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worster than the worst

Started by Cassia, March 12, 2022, 10:27:20 PM

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Cassia

There's two fish in a tank. One says, "I'll man the gun. You drive."

Two pumpkin muffins are in an oven. One says, "sure is hot". The other says "ahhh, a talking muffin".



Mike Cl

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock.  The clock struck one, the other got away.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

the_antithesis

What is green and makes holes in walls?

A drill pickle!

Mike Cl

Dredged up from my teen years--why does a fly have wings?  To beat the Italians (or Polish or take your pick) to the garbage can.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

Mike Cl

On a roll.  Why does an elephant put springs on their feet?  To jump through trees raping monkeys. 

What is the worst sound a monkey can hear?  Sprong, sprong................
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

Mike Cl

Why do I remember this shit??  Another one.  How can you tell the bride at a Polish (or any other group) wedding?  She is wearing a clean bowling shirt--or she has her armpit hairs braided. 

What is black and white, black and white and black and blue?  A nun rolling down the stairs.

Why do elephants have big balls?  They like to dance.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?  So they can hide in a strawberry patch.

Okay, okay, okay, Mike--knock this shit off!!!
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

Cassia

...and i didn't even know elephant jokes were a thing.

Me:           I would like an appointment please.
Receptionist: OK, how about 10 tomorrow
Me:           Thanks, but I only need one

Mike Cl

Quote from: Cassia on March 13, 2022, 09:28:53 PM...and i didn't even know elephant jokes were a thing.

Me:           I would like an appointment please.
Receptionist: OK, how about 10 tomorrow
Me:           Thanks, but I only need one

There are literally books of them.  But they date to about 58 years ago. :))

Then there Bob jokes. 
What do you call a legless armless man in a swimming pool?  Bob

What do you call a legless armless man on the front porch?  Matt

What do you call a legless armless man on the wall?  Art

And so on...................
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

Dark Lightning

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter, he ain't coming, anyway.

What do you do with a dog that has no legs?

Take it for a drag.