangelical Christian trying to be funny. It always appears to me that they think they deserve extra points just for trying.

I, too, got a Christian joke book, and I laughed and laughed!
It's called The Holy Bible! 🤣

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Easter joke: The first penis in Mary's vagina was  her son's.

[Unbeliever]

One good thing about getting old is that I no longer have to worry about dying young.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

One good thing about getting old is that I no longer have to worry about dying young.

Or leaving a beautiful corpse.

[Unbeliever]

I just heard Colbert, from last night's Meanwhile, where he said that Tom Cruise was planning to make movies into his 90s.
Then he said that he was looking forward to seeing Mission Incontinent! 🤣

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Tom hanging from the ceiling and pissing on the floor. Maintenance called to 3rd floor restrooms.

[Unbeliever]

My doctor told me that I needed a PET scan, so I took my dog to the vet.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Too much Dr. Insomniac's coffee?

[Unbeliever]

Nah, too much Dr. Demento's coffee! 🤪

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Have you tried Dr. Insomniac's coffee?

[Unbeliever]

Never heard of it.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Never heard of it.

800 Grant Ave., Novato, CA 94945 +1415-246-7347

[Unbeliever]

Wow, that's not at all far from where I live!
My local toy store, Five Little Monkeys, is at 852 Grant Avenue.
But I haven't been far enough down Grant to have seen it.