the other jokes

[Hydra009]

Label Guy: Thanks for coming, Billy Joel, what do you have for us today?
Billy Joel: Piano Man
Label: *confused* But you're the piano man.
Billy Joel: Exactly.
Label: Oooh, meta.  I get it.  What's the song about?
Billy Joel: Real people I used to play for at a lounge bar in Los Angeles.
Label: Fun concept and neat trivia.  I gotta say, looks like we have a hit here.  Read me some of the lyrics.
Billy Joel: Davy, who's still in the navy
Label: Wow, very convenient of him to choose a rhyming profession.
Billy Joel:  Paul is a real estate novelist.
Label: That's...unusual.
Billy Joel: And the waitress is practicing politics
Label: Are you sure this is real?
Billy Joel: Yes, 100%
Label: Well, okay then.  As long as it has a great refrain, it's fine.
Billy Joel: The refrain is "Oh, la, la-la, di-dee-da La-la, di-dee-da da-dum"
Label: That's not set in stone, right?  You'll change it to something...um...good later on, right?
Billy Joel: Sure, 100%

[Unbeliever]

Sounds like something from Ryan George! 🤣

[Unbeliever]

I've got a Marijuana plant that grows so fast, I named it Seedbisquit!

[Hydra009]

Disney execs:  So, do you truly like Andor?
Focus group: Yeah!
Disney execs:  Would you like to live it?
Focus group: ...
Disney execs: Too late!

[the_antithesis]

What?

[Unbeliever]

Did you know that William Shatner once tried to start up his own lingerie company for women?
Unfortunately, Shatner Panties turned out to be a terrible choice for a brand name.

[Unbeliever]

Do skydivers wear jumpsuits?

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Did you know that William Shatner once tried to start up his own lingerie company for women?
Unfortunately, Shatner Panties turned out to be a terrible choice for a brand name.

Only if he modeled them.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Do skydivers wear jumpsuits?

Trigger!

I got yelled at for skydiving last week.

I forgot to leave my fall monitor on the ground. Bricks were being shit.

[Unbeliever]

I'm not a skydiver, I'm only a muffdiver.

[Unbeliever]

Do balloons hate pop music?

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Do balloons hate pop music?

No, they get a bang out of it.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I'm not a skydiver, I'm only a muffdiver.

Know a Shiatzu name Muffy. 

[Unbeliever]

I guess the only thing covid was good for was ventriloquists.

[Unbeliever]

A student in Texas, nicknamed "White Lightning," set a high school record by running the 100 meter dash in 9.98 seconds.
  Coincidentally, people used to call me White Lightning, because I always finished in under 10 seconds.